Should I move forward with her? I don’t want to be hurt?

[bernard2]

Hey all. I’ve started dating someone a few months ago and things I have been well. Until recently she mentioned her ex and she still talks with him. I was upset when she mentioned this, but she explained it’s just friendly, they just check in with each other and that’s it. However, their breakup seems to make me curious if there’s underlying reasons why they keep in contact. Her ex is a pilot and his job sent him internationally, and distance wasn’t something she could handle well. Ironically, they had broken up before due to distance until she moved to the city he was in. They dated when she moved but then his job yet again came in the way. She said she hang up with him since almost close to a year ago and they’re just still friends. I really like her and I don’t want to get hurt. I’m not successful like her ex, and the fact he still texts her makes me worried. I’m scared of getting my heart broken. But she says she doesn’t want to be with him. Should I worried about him?

Updates

+1 y

She also was the one who said distance was difficult for her, her ex was the one who wanted to get back with her when she moved but as his job made him travel a lot, she felt it put a strain on their relationship, but fact of matter is he lives in the same city and is home occasionally so makes me wonder why she won’t still see him when he’s home. Her ex apparently tried to date someone else but he broke up with that person as he told her he still had feelings for her & found it difficult to mo

[dynamicyandere]

That’s a tough one. It sounds like the only thing keeping them apart is distance. Otherwise, it sounds like they’d be together.


She doesn’t sound like she’s over him completely. It seems like she’s holding on.


But, if she insists that she has moved on from him, then it’s a trust and integrity thing.


She would need the integrity to tell you honestly how she feels. And you would need to trust her words.


That’s what would need to happen for this to work.


For me personally, I don’t date people that would break up over distance though. I prefer stronger commitment. And in my opinion, I wouldn’t want to be with someone simply because of convenience. I would want true chemistry, and it wouldn’t matter where they are in the world as long as we have that genuine connection.

[bernard2]

I completely agree. She also was the one who said distance was difficult for her, her ex was the one who wanted to get back with her when she moved to the same city and she agreed but as his job made him travel a lot, she felt it put a strain on their relationship, he wasn’t available as much due to frequent flying, time zone differences etc. but fact of matter is he lives in the same city and is home occasionally so makes me wonder why she won’t still see him when he’s home.

[bernard2]

Her ex apparently tried to date someone else but didn’t last long as he told her he still had feelings for her.

[dynamicyandere]

It doesn’t sound like either of them has fully moved on.

So, it’s like you’re starting a relationship with someone that isn’t over their ex yet.

I personally wouldn’t move forward. At least, not until she can prove she has moved on.

Her breaking up with him over distance and inconvenience?…

Yet, holding onto him by staying in touch while he has feelings for her…

You can make your own decision, but to me, her commitment sounds fickle, and I don’t risk heartbreak for fickle commitment.

[Guy13]

Distance and Risk is difficult. If you’re doing Odds then no but doing Love then why not?

[Changiis07]

I think you should talk to her that it bothers you and if she respects you she will stop talking to him. Even if it's just "friendly" as she says if you guys are official then it's not a good thing to keep in contact with an ex if you guys are just talking then I would be careful but still mention it in a way without sounding controlling

[KathrynTaylor]

It can’t hurt..

[Iron_Man]

It’s going to be hard

[In_Trance]

Nope