Women, a guy you agreed to go out with didn't pay for you on a first date. What do you do because of that?

[Anonymous]

Reject

Ghost

Get Upset But Continue to Date 2

No Impact

[Anonymous]

Did he pay for his half tho? If yes then it’s all good. But if he expected me to pay for everything when he was the one who asked me out - yeah I don’t vibe with that, I’ll do 50/50 or I’ll offer to pay for everything if I was the one that sent out the invite to go out.

[Bethany22]

If he doesn't pay on first date, most men I've heard agree you should dump him

[Asker]

Why is that?

[Bethany22]

Because he's not making any effort to impress the girl at all, or find out what it feels like to make her happy

[Asker]

Would you say money is married to that impression/feeling?
Your comment is short, but it gets at the root principle better than I've seen yet. Thank you for your answer!

[Bethany22]

No, of course not. Once you've been going out for a while, you can find out what wholistic things make her happy. Paying for the first date is just a safe first attempt

[Asker]

I think that explains a lot of what I've seen from both polls.
That could also help me understand some things in the future too! thanks

[melanieeeB]

I think I would reject, I'm old school about this and do expect someone who asked me out to pay for the first date, afterwards I don't give a shit but the first date, yeah.

Only once was I out with a guy, we went for a walk and then he said let's get ice cream and he didn't even pay, like a 1€, and I was just thinking If already such a small amount is too much for him, what else... like the fuck... we never talked ever again

[Asker]

What's your philosophy behind that, and what's the "what else" you'd be concerned with?

[Anonymous]

I think first date you should pay honestly. If she expects every date that you pay, that might be a little much but I think you’ll miss out on some quality women if you ask her out and don’t pay esp on the first date but it’s up to what you’re comfortable with. Just talking from experience and most of the women I know are doctors, lawyers, highly educated well off women who can afford it

[Asker]

Why is that?

[Opinion Owner]

Because real gold diggers know how to play guys. They seek out men and know that men especially if they are rich, they will be weary of a woman who doesn’t pay on the first date so they will pay on the first few dates but mooch off of the guy in the long term.

[Opinion Owner]

Would you rather pay for the first date and then everything be mostly equal or not have to pay for the first few dates early on and pay for a Tesla just to have her break up with you a month later after she got what she really wanted?

[Asker]

I imagine the women you know are good people, and not like the gold diggers or mooches.
Where do you think that expectation comes from?

[jini1]

If they don't pay, then it means they're not that interested in you to impress you. Usually if a guy likes you, then they'll pay at least on the first date.

[Asker]

Thanks for the comment!
Have there been experiences in your past, commonalities or exceptions, that have influenced your opinion over time? If your mind was changed, what caused it?

[Jemini_Crocket]

It's about who asks each other out, usually it's men asking women. If a guy would ask me out and then expect me to pay for both of us, I'd be done with him right there.

[Asker]

This is not a root cause. Ask yourself why that is. I'm not saying wrong you're wrong, it just doesn't quite answer the question.

[Jemini_Crocket]

I'd reject him ofc

[Asker]

The goal is to understand why? Is it money?

[mandyfire98]

Literally no impact and I don't expect him to pay at all.

[Asker]

What about those around you or hear from?

[mandyfire98]

None of my friends have ever even really brought it up.

[TacosRAwesome]

Depends on whether he insisted on an expensive place or was happy with a pizza. I'd reject the first one and consider another date with the second.

[Asker]

Has your opinion changed over time to where it is now? If so, what kind of factors were involved?

[TacosRAwesome]

Yes. Had a boyfriend who would always invite me to these dinners with his work buddies and his charity buddies and then ask me to pay for my share when most of the time I would have gone as a favour to him.

[misfittoy]

he just has to worry about his part of the bill, i would be fine with it

[petitedollbabee]

Aslong as he paid for his half of the bill, then I don’t care. I can pay for myself.

[dustybiker]

Nothing should ever be assumed. Clear communication solves many problems.

[AddylynnNightingale]

I wouldn't accept his offer anyway. He doesn't owe me or anything.

[anon1903]

Tell her it upsets you. Fucking communicate.

[babyzraling]

I don't want a guy that easily spends their money on girls / other people especially strangers

[PetiteBabe64]

I'm not Weak I can pay for own food

[whereismyjohnny]

No impact.