Why would my ex want to meet up again a couple of months after breaking up but then go quiet and date someone else, misunderstanding or not?

[Anonymous]

My ex broke up with me after I asked whether we should call it off after almost 2 years due to him still having hang ups over his divorce. He painted it as though it was best for me but not him. Said he wasn’t interested in dating anyone else as it isn’t fair u til he’s sorted himself out. He’d make the effort to stay in touch here and there, as would I. Then suggested meeting up a couple of months later, I agreed. But through our chats (as we’d decided to keep it friendly) I mentioned that someone was wanting to hang out with me but I just saw it as friendly and nothing more and was looking for advice on how to avoid getting into anything with anyone without it being awkward (you know how Mens egos can be), he asked why I don’t want to date anyone, I said I just didn’t and it was nothing to do with anyone else. Since then he’s no longer been complimentary, flirty, initiating convo etc. And had been posting a new women on his social media. Does he think I didn’t want him back anymore or is he just not interested and never really was. What’s your estimation guys from the brief info so far? I’d be grateful for any insightful answers. Thanks in advance. 🙂

[DaveJord]

Well, it's hard to say honestly, you two dated for two years so it was not like anything from my personal experience. But the way I see it this split down two standards ways. He wanted sex, or the freinds thing deterred him.

1. I dated a woman for a few weeks, broke up. After about a month of not getting laid I reached out to her... with the intent of just being friend, wink, wink... lol But then a few days later I met someone else. She messaged be back but by the time I got around to reading it, she had deleted it and blocked me.

2. Whenever I say I am fine with just being friends with a woman (Which is never do, but some guys say they can) that friendship only lasts as long as it takes me to find someone other women, and then I put all my time into that romantic relationship. Because romantic partners require a lot of time, and I have guys freinds and non-romantic women freinds usually get the short end of the stick. Until I am in between girlfriends again and I want to revisit the possibilities. Even then it's mostly to just get laid, but you never know people and circumstances change over time.

3. If I was a woman, I would never tell a guy I just want to be friends or keep it friendly unless I was 100% certain I had zero feelings for him and would never ever want to consider the possible again. Men say they are fine with just being freinds, but the ones that say that are lying more than 1/2 the time. Especially if you been together before like for two years and you know it was fun the first time.

4. Getting back to together with someone from your past can be complicated, and maybe he was interested in doing that... but then some new chick popped up and it just was less complicated that way.

[Asker]

Thank you for sharing. When I suggested friendship I genuinely meant it. Bit feelings are also complex - mine change on a daily basis at times so it’s hard to predict. Some people it’s also easier with than others.

[Asker]

Why do you think he’s posting pictures of them on social media knowing I’ll see it? I don’t know whether it’s deliberate or not but he posts about things they’re doing that I enjoy.

[DaveJord]

I mean you can't assume anything... it could or could not be deliberate. If you really like this guy, then you just need to tell him that this freinds thing is not going to work for you... but if he is ever interested later on... you haven't changed your number.

[Asker]

I’ll give it some thought. There’s a bit more to figure out first.

[Asker]

He did say if he was ready for something more serious (as in more than just us being together and happy and not looking to date anyone else) it’d have been with me. But I don’t know whether he was just saying that to try and make me feel better really.

[DaveJord]

You were together for two years, so you should know him pretty well. Unless you have a reason not to trust him... then you probably should take him at his word.

[Asker]

Well he’s a psychologist so I don’t think he’d want to say anything bad. I felt he cared for me at the time but I’m just not sure about the honesty, nobody is 100% honest all of the time.

[Guy13]

He was hoping to see if you were interested in hanging out or sex.

[Asker]

This was my thought too. But I try not to be too cynical also. Can I ask what makes you think that? Have you done this?

[Guy13]

I have not myself but a lifetime through university of soccer locker rooms and guys…. I’ve heard, seen, or done it and this is a common occurrence for guys.

[DaveJord]

@asker @Guy13 Speaks the truth.

[Asker]

@DaveJord thank you both

[Guy13]

Yep... hope it works out like you wish. Take care !

[sheikalana]

This is why is never a good idea to reconnect with exes. Let them be in the past that's exactly where exes belong.

[spartan55]

Well, first of all, why you even care what that guy says at this point? He is obviously not serious.
When he hit you up, it was likely for sex. Then, when you tried to make him jealous he decided to bail out.

[Asker]

So why is he posting them on social media, revenge of sorts or something else?

[spartan55]

I guess? Again why waste the energy even worrying about it? The guy is a turd.

[Wise4myage]

Probably for sex?

[Wise4myage]

Or at least he's hoping for that to happen.

[Asker]

Yeah I knew that’d be part of it. Can I ask what makes you think that? Have you done that?

[Wise4myage]

I've tried but had no success. But I think the time of year has a lot to do with why he would try.

[Asker]

In what sense? In wanting comfort through the colder weather? Possibly, but I think a lot of people break up just before Christmas too.

[Wise4myage]

The holidays.

[Asker]

So do you reckon the new person is just for sex or more?

[Wise4myage]

I think sex.

[Asker]

So why flaunt her on social media stories? Ego proving something to mates etc?

[In_Trance]

Desparation