Guys, Afraid of rejection vs not interested?

[Anonymous]

Hi guys! How can I tell the difference between a guy who likes me but is afraid of rejection vs a guy who is just not enough interested in me? (We are not dating yet, we are just colleagues but there is attraction). Thanks :)

[MrOracle]

If you feel attraction and want to get to know him, you need to show some interest in return. Especially with a work situation, he's not going to do anything (like ask you out) until he's quite sure that his interest will be welcomed by you.

I already know that you won't tell him how you feel directly, so you must at least do it indirectly. You do this by being happy and enthusiastic about his presence. Say hello and goodbye. Cross the room to talk to him. Smile at him and give him your attention. Laugh at his jokes. And to really make it clear, break the touch barrier - touch his hand or arm when he says something funny or profound. Give him high-fives, or lean against him. Make it clear that you have no problem with him making physical contact with you (I'm NOT telling you to be SEXUAL, just physical). Most importantly, do NOT do these things with any other guy.

He will notice, and others will notice, and your interest will be known, and that will make it safe for him to invite you out or just spend more time getting to know you. And if you have somehow read him all wrong, you still won't have done anything questionable or embarrassing.

[ProbablyClueless]

A good rule of thumb is that the person simply isn't interested if there are reasons that getting romantically entangled would be a bad idea. Particularly in the workplace.

There are a LOT of reasons that him pursuing you is an awful idea. So you should just assume that he isn't interested

[Asker]

Thanks for your answer! The thing is that even though he never tried to make a move, he usually sends signals of being attracted to me, trying to flirt, etc. If he thinks it’s a bad idea to get involved with someone at the workplace, why would he do that?

[ProbablyClueless]

He might not even realize he's doing it. Being interested in someone and acting on those interests are totally different.

[Asker]

You are right! He acts like he is not really interested, but I have a gut feeling that he is interested in me. I don’t know why, but with this guy I just don’t believe he is not interested in me. So something must be holding him back.

[ProbablyClueless]

Could be! People are weird about stuff like that. Sometimes they just do things for absolutely no particular reason at all.

[Anonymous]

Yesss