Just hooked up with a guy I’ve been on a couple of dates with, he just told me he was a virgin, how do I respond to that? We’re both 23?

[Anonymous]

I think we get along well enough to have phone dallas and hang out, but I haven’t felt like head over heels with him, but it was the third date so I thought it wouldn’t hurt at this point to see what it’s like hooking up, we did, wasn’t great. I thought he was just super nervous because it had been awhile, not that it hadn’t hooked up in the last before at all. I don’t know how to respond to this. Like I said we’re still in the phase oh getting to know each other and he lied that he’s had sex before in the past just casually talking about it the day after because he was self conscious, but today, he confessed he was a virgin. I haven’t completely opened the message because I really don’t know how to respond to this. He lied and then told me I took his virginity which is kinda a big deal lol. He made a joke at the end of it that he was gonna go hide now. I’m really not good at communicating, please give me advice on how to respond to it so I don’t come off insensitive

Updates

3 mo

Oh wow I’m sorry about the typos !!! copied & pasted below without typos in first half down below
I think we get along well enough to have phone calls and hang out, but I haven’t felt like head over heels with him, but it was the third date so I thought it wouldn’t hurt at this point to see what it’s like hooking up, we did, wasn’t great. I thought he was just super nervous because it had been awhile, not that he hadn’t hooked up in the past before at all. I don’t know how to respond to this.

Updates

3 mo

I couldn’t leave him hanging, but I just made a joke and said “damn, well I guess, you’re welcome✨” we joke a lot and I don't know how to respond please help😭 even if the convo topic gets changed I’m not THAT shy so if y’all have any suggestions on what to tell him so he doesn’t feel bad please let me know and I’ll bring it up again and respond better if y’all can help thank you!!

[Avicenna]

Well, if he lies about this, he probably is lying about other things. You have to decide whether you can handle the lie about his virginity (it was a dumb lie).

[Asker]

I agree it was a dumb lie, but at the same time I tend to sympathize too much with people and that can sometimes end up not working out well for my own needs. But I do have to say, he is definitely a shy guy, which is new for me, and we’re both 23 so i can understand why it was hard to admit, and can’t say I completely understand him because when I gave my virginity in the past, I let the guy know I was one. Just kind of a double standard for men I think, but I am a bit paranoid with how comfy he was lying about it, and dragged out the lie in different ways, but he did come clean, and once again he’s shy so I’m not gonna ghost him, I’m gonna see if we can click with eachother anymore after this, he does live 2 hours away so that’s a whole other thing lol but thanks for your reply:) sorry for the long reply myself I’m just having a “stream of consciousness” moment lol thanks again

[Pterodon]

Well first thing that stands out to me is he lied. Second thing was he said you took his virginity. I thought it was something you gave. He was probably horny af and didn’t want to be a virgin anymore. I’d respond that you’re flattered he chose you to give it to and leave it at that

[Asker]

Thanks!! he just responded but I’m not really sure what he meant in his response. I’m gonna add a version of what you said while we’re still on the topic that is way more sensitive than my original reply

[Pterodon]

Good luck

[DextroShade]

Most men struggle to get laid: 1 in 3 men are either virgins or haven't had sex in over a year. Tell him this stat, it might make him feel better. There is also video on YouTube that was put out by I think the whatever podcast where they have a woman go around and offer to have sex with random men contrasted with a man going around offering to have sex with random women; the results are as you would expect.

[TallAnon]

I don't think you have to respond to that, it's not a big deal.

[Iron_Man]

That was a mistake to do that.

[Asker]

My original reply was definitely dumb communication mistake, but he replied with a joke too, and then I took the advice from the other comment about feeling flattered and I was glad he felt comfortable with me, he’s not a weird guy, but he is a bit shy typically

[Danny_dan92]

“Nice”

[In_Trance]

Gnarly