Is it pathetic to look good for someone you like to attract them?

[Anonymous]

I’ve done this myself. When I do it, I honestly feel stupid 🤦‍♀️

[SteveSmith1985]

I am a bit confused by the way you worded your question. I think that everyone tries to "appear at their best' (as much as is reasonable given different situations: e. g. 'hangover-breakfast' vs. "a wedding").

But I would say that most people generally try to "look their best"...(for the most part) for everybody!

What I mean is: "if you think something makes you look good... why are you waiting until you're trying to attract somebody to adopt whatever it is"? Shouldn't you just... do it because you like it, because it makes you look good regardless?

So I'm thinking you're maybe asking something different. I think you (or anyone) are going to choose whatever you think makes you 'look as good as possible". So, what are you talking about doing different for the sake of attracting this specific someone?

I can't help but feel it's not trying to 'look good' you're asking about, as much as 'looking the way you THINK that person will like better'? If so, then the answer is "yes" that can be 'pathetic' only insofar as you're choosing to do what you think SOMEBODY ELSE will find "good looking" rather than doing what you do every day... which is to look the way YOU think makes you appear at your best.

The whole problem with it, is allowing your idea of "what makes you look good" to change based on what you THINK somebody else might like better.

You should do whatever YOU think makes you look good. And if that's not to someone else's taste. That's ok... I mean it sucks, but it's not pathetic. But going against what YOU think makes you look good for the sake of trying to attract someone you like is problematic because of the lack of confidence in YOUR OWN judgement to present yourself to the world the way YOU think you look your best.

If you mean: is it pathetic to "go the extra mile and take extra time and care in my appearance" then... no that's fine.

For example: if you take extra time to make sure you're all 'put together' similar to how you might if you were going out (you know... taking that extra time to get your hair just the way you like and all that fun stuff)

... but you're not going anywhere special... you're just going to work... where that guy you like happens to be...

Then that's totally totally fine. Very normal.

It's CHANGING how you look for someone else that's a problem. Not taking extra care to try and look your best because you know the guy you like is going to see you. That's very normal. 🙂

[UniquelyBasic]

Nothing wrong with putting in effort but it can go too far especially when people will get plastic surgery for someone's attention.

[Asker]

I mostly just do makeup and nice clothing.

[BlueScorpio]

No, everyone likes looking the best version of themselves from tine to time. It's called wanting to make a good impression. For example, if you were invited to a ball, would you show up in your pj's knowing everyone is going to be dressed in gowns and suits? Probably not. So it's okay.

[Aerissa_Jade]

Only if you think it is, what others think doesn't matter.

[Guy13]

No, it is called strategic planning.

[Emogirl999]

I did it and I eventually got the guy i was interested in, we have been dating for over a year now and things are still going great.

We didn't get to see each other often, only at the occasional group gathering so I always got dressed up when i knew i was going to see him so i could catch his attention.

[Nomina]

I don't think so. It's part of the matind dance, in my opinion.

I see it the same even in a relationship. It would be like saying trying to look good for your spouse is pathetic, even though it feels good when they acknowledge that you look good.

[ShellyB]

In general no it is not pathetic to do this although it can be overdone to the point that it is counterproductive or seems desperate. But generally speaking if you have a crush it is normal to try to look good when your crush sees you.

[TenderFantasy]

No, why would it? You like them, so you're more motivated to dress nicely or whatever, to impress them!

[MCheetah]

No. Don't listen to that bitter "Pick Me Girls are lame" feminist BS. Most people in the world do this, and it succeeds more often than it fails.

[sheikalana]

You should look good everyday for yourself. If by looking good means changing your overall appearance just to impress or attract someone then yes, I think is pathetic.

[Tina19]

Don't call yourself stupid u just need to figure out the skills and what suits your face cut amd body type you should always look good and presentable no harm in that

[AdithyaR]

It's not pathetic.
I believe it's the same studying extra to score good in an exam, presenting yourself extra nice at an interview to get the job.
People prepare to achieve what they want.

[CubsterShura]

Why is it stupid to want to attract someone you are feeling an attraction to?

[Ms_Facesitter]

No. First impressions are important. I try to look good whenever I am leaving my home. It's not pathetic. Just don't lose yourself.

[Curiosity2006]

Pathetic? lol This is what everyone does! XD

[Counterclocking]

What can attract one person might not attract another. However, making a good first impression is important. Always know which people you’d take seriously.

[RavVid]

Why? If I like a girl I will make sure I wash the clothes I'll wear.

[JDavid25]

Not really, I mean it's natural and animals do it all the time.. Nothing pathetic about it.

[HighValue]

N. You are supposed to try to look good for the person you like or are with. o

[jshm2]

It's better to talk the part, than dress the part.

[annabananna]

Pretty normal. I mean who wants to look their worst when around a crush?

[Akam93]

I do it to attract my crush more to me. Cause he already finds me beautiful.

[Asker]

You think you two will get together?

[Akam93]

Not when he's married.

[Asker]

So you want him to cheat on his wife?

[Akam93]

Well no. But I sure as hell hate her. She treats him like dirt.

[Asker]

Oh! Hope he gets out soon.

[Akam93]

Hope so.

[Xoirwinkan]

That sounds like that most natural thing for a woman. For men, it's more about actions, I think, which is why teen boys do all sorts of dares to show off in front of girls.

[Downhill20]

No. I guess you can't sustain that forever, but it's certainly not pathetic.

[AmeerX]

I think it looks good to try. But don't overdo it otherwise they can get the hint what you are doing 😅

[Minahh]

I'd say it's okay to want to look good to others but it shouldn't be at the expense of your authenticity

[Jamie05rhs]

It's not pathetic. But you have to actually do something as well. You can't just stand there and look pretty.

[BJP21]

Some of you reek of Versace cologne from 2 blocks away.

[Asker]

I can’t even stand the smell of perfume of cologne.

[Asker]

*or cologne

[FinalFantasyBro]

No literally everyone both men and women try to look good for their crushes.

[Anonymous]

In theory, but not really. It just says you puth forth some effort. And that says a lot right there.

[driven159]

Why would trying to get someone's attention be stupid

[cloud9vortex1234]

No, that's a Natural Thing for a woman to do if she likes a guy.

[Loser94]

Yes why paint your face up like a clown. They should like you for you not the work you do

[Twalli]

You shouldn't drastically change yourself to attract someone else.

[Anonymous]

Not really its literally what women and men have been doing for millions of years.

[trina_x]

i dont think so

i do it, its not bad

[Blackmoonsns]

No that's completely normal

[FilmGuy93]

Why would that be stupid? That’s how mating work

[chilldude33]

Yeah, that's why you should shower once a month

[Fleet7635]

No that’s just human nature

[Engin12]

no its how much you care for them

[Stevethestud]

No I think that is the best thing to do

[Grond21]

Not at all

[Anonymous]

No, it's not.

[Anonymous]

Yes.

[Asker]

Seems like a lot of people disagree with you 🤷‍♀️