A guy I went on a date with made a joke about me being a virgin. Is this rude?

[Lalalove11]

He also was talking about sex a lot on the first date which made me a bit uncomfortable. When he realised I'm a virgin he made this joke about how it makes sense I watch a YouTuber because a lot of incels watch him. When I said I saw a ghost he asked did schizophrenia run in my family🤨😅 I think he's cute but his rudeness and talking about his previous sexual experiences was a huge turn off. Should I go on another date with him?

[NotTacocaT6969]

When the first date goes bad in any kind of way, there should be no second date.


Makes about as much sense as burning your hand on an oven and then touching it again because you’re not sure it was actually hot.

[Anonymous]

Probably just nerves or sometimes people give offence unintentionally thinking they are hilarious and charming but are just not as funny or as charming as they think they are.

[Lalalove11]

Lol yeah I think that's what happened😆😭

[Zlantur2]

It's not normal to talk about sex on the first day. And definitely it's a no-go to make fun of a virgin girl cause she didn't have sex yet. It's her choice. He is a dumbass, leave him and find another guy.

[OlderAndWiser]

When you see that many warning signs on a first date. . . how many more do you need to see before you pull the plug on this guy?

[Lalalove11]

Well he told me after another date he only wanted to be friends because he isn't in a place to pursue more right now. But he still wants to meet up so I guess I understand what he wanted all along

[OlderAndWiser]

He may also be looking for a friends with benefits.

[Summeroflove]

If you’re waiting and he’s too into sex and irs creeping you out. Maybe this ain’t a good idea with him.

[UmbrusNightshade]

I'd advise against it. At best this guy is a sarcastic, full-of-himself douchebag, who may have good intentions but either nerves or inexperience has him trying too hard; at worst he was showing you his true self... a self that obviously wants to sleep you and feels that he is superior. Either way, these are major red flags. He either needs to work on being more confident and not try to come across like PUA bullshit con-artists out there suggest or he's a legitimate douche who just wants to get you in bed and doesn't respect your opinions or beliefs.

[SnowedIn]

Yes he was rude. Yes it is rude to make a joke about being a virgin.

No, you should not go on a date with him.

[Truthatanycost]

Why is this a question? You must be attracted to this...

[Lalalove11]

Lolll what. I guess I'm very attracted to him in a weird way and yet he's an ass hole so I'm wondering is it worth it.

[Truthatanycost]

That's what I thought. You are attracted to toxicity and eventually this will diminish your ability to have healthy connections. A very common trap with the 'side effects' only creeping up very slowly.

[Lalalove11]

I know I probably sound deaf dumb and blind but do you think all the things he said were toxic and red flags?

[Truthatanycost]

I'm looking at what you said from a purely logical perspective. Talking about previous sexual experiences?

I am looking at it from the perspective that all of us are here to ascend spiritually, physically and mentally. Nothing you've mentioned on this date is even remotely related to those things and sounds like a waste of time with a little toxicity sprinkled on top.

[Lalalove11]

Agreed, it was a learning experience

[KostasKouvalis]

Wow, this guy sounds like an asshole. I hope you didn't decide to proceed with him.

[Lalalove11]

In the end I went on a third date and deeply regret it. I developed stupid feelings but we are no longer in contact

[KostasKouvalis]

Three dates, JESUS! *facepalm
What positive feelings could you possibly develop for someone who puts you down like that?

[Lalalove11]

I have poor self esteem and brushed off that stuff. I idealise people who I crush on. I'm naive! I thought he was making poor attempts at being funny

[KostasKouvalis]

Oh I see. I know what you mean.

"I idealise people who I crush on"
I do too honestly. I always give them the benefit out the doubt or try to find justification for their behavior, but ultimately I end up accepting the reality. Honestly, I think he just wanted to have sex with you, but he certainly has a strange way of going about it.
The ghost stuff, that's not something I'd share on a first date. At least not straight up. Start by talking about ghost shows and ask him if he believes, if he says YES, tell him, if he says NO, keep that shit to yourself. Not everyone is opened minded.
You sound like an interesting girl actually :)

[Lalalove11]

You're right, especially since people might think you're crazy. I stalked his twitter and he follows a lot of 'autistic femboys' so the more I thought about it the more I wondered was he on the spectrum for being so blunt. And yes, he only wanted sex in the end.
Yeah it's hard not to idealise in the beginning. It's all a learning process

[KostasKouvalis]

OMG! That is DISGUSTING! Honestly, he sounds like a creep! I've crushed on girls before who were into drag queens and trannies. I try to be open minded with my crushes, but that kind of shit too much for me and raises a lot of red flags. The funniest part is, she thought foot fetish people were creeps, but trannies weren't. It's sad that we now live in a world where people have no shame about admitting to such things

[Lalalove11]

I try stay open minded too, he's not hurting anyone but yes it's very weird and uncomfortable to me! Lol and yeah they are very hypocritical

[KostasKouvalis]

You're okay :)

[Bananas83]

Nah you can do better than him. Nothing wrong with being a Virgin, I didn't lose mine until I was 24. It's all personal preference

[jjj101010]

Was it a first date? How much detail did he go into?

[Lalalove11]

Yes my first date he told me one of his sexual conquests he had outside a church, then he talked briefly about his ex and the last time they had sex which was like hate sex. He also said he recently went back with two girls and his friend but it went terribly wrong.

[jjj101010]

Sounds a bit much for a first date, followed by the way, follow back?

[dustybiker]

Passive aggression was a turn off for me.

[Akam93]

I wouldn't. Sounds like a jerk.

[msc545]

no, ditch him.