Is it a red flag if a guy wants to date u but doesn't want anyone knowing?

[ur_gurl_Larissa]

[SnowedIn]

Potentially.

I actually think @sour-rose captured it really well: odd.

I think the reasons why matter a lot and your ages matter a lot too. There's also an intersection of those reasons and your ages.

If this is embarrassment, that's a potential problem. If this is a his friends thing, that's a potential problem. If this is a Romeo and Juliet sort of thing, then less so. If this is a young man who is struggling to communicate then that's something to consider. But just because you have to consider something doesn't make it a red flag.

Something wonderful is that the guy wants to date you. You should feel great about that. BUT... at the same time, dating someone and keeping it hidden is acidic inside. It doesn't feel good because you can't talk about it. So, that's not a red flag but it's something to work through.

And, maybe that's my real point. These days we (modern society, not you specifically :) ) talk too much about red flags when we ought to talk way more about those things that are non-starters and those things where mature communication can work them out.

Finally, though, remember that dating is two. You're part of this. What you want and what you need is important. If his not wanting people to know makes you sad, or uncomfortable, or hurts you -- that's not good, cool, appropriate, etc. Compromise yes, but always take care of you.

Anyway, talk to this guy and figure out where he's coming from. Make sure he knows where you're coming from. Talk or message this through. These are difficult conversations but important and necessary ones.

Best wishes with it.

[DaveJord]

See your age 14... so yes its a red flag at any age.

Could mean a lot of different things... main piont being is that none of reason why they would do or want this is good.

There's no good reason to hide a relationship. That's simple fact.

[LazerBean]

Definitely. It's one thing to not volunteer information unsolicited, but specifically not wanting people to know can only mean something negative.

[Sour-rose]

No, it's just odd. Nothing to scream and run out of the movie theaters while it's playing about.

[Hardworkingguy]

In my opinion someone who decides to go out with a girl and doesn't want anyone else to know about it means that he's trying to hide something I mean why else would he need to keep a relationship a secret?

[jshm2]

No.

But that doesn't mean you're not going to be careful anyway.

[RockyHammock]

Post highschool it's a big red flag. Middle schoolers don't have the best social skills tho so maybe he's just being awkward

[oseveno]

Yes. Why’s he even trying to be all secretive anyways?

[MountAverage]

Do you really need to ask if that's a red flag? How is that not obvious haha

[Berethor]

In most cases yea, he is hiding you, don't want other people to know that he date you.

[Wise4myage]

Yes it is, because a guy should feel proud your dating him, and want his friends to know.

[Anonymous]

depends on the situation but in your case being 14 yeah because more then likely the person or pedo you're talking to is over 18 which could get him in trouble

[Anonymous]

How exactly does that work long term? Do you have to dress in a burka when you go out?🤔

[exitseven]

Yes, he might be married.

[Lookitsmadmax1994]

It is. Why doesn't he want anyone knowing?

[AydenHazor]

That is a major red flag

[Paulychicagoluv]

Definitely sounds like it.

[TheMoreMiffed]

Of course

[EaterPeter]

Yes.

[Anonymous]

Yes sure take care!!