Would it bother you if your friend started dating your ex?

Question

Before I broke up with my ex, I would always invite one of my friends to hang out with us. She’s been to his house multiple times with me there and during this time my other friend tried to say that they probably wanted eachother or she wanted him… never bothered my because I trusted them. After we broke up even my mom started to say that they’d probably together or my friend would try to make a move on him. I don't know. She even sent me a screenshot of when he started following her on Instagram thinking I’d be bothered by it. I honestly don’t think I’d be bothered by them dating…. I would be concerned for her safety considering what he did to me.

TruthBringer · Accepted Answer

I'm going to play the devil's advocate here:  I would most likely stop being friends with that 'friend'.  If a friend of mine dates my ex, then I will consider that a red flag to his loyalty. Especially knowing that the relationship used to mean something to me and had caused me great suffering (and that friend knowing this very well). Out of all the people in the world, they choose someone who is an ex of their friend? It has less to do with "not being over the ex" and more to do with breaking unwritten rules within friendships.  Not only that, it is a sure way to keep the ex indirectly in your life. Anything you tell that friend will most definitely reach the ex. I am not going to deal with that BS. The friends I keep around me are the people who would stand by my side and would have nothing to do with others who have wronged me. Whether it is recently or in the past.  I have no say in other people's private love-lives, but I do have a say in who I consider to be a friend in my life. So I would say: Go ahead and date my ex, but know very well you've lost me as a friend.

Guy13 · Accepted Answer

The prospect of my friend either dating or sleeping my EX does no bother me as it takes much for me to quit a relationship.

I am one of those so when I'm done, I am really done with no attachment at all. And, "you know the deal and if you want to be part of her circus act, then go for it... maybe just sleep with it...1am Friday or Saturday drop by-she's all yours!!"

ShellyB · Accepted Answer

Well just pretending I am talking about a generic ex, no I would not like it, I might not be able to hang out w that friend as much due to awkwardness or any weird leftover feelings.

In my case with specific people, first of all I don't have any exes more recent than 4 years ago, but second, some of my exes (2 out of 3) did stuff I consider really bad, I would not be in the same place as them deliberately, I would not be friendly to them, and I would worry they would mistreat my friend, so even moreso no I would not want them to date.

Sorrento-Sun · Accepted Answer

Yes. But not because I still have feelings for him. He was abusive towards , so I eventually severed all ties with him. If my friend dated him, he would be back in my life in an indirect way

Plus, my friends know what he put me through. So if one of them dated him, I'd question their sanity.

DaveJord · Answer

Nope not at all... this has happened to me, and it did not bother me at all. I wished them good luck and the best. Of course, I told my friend to get on it and enjoy it for as long as it lasted, because chances are it would only take a few weeks for crazy to come out... but the pussy was good.

Anonymous · Answer

Her safety? Good, it’s an act of kind. Also If we pour gas on a small match stick it will burn.

No man or woman is going to be perfect. People get along with others, people change, times will change. What didn’t work for you might work for others, may be your friend. What works for you might not work for others.

You clearly know he is not for you, it don’t mean he is not for anyone. So is she.

Can you guarantee that she or he won’t get hurt if they go to someone else?

NathanDavis · Answer

if it is my best and close friend dated my ex... it would be weird because I know all of them so well

I doubt it could ever happen, but I would not let it bother me

now, if they were someone of my other not so close friends or acquaintances, then... not my business

however, if there's something bad that I do not approve of... I am sure going to have a word with them, lmao

DizzyDesii · Answer

Yes but im used to it. Thats why i dont do friends anymore because they dont behave like friends

AdithyaR · Answer

Depends on how things ended with my ex. If it's amicable I'd be fine but if it was something like her cheating on me or some major betrayal, I'm gonna be uncomfortable with my friend dating her. I wouldn't stop my friend of course but I'd definitely distance myself.
Plus even in the amicable situation, i wouldn't want to know any details or updates about their relationship.

FilmGuy93 · Answer

I don't know about it "bothering" me, so much as wondering how he didn't learn from any of watching me interact with her.

Twalli · Answer

I think it would largely depend on when we broke up. If it's been a while and the "wound" is healed, I wouldn't mind. If it was really soon, I would think the breakup had something to do with my friend hitting on her while she was dating me.

OddBeMe · Answer

Seems like a talk would need to take place. Depending how context of the breakup. I’ve had it happen once and they both talked to me nicely before anything happened.

At least they said nothing happened. Did something happen? (Grabs knife) gotta go.

Weapon77 · Answer

It depends on how close I was with my friend and how my relationshio with mt girlfriend ended. But more than likely I'd hate it and have to stop interacting with my friend. Major bro-code violation.

Anonymous · Answer

She won’t be my friend anymore
I’m not against love but I don’t know what disguises me about it I can't pin point it
I feel like that’s why dictionary provides a word pronounced as - ethical.. there is a reason why such word exists

Anonymous · Answer

I think that breaks the girl code unless the 3 of you have been bestfriends/ closefriends and have has a history of liking that same guy.

If its just a friend its chill. Everyone can be easily called friend.

Msputiton · Answer

It would depend.  Probably at first but if they seem to really be meant to be, i would be good wit it.

Phoenix98 · Answer

I’d advise him against it for the sake of his sanity and happiness. But other then that I don’t care.

blueonblack22 · Answer

If it was a close friend it would definitely bother me.

SnowedIn · Answer

Other than what you mention about safety, no. If they want to date, go for it.

Peachbae · Answer

I woukd feel disgusted 🤭😂. I don't know i would feel like my friend isn’t being a genuine friend honestly, there’s just something about girl code, we don’t date each other’s ex’s🤷🏼‍♀️

sheenagwapa · Answer

since you are the one who broke up with your ex then i think it's fine if they would date

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

Nope, would not bother me.

Anonymous · Answer

Nahhh, But he would have to understand that I don't want to hang out with him and my ex. They're definitely wouldn't be double dates going on

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

I honestly wouldn't care when I'm done I'm done. And if she's stupid enough to get with him after what he did to you then she'll be getting exactly what she deserves for being so grimey

churbleburble78 · Answer

Yes, it breaks the code - you don't date each other's ex or sister

alcorriher · Answer

Depends on if my ex and i ended things on good terms or not

msc545 · Answer

If my friend started dating my ex, I would be very worried for his safety. She is dangerous as hell.

panerabricks · Answer

If they were toxic then it would bother me a lot.

Hardworkingguy · Answer

I really wouldn't care if that happened I would just wish him luck

Anonymous · Answer

What did he do force you to your knees and put his dick down your throat? Or did he go for broke and when you said don;t , he rammed it in your butt?

PeterLegg91 · Answer

Your friend should have more respect for you

Anonymous · Answer

No. If that were the case, friend would get cheated on and neglected. Not my problem 🙃

Slim57 · Answer

Yeah because they'd be shooting themselves in the foot

lalaloveee · Answer

I wouldn't care

TacosRAwesome · Answer

Yes. My friends should do better.

Andres77 · Answer

Depends on why we broke up

LiamJHayden · Answer

No. Why would I care?

Sparkie460 · Answer

It wouldn't bother me.

driven159 · Answer

they would have my sympathy

xJayleenx · Answer

Definitely that girl just broke the girl cold

Alex8736 · Answer

that's like an unwritten law lol

Kelly6 · Answer

no it would not bother me at all

TallAnon · Answer

Depends why we broke up

Jude_Wills · Answer

Yes If i still love her

melanieeeB · Answer

Yeah.

JesseJayNeak · Answer

Depends which ex we’re talking about

PainusNdeeAnus · Answer

Nope

Mamasanma · Answer

I am not sure

DaffodilQueen · Answer

Yes, I would.

eagle1951 · Answer

what friend

Saamee · Answer

No never

Would it bother you if your friend started dating your ex?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said