Why do men I like don’t like me back and vice versa?

[alexduriva]

I'm attracted to very few men during whole life. I'm 22, very pretty, a lot of men approach me almost every week in subway, on streets, malls, etc., but I don't like them. Why do rare men I like don't like me back or can't be with me? Am I cursed or don''t deserve any minor effort to overcome obstacle and be together? I tried to make first moves and asked one man to have a coffee, ofc unsuccesfully.
Disclaimer: I don't go for billionaires, super hot men, I have no physical appearance type. I only want kind and caring person with mutual attraction. What should I do? What's wrong with me?

[abc3643]

You have Beautiful Girl Syndrome Type 2.
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She suffers from Beautiful Girl Syndrome Type 2 / Beautiful Girl Syndrome Type II.

If you Google "Beautiful Girl Syndrome", that's basically saying that beautiful girls can be bitchier and high maintenance because guys are willing to put up with more because she is so beautiful. Guys won't put up with so much shit and work if the girl isn't so attractive.

"Beautiful Girl Syndrome Type II" is a phrase I coined, but it's a real thing I discovered not quite 40 years ago. This will take some time to explain...

All guys need to feel that they can "win". They view things something like a competition in which there is some goal that they want to achieve. If a guy wants something and he believes that there is SOME possibility that he may get it, he will get emotionally involved. If he begins to believe that he won't get that, then he begins to withdraw and get emotionally detached. However, sometimes a guy doesn't even think he has a chance, so he doesn't bother...

And this is where "Beautiful Girl Syndrome Type II" comes in. If a girl is really beautiful, a regular guy thinks:
1. There are a zillion other guys who want her.
2. She almost certainly already has a boyfriend.
3. There is no way she'd be attracted to me; I am not anything special.
4. If she did date me, she'd dump me for some better looking guy who will hit on her and there definitely will be such a guy.
5. She's going to be bitchy and high maintenance. (In other words, he's thinking she suffers from normal Beautiful Girl Syndrome.)

So, he basically thinks that
1) he doesn't have a chance to get her,
2) if he did, he'll lose her, and
3) she's going to be a lot of work.

Because oceans of guys think like this - the only exception being the hunky guys - the beautiful girl either can't find a guy or goes with dickhead hunky guys (who suffer from Beautiful Guy Syndrome). Of course, the regular guys see the beauties with the hunky guys and that just reinforces their belief that they don't have a chance...

Oh, and one more thing: Since the beautiful girls can get guys, they are getting laid... So, any new boyfriend has to "compete" against all of her past lovers and many guys don't think they are going to "measure up" (if you know what I mean) compared to those past hunky guys.

She needs make it known she is available or be proactive and hit on men she wants instead of waiting for them to hit on her. A beautiful girl being proactive removes doubts males have regarding Beautiful Girl Syndrome Type 2.

[alexduriva]

I see your point, I think it’s the reason. I do see how many guys think I’m already taken and it stops them. And I started to make first moves, asked a man to have a coffee recently. It was my very first move and it really changes the way I think from now. Unfortunately the man declined because he was a doctor (or has a girlfriend he told me to soften the rejection), I was his patient.
I will take more steps towards men I like and find kind, the hard is to find this type of guy.. Thank you for your answer

[abc3643]

Good luck, young lady!
You can always PM me if you need more help.

[Rockstarrrrr]

If you don't get approached by the more attractive guys that means you're actually not that pretty... if you were, they would be already hitting on you... Or you wouldn't be rejected when you make the first move like you said...

[Berethor]

All love is unrequited trope, mutual attraction can be hard to find, happen to many people.

[alexduriva]

So what should I do to change the situation?

[Berethor]

You already tried to make first move, so hope for a better luck or lower your standards.

[boggboss]

Same reason there would be guys that like you that you are not attracted too

[CharlieDMX]

It's life. You need to see what the guys you like have in common, and try to look for something different

[Anonymous]

I guess you just aren’t their type?