How do I get a shy girl?

[Anonymous]

I have a huge crush in this girl. We've been out multiple time, sometimes on our own, sometimes with others. I know she likes me but she's reluctant because I dated her friend over 7 years ago, so she thinks it would be awkward, how do I go about it?

[SueShe]

So, you dated her friend over 7 years ago and now you want to date her.

No wonder that she is reluctant, knowing that you are going from girl to girl and then you drop them like a hot potato after a few weeks, months or years.

I would be reluctant as well knowing that there is a real risk that this potential relation will not last more than 5 or 6 years.

My advice is simply not to date her, knowing that you will not likely make it past a few months with her.

Also, she probably heard a few stories from her friend and she is not really interested in suffering the same issues as her friend did.

It is indeed awkward for her and her fears are indeed justified. Best is to leave her alone as she will never really be at ease in a relation with you.

[Asker]

For your reference, the girl broke off with me because she had some personal family issues, so whatever hot potato you have, please keep it to yourself.

And for reference again, the girl actually hasn't told anyone any stories because of her family related issues which I'm sure she didn't anyone knowing, there was no malice or in our breakup, we remained as friends and I supported her through her problems the best I could.

[SueShe]

so, let me ask you a question. How many different girlfriends did you have in this 7 years period?

[Asker]

I've had one in that 7 years

[SueShe]

Are you really in the age group 25-29 or are you rather 18-19?

If you were indeed as old as you pretend, you would have enough life experience to address a shy person. Allow me to be a little skeptical.

[Asker]

I'm currently 25 years old, im a conservative guy and religious, so we don't go hoeing around, we date to marry, so yeah, I guess maybe im not experienced enough!

[Guy13]

Be in her space consistently but not up on her. If you are within eye shot and speak once in awhile then she will figure it out.

[Asker]

Thank you

[Avicenna]

Be patient and consistently show her that you're interested by being respectful, communicating well and planning fun dates.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like you are wasting too much time not asking her. It's might be too late to ask now and you missed your shot. But if you want to go for it soon.

[stratford]

Be subtle and gentle and gain her trust.