When men are done with me they’re DONE…… what am I doing wrong?

[Anonymous]

I know they go back to some women… why don’t they come back to me….

[ProbablyClueless]

I think a lot of people are just weird about exes in general, so what you're experiencing is NOT particularly uncommon. A lot of people are just extremely conflict-avoidant and don't know how to handle any kind of awkward feelings.

That being said, it is extremely likely that the way you approach people contributes to an atmosphere of unclear communication and general strife; especially if you're the kind of person who struggles with accepting criticism. A LOT OF WOMEN BEHAVE THIS WAY WITHOUT REALIZING IT. If you're the kind of person that, the instant anyone gives you criticism, your first instinct is to give excuses, assign blame, or give criticisms back to the other person; you're creating an environment where people recognize that you are not receptive to a give and take dynamic in relationships.

A lot of people will choose to run from people they think are unreceptive to their contributions and any growth that might stem from it.

[normalice]

Hard to say without knowing you but usually it's you wanting something they find cumbersome to provide and vice versa with neither of you willing to sacrifice for each other.

[laly520]

u r seeing the wrong guys

try to date different type

[boggboss]

Why wpuld u want them to come back surly u should be working on not having them leaving or ending things in the first place

[Asker]

When they done they done… nothing worked… they didn’t want to stay

[boggboss]

Again why would u not work on being able to no having guys be done with u in the first place

[boggboss]

Why do u want to be a guys back up option

[Asker]

Oh I see what you’re saying. I don't know

Probably the best I can do

[boggboss]

No I think u can do better u are just accepting shitty men and wondering why they don't come back to you after

[Asker]

Mmmm idk… idc anymore. Lust is so much better than love.

[boggboss]

So then just look for guys to fuck lol why care that they don't come back u are just looking for bodies not true connections which means the guys u find won't value you which again won't matter

[Asker]

No I don’t sleep with them. I’m actually still a virgin but I do like the attention.. sexual attention.. I like feeling desired

[boggboss]

So what u mean is u love attention which is fine but thats all u care about not love not lust but attention plenty of people are attention whores why would guys come back to you tho if u are not offering them anything

[Asker]

I’m talking about the men who I thought wanted to love me and saw me as something more… not just all me I deal with…

The ones I truly admired

[boggboss]

Then my best guess would be u was wrong about how they felt or they lied to you

[Asker]

Maybe they lied to me… after all I’m not their dream girl

[boggboss]

No u was not otherwise they wouldn't have left in the first place

[Asker]

So they lied then

[boggboss]

Most likely yes or u did somthing to push them away

[Asker]

Well screw them. I’m a real maneater.

[boggboss]

How are u a maneater u have never been with a guy

[Asker]

Mmm, it’s not all about sex. Time is more precious than sex. Resources is more important than love

[boggboss]

I think u are coming up with you own ideas of a man eater lol

[Asker]

Yes. I’m remixing it

I can’t fuck just to fuck. That’s goes against my personality

[boggboss]

So that's not being a maneater

[Asker]

You’re talking about a ho

I’m a maneater

[boggboss]

Again your not a man eater or a ho lol your not capable of sleeping with guys no strings attached your a attention whire that's about it

[Asker]

Hold on so I really have to fuck? He’ll nah

[boggboss]

To be considered a maneater or how yes

[boggboss]

Hoe*

[Asker]

Mmmmm

[Asker]

I think bc I come off as unstable

[boggboss]

That u do

[Asker]

If you don’t mind being honest… how so?

[boggboss]

U have had your heart broken a few times and has lead you to now love the attention guys give u because u use it as a replacement for love

[Asker]

Yeah ik that.

But how does that come off as me being unstable?

I find it ironic how the last guy said that and he knew that I was possibly hurt by someone and I felt like he was taking genuine interest even when I tried to push him away… he said “ I can understand if you’ve dealt with people “like that” but it’s important not to punish everyone for someone else’s sins “ or wondering what’s the safest way to interact with you…

So I think after the date it hurt… bc I think he tried to sabotage the date and he turned cold in the end.. ghosted me

When he finally gave me closure he said he didn’t want to invest his time if we weren’t going to eventually be intimate.. but he never talked about sex before

He said he didn’t want to go back and forth with me bc I misunderstand what he says and he had other priorities to worry about

[boggboss]

U was trying to wear being a hoe and maneater as a badge of honour how is that nit unstable when u are claiming to only want mens attention thats not the comments of a stable person or someone I would choose to invest time in

[Asker]

But I didn’t tell him that… I don't know why he felt I was unstable… the only thing he mentioned was when I said I didn’t mind being a placeholder.

[boggboss]

Normal people and or women wouldn't say they don't mind being a place holder plus if u say crazy things like that I imagine it's not hard to work out that u ain't the most stable person

[Asker]

Then why did he continue to talk to me and we decided to meet up? Wouldn’t that mean he’s unstable himself? Yet he’s calling me that

[boggboss]

Him being unstable don't mean u are not also unstable u are 100% without a doubt not stable I know that for a fact but don't mean he is normal

[Asker]

So you think he’s not normal? But he did say that he didn’t want the whole placeholder thing and he was struggling to understand it. I told him I wasn’t looking for anything in the beginning but then I told him I was willing to take things slow

[DarkWinterNights]

I mean, preferably you want to shoot for not breaking up at all. Whenever people go crawling back to their exes it’s usually a symptom of a toxic relationship.

[BoopBoopBeep]

If I'm done with you, nothing is going to change that. The time for action would have been before it got that far.

[DaBiggestBird]

You’re dating worthless dick missiles and don’t know how to find a real man that respects you and treats you kindly.

[ChicoFromThe305]

You probably aren't worth crawling back too, how do you behave around them

[JayBones]

You don't have anything to offer. You are right to notice you are the common denominator. Change yourself.

[OddBeMe]

Too easy. There are men who look for easy sex and then ghost. Maybe stop falling for it.

[Billlewis]

You're probably being too nice to them.

[Asker]

True!! Gotta be a bitch

[Billlewis]

That's more like it;)

[Jamie05rhs]

Apparently you are doing a LOT of things wrong!

[Asker]

I agree lol

I’m learning

[Jamie05rhs]

Okay. That's good. 👍

[jahaims]

Sounds like you let them use you

[Asker]

They don’t get sex so no

[jahaims]

That isn't the only way to be used lol

[DextroShade]

You are probably insufferable.

[noohair]

You are not supplying enouth detail.

[pickles77]

How do things end?