Do guys mind dating a girl that has a baby?

[Anonymous]

I need an honest answer...I'm 24 and I've only been with one person in my whole life..We had a baby together and we had plans to get married but things didn't work out so I ended up. Now I'm new to this new dating thing and I don't know what to expect from guys. People tell me that I need to be prepare because there are many jerks out there and I'm going to have ups and downs. I just don't know how guys might feel dating a girl that already has a baby? Would they even consider on having something serious? I would never introduce my son to any of my dates unless I feel its something serious, I also don't like talking about it with just any guy but sometimes they take it wrong like if I'm hiding something, which I'm not I just don't want to confuse my baby having to meet many guys.

[Anonymous]

Most guys are turned off by it because...

- that baby will have to come first. Although understandable, this means that they don't get you all to themselves because you have to work to provide for a child and spend time with that child. This can take a lot away from the process of getting to know someone you want to potentially date.

- if they don't get along with the child and the child is just a real brat then it's going to put a strain on the relationship

- they don't want to feel like you're looking for a daddy for your baby.

- it puts a lot of pressure on the guy to grow up when he genuinely may not be at a point in his life where he's ready to just grow up and be mature in certain aspects. But because you are a mother and have a child, you may look at him badly if he doesn't always act extremely mature.



Yes, there are jerks out there, but also you have limited yourself from a lot of wonderful guys who aren't jerks but simply just don't want a woman who has a child with another man. That's something you really need to understand. A lot of guys are just young and they want to have fun and be able to have serious relationships where they can focus on the two people in the relationship without having to include a third factor all of the time. That's totally understandable and I think that's something you need to really get through your head.

[udolipixie]

Maybe if it's just casual dating and the mother is really attractive. (hookups, fwb)

Yes if it's serious dating or anything that could lead to a casual relationship. (gf/bf, serious exclusive dating)

Most men don't want to raise or pay for another man's kid.

Most men will think you're looking for a new dad for the kids.

Most men don't want a constant reminder you were with another guy.

Most men don't want to deal with the father of the kid.

Most men will constantly remind themselves the burden your kid will he to the relationship.

Most men will knoe=w that they will never be your #1 priority but the kid will be.

In fact in a guy's dating world single mothers the least valued along with older women and are usually called the worst names even going as far to calling her kids "f*ck trophies".

The only viable single mother to most guys is a widow not a divorcee or unnmarried single woman.

[udolipixie]

Single mothers aren't even that wanted to single fathers.

Single dads prefer women with no kids so they can raise his and he doesn't have additional baggage to handle (i,e, her kids and his kids).

[Anonymous]

Lots of men who thought of you as being out of their league before, will want to date you. Most men that were your equal before you had kids, will look elsewhere. Having a kid lowers your overall value. Lest say a woman that was a 9, on a scale of 1-10 would never date a guy that was as low as a 6. However after having a kid or kids, her overall value has dropped due to the extra baggage she now has. The woman that was a 9 might consider dating a 6 after she has a kid. At least this is what most guys are hoping for.

Basically, the guys you date in the future, may not be as good looking, or may suffer from lower confidence than the guys you use to date. I am talking about men that want a relationship, not about guys that just want to hook up.

Single dads are going through the same thing. In fact most of the single moms I know, still will not consider a single dad as an option. I am talking about if the kids live with the father. If a man with a kid is not a problem for you, then you may want to look for a single dad, that understands your situation.

[tmlsmurfs]

No, not at this point

1. If I was with a girl who had a kid, I'd then feel like I'd have to play war with the kid's biological father, unless of course the father is the type of guy guy who deserves to get his balls cut off.

2. I don't really like the need of feeling I have to support one, especially when you don't know if you'll marry this girl, then your money is BOOM GONE.

At a later point,

1. If I was divorced at an age of 22-32 and she had kids and I did yeah, because there's an even support, I look after hers, she looks after mine.

2. I CERTAINLY DON'T PLAN THIS. but if I had a kid and not with his/her mother, then yes I would because again, even support.

Also in general at this point, how much time would you be able to spend with the girl if she had one, you couldn't go out a lot, because babysitters etc, lots of them, and if you can't get one, no date etc.

That's my way of looking at it, hope it helped.

[zickzack]

I don`t want to meet a woman with a baby! (which isn`t one of me)

[Anonymous]

I'm going to be completely honest here and say that I couldn't. I can't deal with someone else's and the monkey wrench that whole situation brings into a relationship.