Guys , what's worst? Rejection or not answering?

[Random_g]

So there is this guy who used to see me whenever I go to a certain shop, he told me he was interested and I said no "nicely".. One day he waited for me and gave me a gift (perfume and a letter) , I didn't want to take it but he took me by a sudden and I didn't react so fast..

Anyways in the letter he asked me to be his lover and confessed and told me that I seem hesitant ( I think I wasn't firm enough) , he left his phone number and Facebook so I could contact him but I didn't... I just didn't know what else to tell him , plus I've been busy with family issues and thought maybe it's not suitable to reach him after a long time?

Now I'm asking would it be better if I contacted him after aaall this time ( about a month) and reject him firmly or should I just keep silent and maybe he will take it as if I'm ignoring him (even tho this wasn't my intentions) ?

I didn't go to that shop ever since, I'm just afraid to meet him and i wouldn't know what to say.

[WaterIsland]

You already said no. No need to say it again since you haven’t talked for a month or so. He should listen to what you said the first time. So in this situation, I don’t see the need to reach out or answer.


However, if you had shown interest (doesn’t sound like you did), then rejection is definitely better than ghosting.

[Random_g]

Yeah ghosting isn't nice, that's why I'm still thinking about it even tho it's been a while, especially because I don't want him to think it's his fault or if something is wrong with him.. But I also think it's rude and arrogant to reach out for him after all this time.

[WaterIsland]

Personally, I wouldn’t expect you to reach out. And you reaching out at this point could create more problems than it’d solve. I’d just move on. I don’t think it’s ghosting when you’ve been clear and up front that you aren’t interested from the beginning.

[Random_g]

OK thank you ^^ that was very helpful.. I'm inexperienced so I don't know what to do when it comes to my matters.

[WaterIsland]

Glad it was helpful. I meant to say this. But if I was in that situation and a girl reached out to me under those circumstances even to reject me, I’d have a lot of questions, and might even interpret it as she is interested because she reached out after all this time.

And if you run into him again. The only explanation that is necessary is that you said no and you weren’t interested before, and you meant it.

[Random_g]

You're a life savior, because my reactions sucks and I was afraid not to know what to say.. I literally didn't go out since then except for once because I was afraid to meet him.. but this is what I needed... Another question, should I carry his gift with me to return it in case I met him?

[WaterIsland]

A gift is a gift. There isn’t really any expectation of ever returning a gift, especially in this case I feel like. That being said, if I was in your position, I personally wouldn’t want to keep it. I’d want to move on and stop thinking about it. So even tho it sounds extreme, I might throw it away or something. But you could always keep it or use the gift.

All of this is assuming you have zero interest in him tho.

I do think him asking you to be his “lover” in that letter so early on is extremely creepy. Maybe if you’d gone on some dates and knew each other better it’d be fine. But that’s just me.

[Random_g]

I didn't use it and I don't think it's suitable for me to ever use it... And I'm not interested in him or in anybody for now that's why I rejected him in the first place...

Again, thank you so much and I'm sorry for keeping on asking you for every detail, but your opinions were really helpful, so thank you.

[Slay256]

A no is a no. Thats it. But why are you still thinking of him? Do you actually like him a little? Do you know him?

[Random_g]

Not really, I just feel bad because he went out of his way to write a letter but didn't get an answer to it, and I don't want to be the reason of any kind of emotional damage...

[Slay256]

He’s gonna get over it.

[Slay256]

Don’t worry about it.

[Random_g]

Okay then, I just tend to overthink things sometimes.. But tnx for the assurance ^^

[Slay256]

The least you can do is say thank you for the letter i guess; but just follow your heart. And you’re welcome I try.

[talka20]

If your answer is still no then no need to text him unless u wana start knowing him or there is some change of mind

[Chad345]

Both really bad but getting ghosted is worse

[Random_g]

So what should I do?

[Chad345]

Find someone who wants to spend more time with you. I know moving on isn't easy.

[Random_g]

Huh? What moving on?

[ThomasDavid1989]

You're rejecting a guy, you don't even know, yikes

[Random_g]

I just don't want relationship and I'm not ready to give care for another person right now.. That's exactly what I said to him before but he took it as I'm being hesitant!

[ThomasDavid1989]

You're rejecting a guy you don't even know

[Random_g]

Yeah.