Who should pay on the first date and why?

Question

blank_expression · Accepted Answer

I rarely do a corny date if I ever will again since most of the time I am out socializing business lunch, dinner, etc. Similar to getting on plane, I detest both because I do them all the time. It is common practice to pick up the check for a business event, for which one has an expense account, business etiquette, formality. Could you imagine arguing over a check with mega dollars at stake? What about a lifelong partner at stake, potentially?

The date shouldn’t have anything to do with the money, because if it does, stay home. Paying the check has to do with perception of control from the feminist doctrine. Turning the check into a squabble has tuned the date upside down. The original purpose of the date evolved from courting and today women still seek this formality, at least subconsciously, to measure the intentions of the man. The date should have little to do with a full belly and a good wine, but rather the formality and the interaction during exercising formality. If the man e. g. is willing to clean up his act and present a corsage (haha) then maybe he is serious. One of these formalities includes the man picking up the check. Well, this was unacceptable to the feminists because now that action puts the man in charge, perception. Let’s say split, toss-a-coin, who-asked, pre-pay-at-restaurant, have-account, skip-out, or whatever, it doesn’t matter because this has chipped away from the original purpose of the date. As the date has diminished, piece at a time, eventually it has evolved to the pack-like hangouts and has all but killed the concept. Therefore, the bottom line to all this bullshit hereto is if you accept a date then you accept the full formality of it all, otherwise, just go to the feminist derived hangout, bar-one-night-bang, or just move it tonight and play house and see how it goes. Why is this so conflicted and difficult to comprehend?

HawkPerception · Accepted Answer

Pay for your own food. Men and women get equal pay nowadays. It isn't the old days where women only got a fraction of the pay. If it were, it would make sense for the man to pay. But sticking to those traditional standards shows either you don't think for yourself or you don't like the idea of a benefit to your gender (a. k. a. not paying for your own food at a restaurant) being lost.

It's also not cool for a girl to expect the guy to pay for her because she's basically expecting him to pay for her time, implying her time is more valuable than his. You should not apply a different standard to a partner or potential partner as you would to your best friend if you want an equal relationship where both of you are supporting each other.

Unless there is a substantial difference in income and/or the place you were invited to on a date is luxurious, you should always just handle your own bill. It says a lot about the girl if she pays her own bill. She doesn't conform to the bs societal norms.

Seinna · Accepted Answer

A man, because a man should also be the one to ask out on the first date. Then if everything goes well and I'm interested then I ask him out for the second one and I pay. If I'm not interested enough and he asks again... well I might or might not agree depends on how hopeless it is lol

Alternatively he can pay for the date and then I offer to take him for a dessert or a drink after that and this way also treat him for something. I usually buy the food at cinema if someone asks me there and they get the tickets.

Saying that girls take advantage of guys to get a free meal... it's not a free meal. I wouldn't waste my precious time on someone I'm not interested in for a meal. And most girls are not that pathetic, food is not that expensive.

I like it when men pay for dates, especially if it's food - it works in some strange primitive way on my brain that is fooled into thinking that he cares about my wellbeing and I'm more likely to fall for him lol. And I have a great job and can afford food, thanks, but that's just how it works with me.

Cynicaldreamer · Accepted Answer

I'm probably going to be downvoted, but I really don't care; I'm just stating the obvious:
whoever asked out or initiated the date should pay. Yes, even if you're a female.

... and yes, I've paid for dates/outings before anyone says anything. No shame in it either. I work just as hard as the rest of y'all and if I want to take a gentleman I'm interested in out, I will.

In addition, I ALWAYS offer to half or split the cost for a date as well; that's just common courtesy. That way the guy doesn't think I'm just out with him for a free meal, or I don't "owe" him anything for taking me out (y'all know what I'm referring to). Of course most guys being gentlemen will still opt to pay for the first date, and that's fine! But ultimately if I ask him out, or I'm able, I'm still offering to pay: simple as that.

coachTanthony · Answer

Probably the 100th time I have posted this video. LOL

OlderAndWiser · Answer

I don't know who SHOULD, because that implies that there is a rule somewhere that determines the answer to that question. . . and I don't think such a rule exists. In my generation, a guy pays for a date because that's what we were taught, we all accept that it works that way, it's what we expect on a date, and we never have any confusion or disagreement on the subject.

undefined-intentions · Answer

Either the person inviting the other on the date, or split it. I kinda think splitting the bill should be the standard, but at the same time I do think that if you're asking someone out to an activity that costs money, it's polite to at least offer to pick up the check. If you're inviting and you're tight on cash, that should probably be mentioned before the date. Gender is less relevant.

oldawg · Answer

That's funny in my day that question would never be asked because the guy always pays and there's nothing wrong with that it's just the way it is. But with that said there are also girls out there that take advantage of that but that doesn't bother me because if you're smart enough he can see right through it because a lot of time you just like their company. But the biggest mistake guys make and I have never done it but it is you expect something in return after you paid for the eveningand I believe if you think like that then you are a loser and 9 times out of 10 you never get anything

acooke-13 · Answer

For me, it depends on the guy. Usually I would offer to pay or split, but if he insisted on paying I would let him, but I would get the next one. However, if that guy gives me bad vibes and is one of those 'men are the better sex and this is why...' then get your wallet out buddy, you got this one. (I think men should do the same if the woman is like that also)

ChrisMaster69 · Answer

A lot depends on where, who choice, incomes.

I've dated a student before on student cash, then taken to a high end Steak Restaurant

no way would I expect her to pay.

however out for coffees, lunch etc, she can cover it or 50/50.

it’s not paying for someone.

if I went to places a student could pay 50/50 for I would be wearing jeans and a t shirt all the time.

I actually like good food at good restaurants.

I am not doing 2 meals for £20

TheUniqueOne96 · Answer

50/50.

I think people often say the guy will pay, simply because 9/10, the guy will ask out anyway.

Have some decency and at least cover your own, don't expect someone to pay for you, because they're the 'man', especially when you don't live up to your own traditional values.

Offering to pay full is perfectly reasonable and in general, nothing should be gender specific, especially people some people are more than happy to come along for a free meal.

muscularbumblebee · Answer

Personally I would always offer to pay and not just 'oh I could of in a quiet way but offer in a way that shows I mean it, however usually I'd expect (and they do) for the man to pay the first time, then for me to pay on the next date provided it goes well. Chivalry but make it equal I guess

MindYourEyes · Answer

Both should pay or if it was my idea I would gladly pay for the both of us. But I would NEVER expect my guy to pay for me. If he insisted that’s nice. But hey I have my own money xP were both adults why not

Daniela1982 · Answer

Nobody. It should be Dutch Treat. That way no one goes out on dates for the sole purpose of getting a free meal. Only scum sucking Ho bags do that.

herraa · Answer

it really doesn’t matter but y'all should go half because its the first date and you dont wanna seem like there jus there to spend money and have a good time and you wanna show them that you have money because if y'all break up buh y'all end up living together and they lick u out you should have a job with a decent income to be able to live on your own after, so they won't think that when u leave your gonna be stuck always think ahead.!

PinkMichae · Answer

It has nothing to do with male or female. It's whoever asked for the date. You're inviting someone out with plans you are making so you pay. Whether it's the girl or guy.

Omario2049 · Answer

For the purpose of Power, the man should pay. However said man should also exercise due diligence to understand that this is an interview, he is not entitled to the outcome he desires and should keep the cost at a minimum that he is comfortable loosing. A 1st date with a stranger should NEVER exceed a few drinks in my opinion. If u can't afford to pay for a first date u shouldn't even be dating to begin with. Don't put the horse before the cart.

TheorionMage · Answer

"WHO PAYS" is historically incumbent upon whom is asking for some portion of YOUR life's time and 'companionship' in whatever capacity. ... Especially in these days of feminist 'equality'.

RetroAlpha · Answer

Whomever asked the other out should pay. I don't invite people to my house and them make them host me, ya know? If a woman asks me out, I assume she has a place in mind and is interested in showing me a good time. The inverse is also true.

Anonymous · Answer

Only gold diggers and prostitutes want to be paid for showing up.
Nowadays people make a deal breaking matter about paying rather than simply going out and getting to know each other without having to involve expenses. These types don't want love or relationships, they want casual flings with the benefit of getting something out from the other. Say goodbye to real love.

Who should pay on the first date and why?

Дерйа · Answer

I think it really depends, I wouldn't do 50/50. If I invited him, I will also pay for it but when I got invited then on contrary. Afterwards, I'd offer some coffee for us both

Aethereal · Answer

I voted Male, but only because it's usually the man who does the asking out. I believe the person who asked for the date should pay. So if the woman did the asking, she should pay.

tupacs_only_wife · Answer

It depends on who asked who out. If its the lady that asked for a date then she is the one who is supposed to be treating her partner and vice versa if its the guy

WowwGirl · Answer

@uptowngirl88 😂 see The man dear, but apparently you pick who that is. I would pay for a hooker if I wanted to pay for a man because at least he would leave when I wanted and not bother me later

Bee-Hatch · Answer

Split the bill 50/50. I'm not there to be bought and paid for.

Aimée__LJ · Answer

Both. Split the bill pay for yourself, pay for eachother, go 50/50.

Anonymous · Answer

The one who invites pays! If she invites you, she pays. If he invites you, he pays. Simple!

invalid1 · Answer

Both of them... If someone is less able financially, the other should pay. That would work well whether or not the relationship will continue.  So I didn't vote.

WA786K · Answer

I guess all us men know about this one. Best advice split the check keep both genders even on this one times have changed.

ShineDJJ · Answer

Whoever asked the other person should pay. The askeris the one who made the offer to take the other person somewhere and/or set something up. It makes sense for it to be their responsibility to foot the bill.

SmokinAces2000 · Answer

Both parties should split the bill because I think that’s fair for a first date, if we go on a second date I’ll most likely pay

Ninjazzed · Answer

If you wanna be called a man, you must be the one to initiate the first move and be polite enough to pay on the first date.

Rawr2021 · Answer

Both parties should pay for themselves! Too many people take advantage of others. Been there done that and got the T shirt.

VanillaSalt · Answer

50/50. You show me your invested and I’ll outinvest you. But until you prove you have skin in the game I’m not biting.

RingOfFire · Answer

I pay for EVERY date unless she really wants to for some special occasion like my birthday. Men are the providers. It is a turnoff to real women when they have to pay.

TurkishGirl_ · Answer

I think 50/50 is ideal, but unfortunately the men of my country always want to pay and it is difficult to persuade them.

Minahh · Answer

Call me old-fashioned but I think man is the one who should pay on the first date. Simply because it shows that he is a gentleman plus woman needs more money to make herself presentable.

ItsLynn · Answer

Who ever asked to go on the date should pay for it.

AcadiaJ · Answer

he is suppose to show how much he values being with her.

Furuok · Answer

Showing stability and effort. If things work out she will be a bearer and comforter for years to come.
If you smash and grab it. An she has your child. Possibly paying for the next eighteen years away. What's a dinner bro? Bro?

katiesmuff · Answer

I'm still old fashioned here and it should be the guy!

douride2 · Answer

in my opinion it should be the person doing the asking should pay. I know I have payed when I did the asking out.

Ninani · Answer

Either the one who asked the other out or the one with more money.

MysteriousDarkness · Answer

If a woman expects a guy to pay she is saying her time is more valuable than his. Why should I believe you would help out down the road if you won't at least pay for yourself on a first.

wearehere2002 · Answer

the only reason i say male is cuase it is usually the guy that asks the girl out for a date but if the girl asked the guy out for a date then she should pay

TessCasie · Answer

I didn’t select any options. Cause I always offer to pay.

crazy8000 · Answer

Each person pays for themselves. If a female expert him to. it only shows unable to support for herself or a parasitic personality.

Anonymous · Answer

Either party who offered to pay or split expenses. No high expectations.

PinkHamster · Answer

What matters is if you had good time or not. Money isn’t a big deal in the end ✨💕

Ally1122 · Answer

Personally I think it should be you both pay for your own meals to begin with. I mean yes they may have asked you out. But when you pay for your own meals it's not as tho you owe the other person back in some way.

humanearth · Answer

Who ever ask the other person out. Girl ask guy out she pays, guy ask girl out he pays

exitseven · Answer

I think that whoever invites the other on the date should pay.

Talea · Answer

Whomever asked out the other should pay - YOU invite someone out, YOU pay. However, everyone should always offer to pay for themselves anyway.

jamiematt · Answer

If the woman plans to never meet again, then she should have the decency to pay half. Otherwise, I personally wouldn't mind paying the complete bill.

Anonymous · Answer

If you both agree to go on a date I think both should pay 50-50 each.. you can't expect men to pay for everything when you as a woman wanted a date too..

LivingExample · Answer

Male if he did the asking or Female if she did the asking!

Nazgol · Answer

Men. Because it's more traditional & societal expected

KrakenAttackin · Answer

I have always laid on the first date but I refuse to be a "foodie call", so I only take her for coffee.

ItsMeItsMe1989 · Answer

Guy always pays for dates BUT, women should OFFER to pay. That way it doesn't make them look like money seeking whores

Anonymous · Answer

Men just because it’s the tradition and what’s expected of them.

AlongCameCindy · Answer

High quality men, have no issue in paying for a first date.

blondfrog · Answer

The waiter or waitress of course. You two are so special.

MountAverage · Answer

Why do you only have these two options? Ridiculous.

Joshua0213 · Answer

Well for a first date I want to pay but after that 50/50 is preferable

Who should pay on the first date and why?

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