Should I just find someone else that’s serious about me?

[Anonymous]

I’m a guy in my mid twenties, and I really want a family of my own. I have a girlfriend who’s long distance (we haven’t met in person yet). And I’m really not happy because we’ve known each other for over a year now. She said she’s gonna see me soon. And it keeps being pushed. I feel like I’m wasting my life on her when she still hasn’t seen me yet. Like seriously, I hate being single. I can’t go anywhere without people giving me looks as to why I’m by myself. I need a girlfriend, not a phone text. I hate coming home all the time to an empty house. To an empty car. Always feeling empty inside.

[Anonymous]

I think all cases I heard about ended badly because of distance and left some damage.

Except in my case. I met my first love when I was 21 in a video game, lol.

My friend added me to this group of geeks around the world playing online games and he was part of it, and it was super fun with them! The best part was that there were no instagram or anything, just Skype and game client, I had no idea how any of them looked like. It didn't took long that I start to favorite him, he was best at game, good leader, best sense of humor, cocky and he heavily flirted with me (actually I felt like all of them were flirting but he stood out the most for me). Gradually we talked and connected more, only after few months I was already deeply in love with him. It was totally unexpected and he felt the same. But yeah... the distance. Both in Europe but around 2000 miles away. Travelling wasn't that popular back then and we were just two poor students living with their parents. But honestly it felt so good and right we didn't care. Then we finally met around 7 months in on a gaming event in another country was like half way from each other. It was a very popular event I always wanted to go to, and I was so happy that my parents let me (well it was expensive they had to pay a part, and the only condition was that my older brother goes with me which was fine). It was literally a love at first sight, because I had no idea how he looks like. Call it a luck, destiny or whatever but he was a fine looking young man (not that I cared anyway, I never even asked for a pic, lol). To shorten it, we ended up having fantastic 3 days up there, and we decided to keep it going. Eventually both our families realized how serious we were for each other and they helped us out a bit with expenses when travelling to visit each other. We were so madly in love and enjoying every single moment we could meet, the words could not describe. The distance didn't even matter how happy we were. But that doesn't mean it didn't require some effort, planning and commitment given how little options we had (also very sucky interent). We would visit each other around every 3 to 4 months, and stay together as long as possible (from 10 days to few months), we bought web cameras and had video regular dates (like with drinks and snacks and all that, yep), and when we were together at first he'd stay with me and my parents and vice versa, but eventually after saving up we would rent a flat for ourselves. We also went travelling together and visited our other gaming friends from the group, and we still continued gaming of course. The best 3 years of my life!

Then I moved officially to his and things started to fall apart... We were living together for another 3 years but it didn't work out in the end.

The point is, there are no rules. When it's mutual and strong and right, there are no limits, only circumstances. But I do have to agree that today's modern age and technology does make it easier so less excusess...

[fonduegirl]

I’m a guy in my mid twenties, and I really want a family of my own.
~ that's good, sounds normal.
I have a girlfriend who’s long distance (we haven’t met in person yet). And I’m really not happy because we’ve known each other for over a year now.
~ if you wanna settle down, don't do it with online dating.
She said she’s gonna see me soon. And it keeps being pushed.
~ did you ask her if also wanted to settle down?
I feel like I’m wasting my life on her when she still hasn’t seen me yet.
~ do you love her?
Like seriously, I hate being single. I can’t go anywhere without people giving me looks as to why I’m by myself.
~ those are wrong reasons to get in a relationship lmao.
I need a girlfriend, not a phone text.
~ clearly
I hate coming home all the time to an empty house. To an empty car. Always feeling empty inside.
~ sounds like a personal issue. Therapy can help.

[magiusX26]

look within to. find fulfillment 1st. yourvreasoning for seeking a relstionship is not good, which makes things more negative, confusing, and difficult for yourself. the keeps pushing away from meeting sounds more like a catfishing type of thing. as far as visually seeing each other, why is a year in and no video calls?

[Guy13]

Oh, you have a pen pal and not a relationship, I get it. LDR never works and is a waste of time and energy.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely, especially if you’re not happy and unsure of this long distance partner actually showing up this time. Just say the dynamic isn’t working for you anymore and you need to leave the connection to find what you’re looking for. You’ll be glad you did and probably wonder why you didn’t leave any earlier.

[Sleeper07]

long distance is you being stupid bro, just find a girl around you.

[In_Trance]

yeah