In general, I believe that whoever invited the other person out should expect to pay. When I say "expect," I do not mean that that is always what happens, but s/he should be prepared and willing.
Personally, I would certainly try to pick up the entire bill the first time. I suppose it is myself being both comradely and amiable and also merely being self-sufficient (I don't like leaning on people, it makes me uncomfortable), hah.
For a legitimate couple who regularly see each other, I think it is nice to space it-- she pays for an outing, he pays the next, they equally split it, they pay only for their own half... whatever it is they're comfortable with. I also like the idea of one purchasing the dinner and the other covering the activity (if there is one; such as a movie).
I always insist on going dutch. With that I want to show him that I'm a girl who doesn't believe in any of that nonsense that men always have to pay, etc. That I believe in equality, and since women are emancipated today, that also means that we also have to pay and I'm willing to pay. Also shows him that I'm not a gold digger, only in it for the free food/drinks.
If the guy insists, then I'll let him take the bill, but the next one is mine and I won't take no for an answer. Then we'll take turns.
But I never offer to take the entire bill on a first date. 2 reasons: 1) I don't actually have that kind of money (yet)! haha.. 2) I don't want to make the guy feel emasculated or something. I'm not the power-driven woman who likes to take control of everything and show it off.
When I go on a date with a guy (regardless if I like him or not) I always offer to pay at least half of the bill, why? Because I can pay for my own meal, like I didn't go out with you to get a free meal ha ha I go out with you because I wanted to get to know you, and it's not fair that a guy gets stuck with the bill because of the gender roles and stuff. I hate that people assume the guy has to pay for it, like why should they? we both ate and if I'm capable of paying for it, why wouldn't I?
I had that happen to me once. She was one of those modern independent girls. I thought she was doing the whole "'stretch hand towards bill, but not really take it" thing. I then told her to pass me the bill and she was like "No. I got this". Anyway we got into a relationship not soon afterward and when I asked her why she paid she said that she really liked me, was comfortable, loved the place and really enjoyed the date (conversation etc)
What I liked most about it was that she saw it as no big deal. it was unconditional. Bill needed to get settled and she had the funds and wanted to.
I don't make things complicated. I take insistence literally as insistence. If I offer to pay and she insists on paying; that tells me she wants to be courteous and offer a kind gesture by paying. I allow her to be kind and thank her for it.
When a person offers to pay a bill with no intention on paying it and simply wanted to demonstrate a point, that person can(pardon my vulgarity) f*** off. That's incredibly confusing and rude.
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I would a say that a woman who INSISTS on picking up the bill is trying to prove something to the man. Her independence, her dominance, something... I don't know exactly. Maybe she doesn't want to feel indebted to the man. I would also venture to say that she doesn't understand that she has the let the man be a man so that he can feel confident in the relationship. Men are driven to be the provider, take of their women/families, be the man of the house... Paying for the tab with no exceptions is the first snip at removing the guy's balls.
I think it can have multiple meanings:
1) She's just being nice
2) She has no desire to see him again, and doesn't want to give him the wrong idea by allowing him to pay.
3) She's super feminist and doesn't believe in normal gender roles and stuff like that.
Basically, it varies by the girl.
BRO! you are lucky, hey hey ask her if she has friend too. hook me up man. Damn it man, my ex always made me pay her plate, which slightly didn't mind, but at least she could of leave a tip but she never did. OOh but I am 23 -__- damn it, I mean hey ask her if she has co worker hahaha.
BUT bro keep her and she is the one. Is hard to find those type of females that care.
If I was the one who invited him out, that would explain it. It could be I like him a lot and I'm feeling generous. Maybe I want to do it just because I can. There's also a more negative possibility, which is that I don't want a second date and by paying for both of us I wash my hands of everything. So basically, it's inconclusive what I mean by that one gesture. It depends on other things.
I usually pay my own share at the least. Not much to do with whether I like him or not, it's simply the principle of it.
Well, whenever I choose to pick up the tab, it's because I'm trying to show the guy that I am an independent woman who is not going to rely on him for everything. I was taught that it's perfectly acceptable to let the guy pay the bill, but honestly, I don't think that's how it should be every single time just because society says so.
If a girl picks up the entire tab, I would think she was doing so to make an impression. Almost all girls will offer to pick up their half but only some of those are sincere about it.
If a girl strongly suggests that she will pick up her half of the tab on the first date, it can be a bad sign in that she is trying not to feel guilty or bad about never seeing the guy again and using him for a free meal & drinks
D
Agreed it could be any of the other choices as per individuals
but my experience tells me it's more likely to be a combination of these:
1. working gal - I am woman I am strong & independent
2. I will not be obligated to any one, I owe you nothing, esp. on this date, so don't expect me as dessert
3. we are buddies and EQUALS
4. If I like what's going on, I'll pay my share
but this applied to ages 35+
i think it could be a sign she likes him or it could have nothing to do with how she feels but her own personal decision to want to participate in a relationship as a 100% equal.
I always appreciate the offer but hope to at least split the bill on a first date. I would always offer to pay the bill on the first date unless the girl seemed pretty set on paying in which case we'd split or I'd ask her to pay the tip.
If I insist to foot the bill when the guy also insists to pay ,it's because I don't want to have a second date with him and don't want to owe him anything.It has happened to me before because I found out he's engaged on the first date.I don't like to take advantage of people for a free meal even though he likes me.I will feel bad but this is just me.
She may just be doing the check dance with you, and testing you to see if you will actually let her pay the bill. If she is really insistent its probably some feminist complex and you should let her pay then run for the hills. No jk but she is obviously a woman of strong opinion, and then this would be situation answer A.
It means that she is very generous.
It has nothing to do with whether she likes him or not.
I would need more information that is a broad assumption to me
i've never dated but I know that when I do start, I'll offer to pay the bill. Not because I'm a feminist or any of that. But I just don't want him to think he has to pay for all of my things. I was raised to pay for my things and not make anyone pay for my stuff. I kind of get embarrassed when people pay for my things.
I'm really divided, but am leaning towards the C, she's just not into me. That's. the impression that I would get. It really would depend on the tone of her insistence, body language etc but initially no, she's not interested if she's so insistent. The gesture should be accepted.
Well if I pick up the Tab it could mean three things (1)I really don't like the guy and I want to get rid of him, therefore I have no obligation to date him anymore. 2)I am in a good mood and I want to treat him 3) if he picked up the tab before.
-She wants to keep her liberty and choice for the moment: Some guys imagine that because they pay the tab, they're entitled to a physical reward of some kind.
-She has been educated that way. (When I was in HS girls typically got bigger allowances than boys (to keep the girls independent and pure)
-She did it that way with her previous boyfriend.
Oh ... I thought you just meant her share. Perhaps she only had a debit card with her and wanted to make sure the guy didn't feel cheated if she didn't want a second date. I've had dates where I thought I had cash and forgot it, so paid for my half with debit. It's embarrassing!
She is an independent soul, and by paying she feels she owes you nothing.
I have my own cash, I feel bad for him ("omg if he pays for my meal will he be broke?"), I pull my own weight, just trying to be nice, I think to myself "I wonder how many girls have paid for his meal before? None? So then I will", it's nice to do sweet things for others sometimes, I want to throw him a curve-ball, I don't want to seem presumptuous, don't want awkwardness. Some of the reasons I would.
I've actually done that before. One time I did it because I knew the guy had financial problems at that time and I didn't, so I insistedt on paying it all. The other time I remember was simply because I really liked him and felt like it.
Rule of thumb I would say is if she offers, say that's OK, and is she insists, then just take half of the bill.
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