Who should pay the bill on the first date?

[cherriibly]

who should pay the bill on the first date?

[molonski2]

The question from me -- Have I met her previously but not been on a date?

If this is the case , I invited her out , so I should pay , this may well be partly old fashioned , but I would always go to pay the bill , if she absolutely insisted and virtually forced the money onto me , I would take it as a sign that I didn't impress her too much , plus I'm always going to be older , so chances are I'm more equipped to pay.

So , not first date anymore , but one that I see comes and picks me up , I drink alcohol , she does not , so of course I always pay , she lives nearby. In Australia , again always much younger than me , so I'd meet them in the City for first time , and of course Id always pay , I'd look pretty silly if I didn't.

So , with all of the above in mind , I'm going to say the man pays , but I appreciate this is to some degree an outdated view.

[DextroShade]

Here the rules I would go by if I were dating as a single man:

• If she looks different than her picture as in fatter then the date is canceled
• If the date went well, I would want to see her again, and I believed she felt the same way then I am paying
• If I didn't want to see her again for whatever reason then I'm splitting it with her
• If she's on her phone the whole time or I get the impression it's a foodie call then I am sneaking out and leaving her with the entire bill

[Vegasrunner]

@DextroShade These are great points

[DaveJord]

I agree with all of this, but who should pay on the first date?

For me, I always assume I will pay if I ask her out. But at the sametime if the date is going poorly and she offers to split it... then I have no issue with that.

If the date is going great, and she offers to pay... then I say it's not necessary I am having a great time. But after that if she still insists... then that's a RED FLAG to me. It sends a message in way, and that means to me there will not be a second date.

Last week I went on a date, I paid for the meal. But then she said, I want desert would be okay if I pay for a desert and share it with you?

Now I was impressed by that.

[DaveJord]

* dessert

[wolfcat87]

Depends on what someone is looking for. I won't even consider dating a guy who wants me to pay on the first date or suggests one of those cheap cafe dates. Only men who are generous and enjoy sharing catch my attention. The rest get no date at all. Once they win me over I may pay for the occasional date to show I genuinely like them. Why? Because, I enjoy more traditional men who provide and care for their partner more than their self.

[Rei13]

It depends. For me personally the guy should always offer, if he doesn’t that is a strike. If I don’t know if I like him or not, or if I am sure I don’t want to go on a second date I pay for myself. So 50/50. If I like him I might offend 50/50, but ultimately I’d rather he paid for our date. If someone pays for me I feel obligated to them and if I like them it’s fine, if I don’t like them I don’t want to feel that way

[OlderAndWiser]

In my age range, a guy always asks for the date, and the guy always pays for the date. I've never had a girl stay on her phone during the date, and never had a girl who I suspected agreed to the date only so she could get a free meal.

I have had a girl show up and her profile photos looked like they were taken 100 pounds ago. There was just no second date.

[WhereIsMyMind]

The person who sent the invite, otherwise I think it's best to pay 50/50. Although I've heard about people ordering lots of cocktails when the other person doesn't drink, but then they still want to pay halves lol, in that case, pay for your own drinks! 😆

[BoopBoopBeep]

whoever asked the other person. How tacky is it to come up to me and say "Hey want to go to the theater and this expensive restaurant tomorrow?" then expect me to pay take you?

Say you're a gold digger without saying you're a gold digger.

[electromagnetic]

Everyone pays for their own coffee as a first date. It’s always been my thing that way I can run if need be. If the coffee date goes well, I don’t mind paying for the second

[Anonymous]

When I was younger it was the man who paid. But now as things have changed significantly, I think she should contribute to the bill so he doesn’t feel as though she owes him. But at the same time she may not have money, so if he’s ok w that than he could foot the bill.

[ohmyguy]

The guy should... but no first date should be expensive.. it can make u without breaking u..

I'd rather a rejection over false sense of security.. so I prefer to be passed on than to be lead on.

I'm sorry if u lead me on n fake your way through. Then what u ordered is payable by u.

[Guanfei]

Both pay for themselves. That way, if it doesn't work out, no one feels cheated.
And it's 2023, ladies, time to be the independent women you wanted to be.

[cherriibly]

not every woman is a feminist

[Unit1]

Split the bill.

Gold diggers ain't for me.

[cherriibly]

yes I understand, nice

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Whoever planned it, or at least offer to do so in case your date wants some of their own independence to pay for their part

[Billlewis]

The guy, all day every day, no exceptions. Heck, I even try to get her to let me pay for her dates with the other guys she's dating.

[Billlewis]

I just started following you and I'd like to invite you to follow me as well if you want. Thank you very much.

[Sasha0426]

I say you should split the bill in case the guy wants to use you for sex even after insisting he pays the whole bill. It’s the smartest choice. Never believe a guy who insists on paying the bill himself.

[Sasha0426]

Actually, smartest choice is to go Dutch. You never know what a guy will do.

[HelpfulWoman]

split for whatever you consume UNLESS discussed and AGREED BEFOREHAND.

[IslaTheWitch]

I prefer to pay for myself, not to create any impression of obligation.

[Static_In_The_Attic]

If the food is bad I think the restaurant should pay the bill on the first date.

[DeeDeeDeVour]

Who invited?

Otherwise, split it.

[lightbulb27]

I vote for each of your best friends. That way, they are invested in the relationship...

[LiamJHayden]

The first meetup should cost so little that it should not matter, but normally whoever asks should at least offer.

[genericname85]

each their own. cause everyones time is equally valuable and everyone has the same chances to generate their own income.

[genericname85]

by the way: in my opinion, an "invitation to eat together" is not an offer to pay for both meals. the paying of ones meal should only be expected when specifically stated.

[integrale77]

The way I see it when the subject comes up you want to say "how much do i owe" 9 times out of 10 he will probably say he'll pay but the guesture of offering to pay your part will be appreciated.

[HouseMoat]

He ALWAYS pays BUTTTTTTT, she should never EXPECT him to. To show that she doesn't, she should at least reach for it, and then he'll say something like "nope, I got it"