Who should I choose?

[Anonymous]

After many years of picking up with losers and bums, I’ve finally met two good men who like me for who I am. One is a white man, has a job and his own house but sexual problems, whom I’m more physically attracted to and I like. The other guy is a black American and I like his warm personality and sense that he’s more mature than the other one. They’re both intelligent, both good people and both quite interested. Who should I choose in the end? I haven’t kissed or slept with either of them.

[Anonymous]

I’m not sure what race has to do with anything or why you needed to include that when describing these men — its an unnecessary element to this question really. Anyway, when was on the dating scene last year I was sure to date with intention. Even despite having several prospects, I knew what I wanted in a person and based my decision making off of who aligned best with that. Be sure to know what you’re looking for and clear with them as to what they’re currently seeking as well, like Do they want relationships or just looking for casual dating? It’s something to clear up if you haven’t already.

[Asker]

I’m not sure what’s wrong with giving a description of someone’s appearance. When you want to order Chinese food, do people worry about being perceived as racist, like there’s something shameful about mentioning you like Chinese food and ask for an nonspecified, Asian ethnic dish?

[Opinion Owner]

I don’t think that’s the best comparison here, because no where did I call you racist, I’m just not sure what including their ethnicity matters to a general description of what they bring to the table. If someone asked to you describe what they look like then sure, but you’re listing their qualities and what they have to offer. That’s all I’m saying.

[Opinion Owner]

Like I truly got more than enough from you saying that one has a house, good job, may not perform so well sexually and may not be very mature, while the other is more mature, and a great personality. That’s why I don’t see why white and black matters I guess.

[Asker]

and I don’t see the problem in mentioning it. Or feel the need to justify myself. However, thanks, for answering my question. You have good advice 😊👍

[Opinion Owner]

No one said to justify yourself, I’m simply noting that it was an unnecessary element in describing these two men. It’s just lacking tact, and that’s coming from a person of color just trying to educate you, especially if you do date the black man. Maybe it’s a talking point you should tell him you feel is necessary when describing his qualities to others. Take care!

[Asker]

You’re just carrying on over nothing in my opinion. Regardless of your race, which as you’ve been trying to point out isn’t relevant 😊👍. Take care.

[Opinion Owner]

When did I say MY race wasn’t relevant? I said mentioning HIS race as part of what he brings to the table was unnecessary. If you feel cool doing so then carry on, but it is tactless, pretty insensitive and I’m just letting you know. Rather than trying to invalidate me by saying that I’m “carrying on over nothing”, you could simply accept it as something you can’t relate to or understand, and leave it at that.

[Asker]

You’re a silly woman; and not worthy of further comments. Have a nice day/night.

[Opinion Owner]

And you are completely and purposely misinterpreting what I’m saying as some sort of attack on you — this is not that. All I’m trying to say is that he can be a good, smart, funny man, without having to note that he’s black, or white, or Asian, or whatever. It was a aspect that you didn’t have to mention, and if you told him and let him read this entire thread, I promise he would agree. If you want to date a black dude, then you must be open to teaching moments like these and look at it from that perspective rather than choose the comfort of ignorance. This can’t be your response to people trying to help you understand things. That’s just childish.

[swettannie]

what kind of sexual problem? but i would choose the black one

[Asker]

He has problems maintaining an erection.

[swettannie]

yeah, no. that's a big problem.

[swettannie]

feel free to dm me if you want to talk more about it

[Asker]

Thanks 😊👍

[Dazza10]

Of course a racist person says that😑

[Asker]

According to someone who’s probably never had a black girlfriend, or any contact with them. Get a life.

[Guy13]

Frankly, I’m jealous. Two good guys at once…Why doesn’t that ever happen to me…so unfair. When it rains it pours. “I hate you.” 😎.
Your New Year is going to be full of “fun and excitement. You said one has sexual issues, however, you have not slept with either one. If I am not prying, how you know that…

[Asker]

Don’t lose heart. There’s someone for most people. You just have to keep searching. Yeah, he can’t maintain an erection.

[Guy13]

Yikes. Viagra or nothing eh?

[Asker]

Maybe..

[Guy13]

He ought to know, without any woman telling him, to go to doc and get a generic version of Magic. You should not have to tell him that. That’s part of loving partner. Go get a bottle, take a double dose, play with till roses like a pound cake in PRIVATE.
Then he be all good for his babydoll. You can’t ever say anything about fixing it. Man-up character time….

[Anonymous]

Choose the black one.


bnwo.substack.com/p/why-europe-will-get-blacked

[Anonymous]

Yeaa.. go black.. BBC is so much better even to compare to one that isn’t really.. working..

[Anonymous]

Personality always wins.