Should I stay on dating apps?

[Anonymous]

I signed up because it’s the winter time and I’m not meeting people, and I don’t want to isolate myself.

I thought it would be nice to meet people with no expectations and do good for my self esteem.

Funny enough it’s done the opposite.

I keep getting ghosted and honestly I’m sick of it.

It makes me feel like I’m selling myself cheap and I actually have a lot of respect for myself.

I also know that I’m an attractive woman and I bring a lot to the table. And I deserve someone of similar quality.

I’m at a point where I feel that dating apps are a form of disrespect towards myself.
Am I overthinking it or is that true?

Updates

+1 y

Just to clarify as I’ve received this twice now - I will do what I want to do at the end of the day. But I’m just looking to see what people think of dating apps.

Updates

+1 y

Got off for a bit - my mental health is sooooo much better. Definitely need this break so I can go back to enjoying the process again

[jshm2]

You're probably not game, or your game is so shit it might as well be called a tragedy.

Either way, you're probably looking for company and chat, rather than "dating" aka hookups and short term. Hence falling short.

Maybe go for chat apps rather than dating apps?

I know I tend to piss on most people, but do give serious advice more often than not. Look to your hobbies and interests and you'll find fan groups for them. Those people will be more friendly and receptive to you, and you are more likely to get a compatible partner from there if you're good, too.

[Asker]

You're right, I understand. And I agree, I think my game is very shit lol

[serious]

Well it is your life and so you know yourself better. You say you are a person with lots of self respect but given how things are going for you on dating apps it is surprising that you chose to continue, meaning you must have compromised on your self respect to some extent at least.

That being said, I understand what you said and what I can suggest you should just be single and just focus on talking to people either here or elsewhere but keep it only acquaintances and just 100% pure interaction only. Just try to enjoy that.

You should not make any attempt towards dating and instead just wait and see if there is a man who has the qualities of being your potential future partner.

I know this method is very passive and it might take a long time but I don't know what else to say.

[kylee2437]

So I think before meeting people, you need to figure out your expectations and go from there because adding no expectations meanwhile you are on there for a reason may set you up for disappointment and possible heart break.

[Asker]

I didn’t even go on any dates this time! They’d ghost me through text. Say I’m very beautiful and then disappear I don’t understand!

[kylee2437]

They are probably getting so many matches and such, they are choosing to be wishy washy. It’s just a good sign on your part that you don’t have to deal with men that are choosing to have way too many open options.

[kylee2437]

But like I said, set expectations and decide what you want because trust me from experience, the less understanding of what you want, the more likely you are to put up with BS

[Asker]

Yeah…thanks

[kindaanerd]

Men don't deal with getting too many matches unless they're the most attractive and clearly wealthy. The rest of us have to pull out all our "game" possible just for a reply usually lol.. then the women who get 50 marches a day bardky respond.. if they do lol.

[kylee2437]

@kindaanerd even then though a man disappearing after a few back and fourth messages doesn’t look good

[Asker]

@kindaanerd to be fair I get a lot of matches every day and I know that’s cause I’m a female. I don’t always talk to all of them unless I’m interested. And I’m also balancing a few here and there. But I won’t talk to someone, give them my number and tell them I’m interested and then just ghost. This is what’s happening to me. Like we hardly spoke tbh in all occasions and they ghost me out of nowhere.

[kindaanerd]

Tbh they're probably doing that "micro cheating".. in some relationship they've just gotten comfortable in and trying to leave.. who knows. Or maybe they're shy? I don't know what kind of guys you're trying to meet. But flaking is annoying and I have heard guys do it more, that'd get really annoying.

[Asker]

@kindaanerd Who knows

[WhitneySnow]

I think you should get off the dating apps. If the people on there don’t respect how wonderful you are, it’s not the place for you.

[Asker]

Aw thanks girl!

[WhitneySnow]

Yw! 💕

[Guy13]

Hello little Islam :-) Don't they have Muslim marriage apps where you are?

[Asker]

That was incredibly unnecessary.

[Guy13]

alright. have a good one.

[Weapon77]

I wouldn't use dating apps. I did for years, and all it does is waste your time and lower your self esteem UNLESS you are one of the lucky few who actually meet someone and have good experiences. I've gotten a few dates from dating sites, but none ever work out because onlinr interest almost never translatws to real world chemistry. Also, too many people are flaky or just want to fuck on dating sites for it to be productive. Just find more ways to meet people in person because it's really the only good option. I somehow still end up feeling good about myself after getting rejected IN PERSON, and I'm sure you'll be the same if you rven get rejected.

[motownplayer2000]

Dating apps are fine. I think you need to change you way of thinking. With men being done with being blamed for everything on a daily, the threat of thing called on for SH at the drop of a dime if a woman doesn’t like you, or simply being a nice guys saying hey, and then being ghosted themselves women have to put more effort in now. I’m sure you’ve ghosted many men in your life and the old adage is true. What goes around comes around. So now you must put in effort to find someone. That’s only fair. Entitlement is a huge problem amongst women. They feel they deserve someone without earning it. The only thing anyone deserves is basic human rights, and privacy/space. Other than that, you have to start earning what you think you deserve. You think you deserve to “be with someone…” you got to earn that and be worth someone that people want to be around. If you haven’t found that by now, you have earned it, which means you don’t deserve it.

[Hellraiser1984]

Dating sites are scams. Most of those profiles are fake. Plus you can send out a 100 messages and maybe 2 ever message you back. And then that takes months. Don't waste your time on them most of the real people on them are looking for a dream person who doesn't exist. They are very specific about they want and you'll never be what they want. The hateful messages that come back can really make you feel like crap. I've have a few of them myself a polite message saying they're not interested or just not leaving any message is better than writing back something insulting and cruel. Just forget them. The only way is to go out and try in person.

[Wade12345]

No. Self respecting men have come to realize only cam girls and scammers use dating sites. Meet someone at a football game or the library, a nd don't go to bars. Drunken fools go to bars to pick up other drunken fools. If you want a drunk for a boyfriend, fine go to bars to find men. If you want a real man, go to church or the library ro a football game.

[Alex8736]

when I was on the apps i would check my messages in the morning before work and if someone interesting hits me up I'll reply then head to work. One thing I have zero tolerance for is someone trying to waste my time which is why my intro to my profile had my famous quote "Don't Chase Just Replace" 😋

[PatriceONeal]

You match like all girls match. Way out of your league. Dating apps inflated women's ego and you all chase the same men. It's crazy.

[Asker]

I think I was out of his league tbh ;)

[PatriceONeal]

I doubt it. Moat women are inferior to most men.

[wannabecuck-2]

Has given me depression nd question my own self worth.

[Asker]

Me too lol

[standardguy]

I have found great persons on dating apps. The negative responses (inclusive ghosting) are a negative side effect you should just ignore.

But if you are fed up at the moment so take a break.

[standardguy]

which dating apps have you used?

[Hallix26]

You gotta make those decisions yourself. Nobody knows the situation more than you!

[Asker]

Just looking to see what people think…then again it’s kind of addictive 😂😂😂

[Static_In_The_Attic]

Instead of online dating you should do offline dating like I do.

[Jamie05rhs]

I understand the frustration. But it's probably better to keep your account. You can just spend less time on it if it's annoying you.

[Bklynbadboy12]

If your tired of it take a brake and don't limit yourself to dating apps you can meet people anywhere at the supermarket in the laundry room even on this site so don't get tunnel vision

[KostasKouvalis]

I think dating apps are stupid to be honest. And a lot of men only use them to hook up

[Anonymous]

Dating apps are objectively terrible. But it seems like you can't find people with out them these days. My advice is to not get invested in people until you meet them in person. Until then they might as well be a robot.

[Part2603]

Poor girl. The first guy you met didn't fall madly in love with you. HOW DARE HE!

[Part2603]

Allright. You seem like a cute girl. I offer you a date. HMU

[Asker]

He's the fourth lol

[KrakenAttackin]

You get ghosted because of one word answers and failure to show the smallest amount of personality.

[Asker]

Not true I asked him to call me when he was free and I thought it went well

[Asker]

I told him I wanted to speak to him properly rather than through text

[KrakenAttackin]

He obviously was not impressed.

[Asker]

I never texted him after the phone call to see if he thought it went well. He texted me the next day and asked how my day was going.

Anyways it doesn’t matter because I blocked his number and deleted all my networks that I can be contacted on. I’ve literally gone ghost and I can’t be bothered with this anymore lol

[KrakenAttackin]

@itsalyssaagain. You can be bothered with being rejected by Chad?

[Asker]

No I just don’t have the energy to be dating right now. I need a little break and I need to shift my focus on some other things. It was taking too much of my time and I was wayyyyyy too invested. It got unhealthy.

[Danny_dan92]

If you want too. Nobody is forcing you too

[Iron_Man]

Try Churches or Christian Mingles

[Fromdusktilldawn]

beware it will corrupt your ego