If you make fun of a guy for being a virgin, are you being serious about it?

[Anonymous]

A girl I know made several insensitive comments about me being a virgin. We were talking about dating apps because she just started using one and asked if I also used one as well. After talking for a while I shared that I have never dated or had sex despite being 25. She said things like "how did you go this long without getting laid?" And "that's a red flag" when I told her that I haven't had a girlfriend yet. Then when she asked me why, I just told her that I'm unlucky and haven't found someone to date. She replies with "that doesn't happen because you're unlucky" and then goes on to suggest terrible things about me (she was clearly hinting at me being incel). I blocked her because I didn't want to deal with it, and now she texted me from a different number ane said "sorry I got carried away please unblock me." Why does she even bother asking me to unblock her? In my mind, you don't say things like this because you got "carried away." People say these things when they look down on other people and want to hurt them. I didn't do anything that should have warranted a negative reaction like this. Do you think she is genuinely sorry or is she just playing with me?

[Anonymous]

One thing I will never twig with is why is being a virgin a bad thing?

This was perhaps a thing that came out of the first and second sexual revolutions in the mid-late 1960s and 1980s. It's function to shame someone for not engaging in casual sex, pre-marital sex, or rejecting sexual advances. Also read that it was used as an insult in that era to imply that someone was 'gay', i. e. for not sleeping with a woman, or turning her offer/sexual intentions down. Which is and was down right homophobic and discriminatory. This spread to mainstream media (movies and tv), then to popular culture and now plagues daily life. Increasingly among young adults and adolescents.
However using virgin as a derogatory title has always existed. Victorian culture used virgin shaming as a tactic of pressuring people to get married and have children. Thereby in retrospect it's always been an 'insult.'

Virginity is a positive thing. Many guys and girls remain virgins until they get into an actual real, loving and long term relationship.

You are also not an incel. Most incels believe themselves unworthy or unattractive enough to attract women. Many also harbor hostile/aggressive views and attitudes towards women and other men who are sexually active. That woman has no idea what she's talking about. Pay her no attention and don't take her scorn to heart.

Ignore people like this, there is nothing wrong with you. They also probably have no idea what they're going on about.

Congratulations to you for wanting to save yourself for someone special.

[Berethor]

She was virgin-shaming you, she is likely a slut, so it make sense to block her.

https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/VirginShaming

[Tomtom9494]

Yes, however despite myself being a virgin nobody ever has mocked me for it. As nobody is interested enough in me to want a relationship or sex that they would find it hilarious or disappointing that I was. Seems she either thinks low of you or she likes you and is teasing you for being untouched

[Anonymous]

Yah man didn't you know. Being an incel is literally worse than being hitler.

[Anonymous]

Ignore her there's nothing wrong with you

[moviedude714]

She's a bitch, stay away from people like her