Who should pay on the first date and why?

[BBBorn]

Male

Female

[blank_expression]

I rarely do a corny date if I ever will again since most of the time I am out socializing business lunch, dinner, etc. Similar to getting on plane, I detest both because I do them all the time. It is common practice to pick up the check for a business event, for which one has an expense account, business etiquette, formality. Could you imagine arguing over a check with mega dollars at stake? What about a lifelong partner at stake, potentially?

The date shouldn’t have anything to do with the money, because if it does, stay home. Paying the check has to do with perception of control from the feminist doctrine. Turning the check into a squabble has tuned the date upside down. The original purpose of the date evolved from courting and today women still seek this formality, at least subconsciously, to measure the intentions of the man. The date should have little to do with a full belly and a good wine, but rather the formality and the interaction during exercising formality. If the man e. g. is willing to clean up his act and present a corsage (haha) then maybe he is serious. One of these formalities includes the man picking up the check. Well, this was unacceptable to the feminists because now that action puts the man in charge, perception. Let’s say split, toss-a-coin, who-asked, pre-pay-at-restaurant, have-account, skip-out, or whatever, it doesn’t matter because this has chipped away from the original purpose of the date. As the date has diminished, piece at a time, eventually it has evolved to the pack-like hangouts and has all but killed the concept. Therefore, the bottom line to all this bullshit hereto is if you accept a date then you accept the full formality of it all, otherwise, just go to the feminist derived hangout, bar-one-night-bang, or just move it tonight and play house and see how it goes. Why is this so conflicted and difficult to comprehend?

[HawkPerception]

Pay for your own food. Men and women get equal pay nowadays. It isn't the old days where women only got a fraction of the pay. If it were, it would make sense for the man to pay. But sticking to those traditional standards shows either you don't think for yourself or you don't like the idea of a benefit to your gender (a. k. a. not paying for your own food at a restaurant) being lost.

It's also not cool for a girl to expect the guy to pay for her because she's basically expecting him to pay for her time, implying her time is more valuable than his. You should not apply a different standard to a partner or potential partner as you would to your best friend if you want an equal relationship where both of you are supporting each other.

Unless there is a substantial difference in income and/or the place you were invited to on a date is luxurious, you should always just handle your own bill. It says a lot about the girl if she pays her own bill. She doesn't conform to the bs societal norms.

[Seinna]

A man, because a man should also be the one to ask out on the first date. Then if everything goes well and I'm interested then I ask him out for the second one and I pay. If I'm not interested enough and he asks again... well I might or might not agree depends on how hopeless it is lol

Alternatively he can pay for the date and then I offer to take him for a dessert or a drink after that and this way also treat him for something. I usually buy the food at cinema if someone asks me there and they get the tickets.

Saying that girls take advantage of guys to get a free meal... it's not a free meal. I wouldn't waste my precious time on someone I'm not interested in for a meal. And most girls are not that pathetic, food is not that expensive.

I like it when men pay for dates, especially if it's food - it works in some strange primitive way on my brain that is fooled into thinking that he cares about my wellbeing and I'm more likely to fall for him lol. And I have a great job and can afford food, thanks, but that's just how it works with me.

[Cynicaldreamer]

I'm probably going to be downvoted, but I really don't care; I'm just stating the obvious:
whoever asked out or initiated the date should pay. Yes, even if you're a female.

... and yes, I've paid for dates/outings before anyone says anything. No shame in it either. I work just as hard as the rest of y'all and if I want to take a gentleman I'm interested in out, I will.

In addition, I ALWAYS offer to half or split the cost for a date as well; that's just common courtesy. That way the guy doesn't think I'm just out with him for a free meal, or I don't "owe" him anything for taking me out (y'all know what I'm referring to). Of course most guys being gentlemen will still opt to pay for the first date, and that's fine! But ultimately if I ask him out, or I'm able, I'm still offering to pay: simple as that.

[gymjerk]

So in other words the guy lol
Women don’t ask guys on dates. Like ever.

[Cynicaldreamer]

@gymjerk Oh really? My exes and several guys I've asked out want to have a word with you, LOL
There are assertive women out there that ask out men and have no problem doing so.

The problem is when we do, we're usually seen as "desperate" or guys don't feel the same way. Hence why it's not as common as many people assume. I've asked out guys but guess what? Rejected every time. Now I'm not putting down guys for that either; if they don't consider me attractive, that's their prerogative. But my point is, I don't want to hear guys say women never ask them out, yet when one of us does, we're instantly shot down.

What they need to say is, "Women we're attracted to never ask us out."

[msc545]

@gymjerk Exactly. Women use this little social hack to avoid saying "the guy pays" and then say some shit like "I asked a guy out once and I paid" when they get called on it.

[gymjerk]

I appreciate your assertiveness, but statistically speaking your experience is roughly 0. On the large scale picture, the ratio is likely 99.5% compared to 0.5%. Simply speaking, no, women do not ask out men in significant enough numbers to even show up on a pie chart. Lol
As for rejection; guys POVE being asked out. It hasn’t been seen as desperate since the 1980’s. We freaking live it! A girl with balls is amazing!! But get used to rejection, because that comes with putting yourself out there.

[gymjerk]

Guys LOVE* it.

We love it! *

[nolabels]

@gymjerk
Not so.

[HawkPerception]

@gymjerk I 100% agree with you on all statements

[msc545]

@HawkPerception It is really offensive when women use this excuse and then justify it with bulllshit.

[HawkPerception]

@msc545 I also agree with you

[loveslongnails]

" most guys being gentlemen will still opt to pay for the first date, and that's fine! But ultimately if I ask him out, or I'm able, I'm still offering to pay: simple as that."
That's ok if you offer, but I won't take it even you asked me out. I like my way of getting around that. If it's at a place with wait service, I excuse myself for a bathroom break at some point. I locate my server, give them my credit card, and we're good to go. I tell them to bring the check along with card that's already rung up, and I just sign it and we're off.

[Cynicaldreamer]

@loveslongnails Pfft, sneaky.

In a situation such as that, I'd probably offer to pay for the next date, or offer to buy us some ice cream or dessert after the date. That way he knows: 1) I wasn't just after a free meal and, 2) if I offer to pay the next date, that implies I want to see him again.

[loveslongnails]

I gotta tell you... all this bruhaha seems like overthinking to me, especially over a low-cost date like coffee or ice cream. I blame cheap ass, loser, 21 yr old guys for spreading the idea that "girls just want a free meal and won't put out" ! OR, it's the fault of feminism (here's the equality you wanted) OR its that "gratuitous chivalry" thing.

It has also given women this false sense of security that "if I insist on paying my own way, I won't owe him anything". Uhhh... no, not if he's the kind of guy who thinks you owe him something in the first place !! If you choose "that kind of guy", it doesn't matter who does or doesn't pay - he's going to expect something. I just want to dispel the myth that paying your own way affects the guy's head if he's the wrong guy to begin with. It doesn't - it just makes you "think" it does.

Anyway, I like your style girl. :)

[OlderAndWiser]

I don't know who SHOULD, because that implies that there is a rule somewhere that determines the answer to that question. . . and I don't think such a rule exists. In my generation, a guy pays for a date because that's what we were taught, we all accept that it works that way, it's what we expect on a date, and we never have any confusion or disagreement on the subject.

[coachTanthony]

Probably the 100th time I have posted this video. LOL

https://www.youtube.com/embed/71o3hq6iSPM

[HawkPerception]

Yeah a girl would dislike this lol. Aww she's sad guys are waking up and she has to pay for her own food.

[coachTanthony]

@HawkPerception LOL that could just be a fan of mine.

[undefined-intentions]

Either the person inviting the other on the date, or split it. I kinda think splitting the bill should be the standard, but at the same time I do think that if you're asking someone out to an activity that costs money, it's polite to at least offer to pick up the check. If you're inviting and you're tight on cash, that should probably be mentioned before the date. Gender is less relevant.

[BBBorn]

Thank you for your opinion!!

[oldawg]

That's funny in my day that question would never be asked because the guy always pays and there's nothing wrong with that it's just the way it is. But with that said there are also girls out there that take advantage of that but that doesn't bother me because if you're smart enough he can see right through it because a lot of time you just like their company. But the biggest mistake guys make and I have never done it but it is you expect something in return after you paid for the eveningand I believe if you think like that then you are a loser and 9 times out of 10 you never get anything

[acooke-13]

For me, it depends on the guy. Usually I would offer to pay or split, but if he insisted on paying I would let him, but I would get the next one. However, if that guy gives me bad vibes and is one of those 'men are the better sex and this is why...' then get your wallet out buddy, you got this one. (I think men should do the same if the woman is like that also)

[ChrisMaster69]

A lot depends on where, who choice, incomes.

I've dated a student before on student cash, then taken to a high end Steak Restaurant

no way would I expect her to pay.

however out for coffees, lunch etc, she can cover it or 50/50.

it’s not paying for someone.

if I went to places a student could pay 50/50 for I would be wearing jeans and a t shirt all the time.

I actually like good food at good restaurants.

I am not doing 2 meals for £20

[TheUniqueOne96]

50/50.

I think people often say the guy will pay, simply because 9/10, the guy will ask out anyway.

Have some decency and at least cover your own, don't expect someone to pay for you, because they're the 'man', especially when you don't live up to your own traditional values.

Offering to pay full is perfectly reasonable and in general, nothing should be gender specific, especially people some people are more than happy to come along for a free meal.

[muscularbumblebee]

Personally I would always offer to pay and not just 'oh I could of in a quiet way but offer in a way that shows I mean it, however usually I'd expect (and they do) for the man to pay the first time, then for me to pay on the next date provided it goes well. Chivalry but make it equal I guess

[MindYourEyes]

Both should pay or if it was my idea I would gladly pay for the both of us. But I would NEVER expect my guy to pay for me. If he insisted that’s nice. But hey I have my own money xP were both adults why not

[Daniela1982]

What if he is expecting sex, would you let him pay then?

[MindYourEyes]

@Daniela1982 xD no way haha that’s why I was always up front hey if your lookin for a hook up I ain’t
The right person buddy xD

[Daniela1982]

Nobody. It should be Dutch Treat. That way no one goes out on dates for the sole purpose of getting a free meal. Only scum sucking Ho bags do that.

[herraa]

it really doesn’t matter but y'all should go half because its the first date and you dont wanna seem like there jus there to spend money and have a good time and you wanna show them that you have money because if y'all break up buh y'all end up living together and they lick u out you should have a job with a decent income to be able to live on your own after, so they won't think that when u leave your gonna be stuck always think ahead.!

[PinkMichae]

It has nothing to do with male or female. It's whoever asked for the date. You're inviting someone out with plans you are making so you pay. Whether it's the girl or guy.

[Omario2049]

For the purpose of Power, the man should pay. However said man should also exercise due diligence to understand that this is an interview, he is not entitled to the outcome he desires and should keep the cost at a minimum that he is comfortable loosing. A 1st date with a stranger should NEVER exceed a few drinks in my opinion. If u can't afford to pay for a first date u shouldn't even be dating to begin with. Don't put the horse before the cart.

[TheorionMage]

"WHO PAYS" is historically incumbent upon whom is asking for some portion of YOUR life's time and 'companionship' in whatever capacity.
... Especially in these days of feminist 'equality'.

[RetroAlpha]

Whomever asked the other out should pay. I don't invite people to my house and them make them host me, ya know? If a woman asks me out, I assume she has a place in mind and is interested in showing me a good time. The inverse is also true.

[Anonymous]

Only gold diggers and prostitutes want to be paid for showing up.
Nowadays people make a deal breaking matter about paying rather than simply going out and getting to know each other without having to involve expenses. These types don't want love or relationships, they want casual flings with the benefit of getting something out from the other. Say goodbye to real love.

[Aethereal]

I voted Male, but only because it's usually the man who does the asking out. I believe the person who asked for the date should pay. So if the woman did the asking, she should pay.

[tupacs_only_wife]

It depends on who asked who out. If its the lady that asked for a date then she is the one who is supposed to be treating her partner and vice versa if its the guy

[WowwGirl]

@Uptowngirl88 😂 see

The man dear, but apparently you pick who that is.

I would pay for a hooker if I wanted to pay for a man because at least he would leave when I wanted and not bother me later

[Uptowngirl88]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[TomGarand]

Why's it important that the man pays? Is this about him being the provider?

[Uptowngirl88]

@TomGarand yes and men get paid more than women

[WowwGirl]

@TomGarand yuppp

[Bee-Hatch]

Split the bill 50/50. I'm not there to be bought and paid for.