What should I have done?

[Anonymous]

Went on a date with this guy and he ordered my food. I specifically stated that I didn't eat certain meats and he said okay. But he preceded to order it with my food anyway. Just before it got to the table he goes "I ordered yours with meat in it" I thought he was joking but he actually did. I didn't really know what to say because he paid for it but I don't eat that. He told me he thought it would be on the side so that's why he ordered it like that. Afterwards he said he was really sorry but I feel like he was more sorry that I made him eat it. I didn't really want to made a scene or be ungrateful but still.

[Part2603]

You could have roasted him right there on the spot.

Instead you sort of played it safe, you didn't want to make him feel bad, (which is nice I guess) and you didn't want to derail the date.

That's nice, and I guess that it's cool that you made the best of it, but it's totally cool to not be afraid to shatter the expectations and dynamics.

When I go on a date, I want to be real, not fake.

Which is ironic because I might be 100% fake at this point. Maybe "rehearsed" is a better word.

ANYWAY!

Point is if you said something like, "WTF? Now what am I supposed to eat? Why are you such a spaz? Why can you just chill out and we can have a good time and get to know each other?" that could have been a cute way to forgive his faux pas, and get to the meat and potatoes of the date (see what I did there?) which is the actual interpersonal exchange.

[Asker]

lol maybe

[Decoded93]

So it's all about respect and communication, those are the building blocks of a relationship

He doesn't respect your wishes and he doesn't listen to you

If you're asking about it then it means something bothered you about it, and I agree with your intuition that something is wrong here

There are plenty of men out there who would love to take you out for a date, perhaps you should choose one of them instead of this guy

[Asker]

Well I don't know if I should have made a bigger deal about it or not. He admitted to ordering it like that on purpose and that was in my opinion wrong like what point was he trying to make yk. But at the same time I didn't want to embarrass him and make him feel bad especially where he paid for my meal.

[Thepumpkinhead]

He must've respected your decision. There must be a reason why you don't eat it and he didn't take that into consideration.

First dates are crucial because that's where the first impressions are, and that first impression is something that you can remember for the rest of your lives.

For sure, first impression was ruined by him

[Asker]

I feel like if he actually respected my decision he would have never ordered it in the first place. I don't know

[Kori1236]

Sounds like he has control issues. Why did he order for you? And why did he order what you didn’t want. I personally would have left the date after that because to me that shows that he doesn’t respect me

[Asker]

He asked what I wanted and then went up to the window to order no real reason other than... I think he was trying to be a gentlemen?

[Kori1236]

I get it if it was a food truck or something like that, but the fact that he still ordered something with meats you don’t eat says to me that it’s a disrespect thing. It could’ve been a mistake but if you’d been allergic to something in the food how would he feel?

[Asker]

I should have pretended to almost pass out

[Coyote12]

Give him a 2nd date. If there are any red flags go with your gut and don't go with him anymore. The guy was just trying to help and be a gentleman. Yea the first date wasn't exactly great but who knows, the 2nd date might be better.

[Asker]

sounds like a plan

[AydenHazor]

Why did he order your food to begin with? Also, you never order something you know the other person won't eat for them, even on the side

[Asker]

Because he asked what I wanted and then he went up to the window to order it

[AydenHazor]

So he very intentionally ordered it wrong, doesn't sound like a great guy

[Asker]

Yes and he admitted to it

[AydenHazor]

You were right in giving him a hard time for it, I hope there are no follow up dates after he pulled that

[Jamie05rhs]

Don't let a man order your food. You are a sovereign autonomous being. He is not your parent.

[Asker]

once and never again

[Jamie05rhs]

👏👍✊

[slatyb]

That's really weird. I would have been tempted to say "I don't think this is going to work" and left. You can do that.

[Asker]

yeah

[Anonymous]

I sense he has control issues, so be careful about giving him second date.

[Asker]

With food?

[Opinion Owner]

Just in general.

[Asker]

Gotcha

[ChillaxingLove]

You were in the right he just didn’t listen, and put you in an awkward position.

[boggboss]

Seems like u did the fair thing

[itsalyssaagain]

Don’t go on a date with him again.

[jimmy2]

Oh no he should be more cioncerater to you

[Dav1dTh0ma389]

But you did

[Asker]

I did what?

[Dav1dTh0ma389]

Not like it matters now, you didn't pick me as MHO, right? Why should I explain myself

[Asker]

salty much. I didn't pick you cause I didn't understand. If you explained yourself maybe I would have.