Who should pay on the first date?

[poshspice123]

Me personally I like it if a guy pays at least on the first date…

[Mr_twoface]

So this is the million dollar question everyone has an opinion about. It raises questions about gold diggers, being cheap, equality etc. My personal beliefs is that it depends on two things. One is how the date goes and secondly, what they end up ordering. If it turns out that it's bad and they are not at all compatible, both should share their own part. It's simply fair. If its positive, and you are having a good day, I believe the man should pay on the first date.

Which brings me to the second point, if it's expected that the man should pay for it, the woman should not overspend out of respect. Meaning she can order whatever she wants but not necessarily go for the most expensive item on the menu or order expensive drinks.

I've had my share of experiences where the date either wasn't into me and clearly showed it in her action or in my view just expected any guy to pay for her cause she "obviously deserved it". One girls specifically pointed out, that is how she rolls, that they guy should always pamper and pay for her. That doesn't go down with me because I'm on the date to find someone who I like and who likes me in return - not about my money! Mostly I ended up paying, in two occasions, I ended up leaving before the bill arrived.

[poshspice123]

I agree!!

[DoggyDude]

Who ever has the strongest desire to pay and where the other person on the date doesn't have too big a desire for them not to pay.

I would say personally, guy should be paying. I howeve know some women distrust this so I would try to 'read the room' by telling her 'I'll get this, don't worry' and if she does anything other than smile and say 'Thanks', I'd make sure I added "unless you'd like to?".

[poshspice123]

Yup it puts pressure to put out just because someone bought me some fries or a drink

[poshspice123]

But I also like chivalry with the right guy… reading the room is a good way I agree

[DoggyDude]

Thanks :). Yeah, I definitely can sympathise with that feeling, some guys are creeps and seem to think buying things gives them any kind of right (in the words of Cartman "Screw those guys" lol).

[poshspice123]

Yea with the right guy I think I’d like that I’d owe him and I’d like to end the date with a kiss…

[Summeroflove]

Here is the thing. Nobody is entitled to free shit. If someone’s dating someone and feels entitled to get it for free. You’re not. Sorry.

As far as standards to everyone is different. This is why you date to see who you’re compatible with. If you’re wanting a man who pays on the first date (and any subsequent dates) then only pick guys who are willing to pay. As well as communicate what it is you’re wanting without being entitled.

The problem is so many women are very demanding. But they only want to pick men who have a lot of options. So if a woman is demanding things without giving much in return. Those type of men she wants will typically go for better women.

[Zoeysiren]

There's no one-size-fits-all answer, honey! Traditionally, the person who extends the invite might cover the bill. But these days, it's totally fine to go Dutch or even offer to split it beforehand. The most important thing is to communicate openly and be comfortable. You could even just say, "How do you feel about splitting the bill?" and see what your date says.

[Paul09]

At first I was like whom ever asks who out, pays. Now not so much. How many first dates the the guy have to pay until it's enough? Obviously most women would not ask a guy out, so they will never pay. So that makes no sense to pay. You are both grown adults, both work a d earn money, both trying to get to know eachother and see if you are compatible. So you should both pay for your own things. If it doesn't work out, then it's less of a hassle. But if they other person insists on paying i guess go for it.

[TheorionMage]

When you 'subsidize' a shared experience you are LITERALLY paying for your companion's time and attention. Literally they are setting aside a portion of their life, ... a 'date' to spend time WITH YOU. Your subsidy is literally 'under-writing' that exclusively SHARED experience.

[Anonymous]

Depends. If the lady is traditional w actual traditional values then she should find a traditional man who is more than likely willing to foot the bill. But if you’re a modern lady who makes the same amount t of mo ey or more than he does than maybe you can split the bill. On the other hand if he asked you out, or if she asked him out that person to pick up the bill. Dating can get expensive for the man if it’s taking numerous dates w numerous women to meet the right person.

[wiltingrosepetal]

Depends on how traditional the relationship is. I'm experiencing what that's like right now. He buys me flowers, cooks for me and pays for dates. But if it's a more modern dynamic then yeah, probably split the bill.

[strateguy632]

on the first date both should split the payment evenly just like the future dates.

that is what i do with gals.

women who expect a free meal there is a word for them.

[DrPepper12]

Guy. Therell be time for her to pay later hopefully. Cost of doing business. If she's really insistent on split, fine. It gives you first insight into her values and provides something to talk about.

[bobby_bush_eater]

It should be the man but the women shouldn't be outspoken to the man about it then it does come off entitled. It's like the quiet unspoken expectation.

[RHK36]

Whoever had the idea to go to the date. Women that want a traditional man, but don't act like a traditional woman can miss me. I'm looking for a partner not a dependent.

[Berethor]

Everyone should pay for himself, women have a job, why should a man pay for a stranger?

[Pohjolan]

Whomever invited the other but also gets to choose the place.

[CuriousMufuxka]

Neither. A walk and talk is free of financial worries.

[exitseven]

The person that extends the invitation should pay

[OtterMan68]

yes. You don't invite someone out then tell them to pay up

[BCRanger10]

Whoever asks for it.

[serious_miss419]

Whoever asked the person out.

[Anonymous]

Whoever asked for the date

[OtterMan68]

The person who asked the other person out

[JacobJordan]

Whoever asks.

[itsclearlynicholas]

Split the bill 😔💵