I am sick of being single and heartbroken. I know it sounds pathetic but I had an online boyfriend for 3 years. The first time I lost him was when he decided to selfishly do drugs which led to him almost dying and then sent to rehab for a year. I thought he was gone forever and I had a history of guys leaving me I didn't know what happened. The problem is guys in real life don't come to me and if they do they are usually way older, creepy, or demanding and that's if I had someone pray to send someone to me. The other time a guy wanted me was only for me to come to his bedroom for a "movie". It's like people think black girls are easy. It's hard because I'm in Southern California and guys out here are already shallow. Then another time a so called "preacher" tried to set me up with a man way older than me who look like he was old enough to be my dad and I said I was uncomfortable. He backed off but came back and got more aggressive. He then "lied" and gossiped about me which turned half the "church" against me. Then the last time a guy WAY too old for me came up and started talking. He already had a girl and said "me and my girl are having problems and maybe we can get to know each other." First of all I find it strange he paints his nails and then he is trying to use me as a rebound. Fast forward to now this online boyfriend got locked up for not paying the fine of the drug he smoked because it's not legal in his state. He also is on the streets so he barley could text me. The last time he got out he said he would come out to see me and ends up ghosting. I understand that when you have no place it's difficult but completely ghosting someone is messed up. I can only get someone online because the only guys who ask me out in my state are either older creeps or weirdos who seem like they are in a devilish cult. I don't know why I attract these types of guys. It's never a normal attractive guy. I can attach a picture in part 2. I would consider myself average
What am I doing wrong with men?
