Guys, how would you like a woman to offer to split or pay a tab on a date, after you've paid the first?

[StarsInTheEyes]

If you're going to 2 places with a woman, would you pay for both tabs? If a woman offers to split or get the second tab, how would you like her to word her question, so that she wouldn't insult your masculinity?

I feel that it wouldn't be right for a guy to pay for 2 tabs on first date, but I'm not sure how to word my sentence. I don't want to make it like yes I'm definitely paying the second, although I'd be willing to. I still want to make it an offer and the guy can decide.

On first dates, I usually would ask "Should we split?" If a guy and I are going to 2 places on first date, should I just also say "Should we split?" on the second tab?

[zeitgeist057]

First, my masculinity isn't so fragile that a woman has to walk on eggshells to prevent it from getting injured. She can just pay the check without asking me if she wants.

If you're dating someone with a fragile masculinity, it might be good to ask "May I pick up the check this time?" , "Can I treat you?", "Is it okay if we split the check?" or something like that. Depending how much you really genuinely WANT to pay your share or for the whole thing, you can adjust your language.

"I don't want to assume you're paying for me; it's up to you if you want to split the check or not. You tell me, you're the big strong man in control here, I will do whatever you prefer, as the woman in the relationship."

[StarsInTheEyes]

We're not in a relationship. I was referring to dating phase, first or second date.

And I feel that from what I read your example sentence here, if I had to kiss a guy's butt so much to beg him to let me pay, then I feel that his masculinity IS fragile that I would need to prep him first. Wouldn't you think? 🤔

GaG selected HMOs for me, since I missed the timeframe to select them 🤔

[zeitgeist057]

yes, I think if he is threatened or upset by such a simple thing, it's fragility. Especially an act of kindness and generosity, I think it's something to show gratitude for, not anger.

[AviatorTom]

It's not an insult to my masculinity when y date offers to pay. It's very much appreciated, though usually not necessary.

I have never been presumptuous to ask "Shall we split?". The assumption is that I am paying for the date, which is fine, because I'm the one who asked her out. There's an old rule that the host (that includes the person who asked the other person out) pays.

I've been on dates where I paid for everything, and also on dates where she offered to split the tab. They were all nice dates.

[OlderAndWiser]

For my generation, we all assume that the guy pays for everything. When I was dating, I could afford that and I didn't mind, at all. And I NEVER had the expectation that a woman 'owed" me sex because I bought her a meal or a concert ticket.

[Flatmanlewis]

I think as a man, if I take a woman out on a date, I 100% expect to pay for the tab. The extremely pleasant surprise has been towards the end of a date when the girl seems to show interest by extending it, asking if she can take me out and buy me a drink. It’s a positive sign that she’s trying to prolong our time together. Short of that I probably would expect to pay but the way she offers may be as meaningful as anything else.

[Friendlybro79]

I always think it's easier to talk about before you get to the restaurant/wherever you're eating. For ex.

While you're walking to the place say something like, "This is my treat today since you treated me last time." This way it's not awkward when the check comes. I think it's so much easier to set that before you even sit at the table.

[Friendlybro79]

If you say should we split most people are going to say no because it sounds weird to agree to that. Can't speak for most guys, but I would say no it's on me every time to that. So now you know my secret to getting me to pay every time ha

[StarsInTheEyes]

I've been on dates with guys who accepted splitting.

I've been asked to Venmo or Zelle when I kindly declined a guy's suggestion for a second date, even though I did mention splitting when we were on first date and he said it was okay.

So I don't think guys are going to say no to splitting.

[StarsInTheEyes]

And what do you suggest that I say, if I want to at least pay for my part?

[Friendlybro79]

I don't think guys are always going to say no to splitting either. I just say no if I'm asked and I'll pay. That's just me. I'm not everyone and other people will say yes.

If you want to pay for your part just say it. Don't ask. Tell them. When they put their card down out yours down. A logical way to say this is something like

Guy: check please... (Check is dropped by they guy. Guy doesn't ask you to pay and takes physical wallet/digital wallet/cash out)

You: I had a lot of fun. Here. You can pay for me and I'll pay for you thank you. ( Take digital wallet/physical wallet/cash out and put card on the table)

Guy: it's ok id like to pay.

You: That's kind of you. I would like to pay for half thank you for the offer. (Leave form of payment on the table)

[Fireguy17]

I'm fine with that, if that is what makes her comfortable. I'm not going to argue about it.
I will always make the offer to pay, but if that is what she wants to do I'm fine with that.
In the grand scheme of things, 30 years from now it won't make a difference who paid for what.

[FuqUFggt]

I am old fashioned, a man, an older brother, and aggressive. If I asked her out I pay. If she asked me out I pay, I'm she insists on paying I tell her I'll grabe the check amd she can tip. That's life. I'll cover 3/4ths of our life and you can cover the rest tonpretend you cover your weight.

[Chazmatazz269]

The “offer” is nonsense. If you’re going to do something, just do it. Men don’t make a big show of paying the bill. They just grab it and pay it. The show is just part of the game women play.

[TommyMountainFigure]

It's good enough for me the woman offers to pay. I'm happy to pay for both places though.

If she insists I won't get into an argument over it, she can pay if she wants.. I'm always easy going over the whole thing!

[Billlewis]

I insist on paying for every date, every time, all the time, oftentimes even if the date is for and another guy she's seeing, but obviously I'm a little bit different from most people... lol

[itsclearlynicholas]

Lol. Split bills on both dates OR split bills first date, then I pay next date ; then again, depends on daily life and vibes lol.
The downside is the other feels obligated to the other lol 😆

[itsclearlynicholas]

She may even want to pay however : what will I 'feel like' I then owe her? Oh deary dear lol 😆

[JacobJordan]

I expect her to shut up when it comes to pay. If I asked I pay if she asked she pays.