How do I find a date that actually genuinely interests me?

[Anonymous]

I don’t have a problem attracting most men I’m interested in, but I have difficulty relating to most and I’m not easily interested. Those I get interested in have always let me down and I don’t believe that there’s someone for everyone. I’m not damaged. It’s not to do with how hot they are. Guys just fail to meet my standards of being good hearted, generous, funny, smart, loyal and loving. Quite often they’re ordinary or attractive. So that’s not it and sometimes I’m just not feeling it because they’re too nice and lack my level of intelligence. I’d rather stay single and not date, like my best friends do than settle for someone who bores me. What do you suggest I do?

[Chazmatazz269]

You’re asking two different questions.
The first is about how to find a date who actually interests you. I can’t help a ton. I’m a dude who likes women. I don’t know the ins and outs of attracting men, especially men to whom YOU would be attracted. You can start by being honest with yourself about the importance of physical attraction. If you REALLY value intelligence, knock that shit off. Only dummies believe that nonsense you’re spewing and smart men can smell bullshit from miles away. If you’re smart enough to deserve a smart dude, there’s no point in arguing and we both know it.
The second question was about what i (we) suggest you do. Get comfortable with and accustomed to being single. Use men when you must, but entirely avoid them otherwise. If dating for women is as bad as dating for men is right now, there’s no point in wasting time, energy and money on the kinds of trash that remain available beyond the mid to late twenties. If you can attract those kids, more power to you! You might have a shot! Could they possibly keep your interest as you’ve promoted yourself herein? Highly unlikely.

[Grond21]

Unfortunately as women's intelligence goes up the average chances of them getting married go down. They always seek to have a man who is at least as intelligent as they are, and the higher her own intelligence the more limited the pool is

Question though. Where are you searching for these men?

[Asker]

Online or through meetup groups or mutual friends.

[Grond21]

Those are not bad places to start. Do you have any intellectual interests that you could pursue, hoping to meet someone who shares that with you?

[Asker]

Yes, politics, history and books and music.

[Grond21]

Perfect. And what group or groups would have men your age there?

I love the first three, and the last is interesting. Which politics? Which period of history? Reading is my main hobby

[Grond21]

Thanks for MHO

[es20490446e]

A relationship with a person is something that takes time to develop, same with feelings.

You don't just meet someone, and suddenly you are crazy in love with them.

Maybe you find them sexy, but that's it. Feelings come later, if you like the person as a person.

[NewYorkCity]

Welcome to the world where you cannot trust anyone, where everyone has some kind of flaw and not really good enough for you and where your expectations have been subliminally and DELIBERATELY set by Hollywood and music industry to keep you single, to keep you searching and to keep you sad, angry and depressed.

[Jerre]

Stay single and date many guys. I am single and love being with different women.

[Jerre]

Thank you for the Like

[Zandoval]

Yeah stay single. If no guy fits your bill, you're the one with the problem. Not them.

[Asker]

You’re a young person and think you know everything and will have to learn the hard way, like everyone else has. You don’t know me as far as I’m aware and you know nothing of my experiences with men.

[Zandoval]

I agree that I am on the younger side, I do not think that's a setback. There's something called common sense. I know I've plenty of that. If you can't find a good dude and think all the guys around you are trash, the logical conclusion, is that you are the problem. Not them. It doesn't take a 65 year old rocket scientist to figure that out. I'm not saying there aren't bad guys. But this is the logical conclusion.

[Asker]

Common sense? Maybe, but lack of life experience from which to understand and speak from.

[Asker]

If you’re really 20

[Zandoval]

You don't need have experienced obesity yourself to know binge eating junk food is bad for you. Similarly, you do not necessarily need "life experience" to have common sense. Some develop it through experiences, as you have rightly said. I do not need to be bit by a lion to know going into a lions den is bad, personally.

[Asker]

Well, you’re young. Probably don’t even have wrinkles yet. I’m sure your advice was kindly meant. You’ll learn from experience and yes, many things you have to learn about the hard way before you have the wisdom to know what you’re talking about.

[Asker]

Also, obesity can be caused by many other things than binge eating.

[Zandoval]

Well, you're old and probably have many wrinkles. You've clearly not learned enough from all this "experience" to hold a relationship of your own, so you're getting off the bandwagon (more power to you since that's what you want) but I disagree nonetheless. But I guess it is what it is.

[Zandoval]

95% of the time, obesity is caused due to improper exercise levels and poor diet control.

[Asker]

A lot of the time it’s also due to medications, thyroid conditions and antidepressant medication.

[Zandoval]

Like I said, if you do not put excess calories into your body, the likelihood of you staying obese are quite low.

[Asker]

I can’t explain to someone who lacks wisdom and thinks they know everything. You’ll just have to learn from experience, like we all did before you. Good luck.

[Zandoval]

... I have studied sport science and biology. I think I know enough on the matter, but thank you.

[Asker]

You think what you want. Get back to me when you’ve experienced them.

[Zandoval]

Experienced what?

[Asker]

Anything beyond schooling and one or two relationships.

[Zandoval]

Have you got anywhere with all that "experience" you have? Where is your husband?

[Asker]

None of your business. Go away from me, little boy.

[Zandoval]

See? Have a nice day.

[Asker]

Have a nice day.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like a definite you problem. You probably shouldn't date. You sound like a nightmare.

[Asker]

Spoken by the kind of guy women won’t settle for.

[Opinion Owner]

Someone tries to help you and this is your response. Can't imagine why it doesn't work out for you. 😆😆😆

[Asker]

It just sounds like sour grapes.

[Opinion Owner]

Of course it does. Because you don't really want a relationship. You want worship. Which might have been a possibility 10-15 years ago. But you're past your prime. Now you actually have to bring something to the table. You'll eventually make the adjustment. Or you won't and this will continue. And you'll just get more bitter. I wish you luck with you endeavors.

[Asker]

Sour grapes from you I mean.

[Asker]

You don’t know anything about my history, my values or the sorts of men I’ve dealt with or even what I have to bring to the table. Men have to bring something to the table too. Unless they do, I’m not playing the dating game.

[Opinion Owner]

Whatever makes you feel better about you situation. Keep in mind you're the one asking how to find a worthwhile partner, not me.

[Asker]

and you’re the one getting off on bullying me online about it. Anonymously.

[Opinion Owner]

You're right I don't know you I can only go off your question which was pretty arrogant selfish sounding.

[Opinion Owner]

I'm not bullying you. No more than you're bullying me. I'm just not a yes man. You ask a question I'm going to give you an honest answer. Sometimes the truth isn't always easy to hear.

[Asker]

Having standards doesn’t make me a nightmare.

[Opinion Owner]

You're right. You're being a nightmare makes you a nightmare.

[Asker]

You don’t know me and are not qualified to say that therefore, as you’ve never dated me.

[Asker]

Anyway if I sound like I’m putting myself first, for once, then good for me. It’s about time I stopped bending backwards Year after year, being treated like a servant by some subhuman bum or someone who is perfectly nice but just isn’t for me. Expecting someone reasonably intelligent, kind, loyal and loving and not bad at kissing and sex isn’t unrealistic or unfair.

[Opinion Owner]

And that's fine. I think you should do that. But don't come here combining about it then.

[Opinion Owner]

Complaining*

[Opinion Owner]

Cause we just going to set you straight. 🙂

[Asker]

Bully me you mean. All I did was ask a question. Bunny Boiling Abuser LOL

[Opinion Owner]

You're always the gictim. You never want to take responsibility for ANYTHING and that is why you FAIL. But think what you want. Clearly it's working.

[Opinion Owner]

Victim*

[Asker]

Whatever. I’m done conversing with you. Bye.

[Opinion Owner]

👍👍👍