I am a 33yo female, with a good heart, my own property, a good job and not unattractive, why am I finding it so hard to meet someone to be with?

[Anonymous]

[elew4too]

Being a guy disinterested in dating around the same age, I’ll give you some reasons.

First, much more is expected of men in their 30s as opposed to men in their 20s; having children (and paying for them), mortgages, career advancement, etc. are all much more important to a woman in her 30s than a younger woman and the time given to achieve these goals is shortened.

Second, guys around your age are more attractive than they’ve ever been to women; younger women like mature men who have had time to accumulate some cash/skills, yet still look youthful. . . and so do older women. They’re exercising their options the same way young women do when they’re in their late teens/early 20s.

Third, single men in their 30s have at least a decade of dating experience, maybe a few breakups or a divorce, under their belt; they’re tired of pursuing women, especially when they’ve coped/seen they don’t need to.

Finally, having housing, paying bills, and having a job isn’t impressive to most guys. Most of us see that as simply taking care of yourself and avoiding homelessness.

Guys my age are thinking about what a woman has to offer us beyond simply existing as a functional adult while being pretty.

[Anonymous]

Honestly there’s a lot of reasons. For one your age. As you get older I’m sure you know those chances of meeting someone gets slimmer. Two you say you’re not unattractive but that may not be so. I know a lot of women say well people tell me I’m pretty, I’m cute, etc, but a lot of times it’s their friends who are telling them that. The men who are telling you that who are your friends may be saying that not to hurt your feelings same as w some of your female friends. But your females friends may really mean what they say from a female’s POV which is different from a man’s POV when it comes to looks. Also a lot of what you point out as far as what you have men aren’t looking for. When you ask women what they bring to the table they lead w their job, independent, my own home, my own car, etc, but fail to realize that’s not what attracts men. That may attract women but it doesn’t attract t men. Last you may look unapproachable, some women just look mad or mean.

[Guy13]

No idea. Try www.meetup.com

[21Cowboy21]

I'm sure you'll find the right guy soon. But its important to accurately access your social market value vs that of your potential suitors value. There are ways to boost this such as good diet and the gym over time, and great long sleep most nights.

Guys prioritize fertility more than career success or income when seeking mates on avg (broadly speaking). I would get involved in more extra curricular like tennis club, curling, or team sports of some kind. This can be a great way to get/stay in great shape and also meet potential suitors at the same time (ensure it is co-ed though to boost your prospective pool you encounter).

[ArrowheadSW]

I've heard other women say this. Might have to do with a guy thinking "she doesn't need me" or whatever. Or they might be intimidated by your success. Actually when I was in your age group, what you describe would be attractive to me. So there is someone out there for you!

[Ligerzzero]

Obviously your standards are way to high, your wanting what someone who is very attractive, tall, and making 6 figures.

I can guarantee you there are a ton of men that would date you but they don’t meet your standards.

[shu2905]

Can you share your photos and see why you say you are not attractive. Attraction is never in body beauty its from love

[exitseven]

I cannot think of a single reason why you don't have guys lined up wanting to date you. You look good on paper.

[Keishio]

One or more of those things can't be true if you're struggling

[Anonymous]

😆😆😆

[Anonymous]

Same here