Is it anxious attachment style or is his behaviour unfair?

[neverending_horizon]

my partner takes a long time texting back, sometimes up to more than a day.

It makes me super sad, annoyed and sends my thoughts spiralling that he doesn’t want me anymore.

that may be an overreaction, but isn’t it also fair to be a little angry, when I know he is online and It really doesn’t take more than a minute to respond?

[Anonymous]

As someone with an anxious attachment style, that doesn't sound like what he's experiencing. Anxious attachment tends to show up as someone who's constantly wanting communication or to spend time with you but then when the time comes they flake. Or they apologize all the time because they know it's too much but they can't help themselves. It also tends to show up as extreme clingy-ness but then extreme distance in a routine pattern of behavior. Mainly because they really want to be with you 24/7 but then at some point realize that people need space so they go to the other extreme to accommodate that. Then they get super anxious about losing you and repeat the cycle. This tends to be either a daily or weekly occurrence of switching up. From your post it kinda just sounds like he's not super clingy, just really bad at responding.

It does, however, sound very much like he might just be busy or need space. A lot of guys I know tend to do this kinda thing when they feel overwhelmed with their life and just need additional time/space to process everything. It's their way of protecting you from their own personal issues. Since men take longer to process things, they tend to not speak on those issues until they fully understand them. Then when they feel like they're in a better head space they reach out again. It could also be that maybe he's losing interest or feels like he can't be as independent as he'd like to be so he's creating that independence for himself by only giving you attention when he feels like it's appropriate. But from my personal experiences, it's usually just the guy feeling overwhelmed/stressed out.

I hope this helps! It could also help by meeting up with him in person and genuinely showing concern for his well being, asking him to share what's been going on and letting him know you're there for him. Also letting him know how his behavior is affecting you because he might not be aware that what he's doing is hurting you.

[Anonymous]

I wish I could just never text my girlfriend unless we're making plans to meet up, but she wants to text all day, even though her messages are boring and bland lol

But still, I always text her back right away, because I don't want her to feel bad.

I don't know your boyfriend, but I can tell you if I'm not texting back it's because I dont give a fuck

[Opinion Owner]

"What are you doing"

🤦‍♂️ same thing I was doing an hour ago babe

[Guy13]

He thinks you are too much and needs space.

[Alex8736]

seeing someone else