No, I haven't offered on the first date. But it's there in my head, "what do I do? Here comes the bill. How am I supposed to respond?" If there is a second date, I'm a bit more comfortable and would offer. But I haven't had enough dates to completely determine a solution to any of this.
Thanks for the mHo
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Some guys are in highschool or college and don't work. It would be silly to expect them to pay. It is their parents' money. I want a guy for more than just money. Sure, it would be nice if he eorked and wanted to pay. A woman's self care routine is way more expensive than a man's, even if she would do basic stuff, so it would be nice if the man compensated by paying dates more often than her. However, he doesn't owe her anything. Saying that someone shouldn't date because they are broke is shallow. As long as they are working to be better in the future and can sustain themselves what is the problem?
@emmily2396 Slight correction, I did NOT say you shouldn't "date". I said " if the guy can't afford to pay, don't ask her out or accept her invitation", ... to GO out ... "out" in this case meaning going somewhere that costs money. There are plenty of things to do that would be considered a date that don't cost anything at all. But I disagree with you in principle even about guys in school or college. Let's say your parents don't want you to work so you can concentrate on your studies. They're still going to give you some money to live on ,,, X dollars a week. If you ask a girl for coffee that's what, $3.50 to $5.00 ? I would think if you really like her, you can come up another $5. It's the parent's money either way, and you're going to spend $5 no matter what. Not only that, I can imagine the girl being a little impressed if she knows he isn't working but insisted on treating her nonetheless. That's just how I was raised, I suppose. Thanks for your point of view !! :)
@emmily2396 ah girl just cause women spend more money on their beauty routine doesn't mean men should pay more for the dates? Why would that ever be an important factor lol
Damn, can you even read?
"A woman's self care routine is way more expensive than a man's, even if she would do basic stuff, so it would be nice if the man compensated by paying dates more often than her. However, he doesn't owe her anything." Yeah I can definitely read. I can read this silly shit you wrote, like that could literally be said about anything? Say he plays sports? Bought some nice clothes for the date? Went to the gym? These things would cost him money too but he wouldn't expect you to compensate for it when paying for the date lmao
Again, can you even read? I said" it would be nice", not "he has to". I even said he doesn't owe her anything. Learn to read before commenting. You clearly didn't comprehend what I wrote.
Also, women go to the gym too, that argument is invalid, it's not a manly thing. That goes into the self-care cost too.
No I read all of that, and now I ask you; Damn, can you even read? I said why would that ever be an important factor? How you choose to spend your money is upto you and should never come into factor when expecting your date to pay. How you spend your money outside of the date shouldn't then be coming up to pay and him be like "oh shit the makeup she uses is probably really expensive, better pay for the whole dinner!" Like seriously answer the question. WHY WOULD THAT EVER BE AN IMPORTANT FACTOR?
Yeah that's what I was stating. That you could say it about literally anything you spend money on outside of the date.
You still didn't read carefully. If you need someone to argue with why don't you find someone else? You are making things up girl. I never said anything about expecting and obligation, you are inventing stuff. Learn the difference between someone doing a nice unexpected gesture for someone else vs expecting someone to do stuff for you and being mad if they don't, you clearely don't understand the difference.
I am not going to. continue this conversation with you
I never said anything about obligation either. And I wasn't looking to argue with anyone, i was just hoping that you understand when you go on your next date, the guys not going to pay more just because you bought some new makeup lol.
The idea that guys pay for everything is a holdover from when women didn't work and were essentially property
I honestly dont think that at all if your have a girl your basic function as a man is to love your family provide for your family and to protect your family and yes in that order. Why do you even want to take her out let keep it 100 you dont love her when you first meet her your taking her out cause you want to fuck but you dont even want to pay to feed her lol
I think the guy should pay more than the girl. I put the ratio at anywhere from 55-45 to 90-10 on the percentage each party should pay for over the entire relationship. I always ensure I have enough $ when we go out, but she wants to pay sometimes. I don't always let her.
Now I do agree with with that so were definitely on the same page
Same reply unfortunatelyUnless I planned for it I have a very limited budget I guess it also depends where we ate though too
Wow girl okayyyy
I should rephrase. If she asked me out and didn't offer to get the bill it would be a red flag.
are you aspiring for marriage?
@mistixs I don't want legal marriage because I've already experienced the bad effects from divorce, but I would like to have a long term exclusive relationship leading to living together and raising a family/kids. I want to know that the woman is going to contribute to our future family too, not just me.
well from a biblical perspective, the husband is supposed to provide for food (Exodus 21:10). But that doesn't mean that the woman isn't contributing. She contributes in other ways
@mistixs That was in the days when the work force was all men so they had lots of choices/opportunity for employment. And the stress of the whole family being totally dependent on him kills men earlier. Also she had no say in anything either back then.
That's not true. The virtuous woman commended in Prov31 had an income. & Women did have a say. For example, God told Abraham in Genesis 21:12 to listen to whatever Sarah told him.