Why do men take me for granted but when I move on and date other men they cry about it?

[Reemaa]

Through all my dating history. Same process happened. I’m honestly tired of this.
1) men feel attracted to me and they started chasing me.
2) in response to that, if there is a chemistry and i feel attracted to them. I fall in love with them too.
3) as time pass they take me for granted. Less contacts, sometimes they just cut off the whole communication and ghost me.
4) i feel hurt. But as days pass I move on and meet new men.
5) ex knows about what happened and played the victim and cry about it
5) same process repeats with another men 🔁. And that’s it
I’m tired of that. Sometimes i say maybe love is just not something for me.
I’m tired of hearing you were with the wrong men. No I wasn’t!
I’m so selective when it comes to dating and i only date men who i feel comfortable with them, have with them deep communication.

[Anonymous]

a lot of men are very sexual insecure. Especially, younger men. It's because of the tradional gender roles that a lot of misogynist like Andrew Tate and Jordan Peterson push.

a lot of women feel uncomfortable getting into relationships with men because a lot of women are judged and meant to feel uncomfortable about their sexuality.

Same with men. a lot those right wing guys complain about men being too feminine, but it's mostly right wing guys that have a crossdressing fetish. It turns them on because of the humiliation aspect of being emasculated.

Usually the ones who always have something to say about gay people and transgenderism have some homosexual tendencies. Whereas a regular straight guy doesn't really care that much about what gay or trans people do.

This whole pushing for tradional gender roles is making both men and women feel very insecure. If you look at the woman "justpearlythings" all her videos is nothing but self-hatred of herself and other women. She thinks women should be stay at home mom's and not have the right to vote. So she can appeal to insecure teenage boys or bitter old divorced men.

Male virginity is the highest it's ever been. And these guys who feel bitter and lash out at women and spread hate is only going to make it worst.

[lightbulb27]

How many times repeat? Repeating pattern means there is something with the chooser (you) that does not suit you. Sub conscious mind is what is making those "deep" connections. Must look inside your past to find what is drawing you to these men and creating these patterns. therapist can help, but it's really exporation of self... then work to heal wounds (emotional training/conditioning) that are in charge. Once change, new pattern can develop.

Other option... choose different men that you normally wouldn't choose.

[Reemaa]

Like 3 times.

[Reemaa]

All the men that i have dated don’t look the same or are the same.
I don’t look for anything specific when choosing someone. Like rich or tall or white.
I can’t also choose men who I don’t feel attracted to or I can’t have with them good conversation just so they can be different from the ones i dated before

[lightbulb27]

you need to do some learning about how attraction works and how things work. it's not about how they look outside. Where do "feelings" come from? I'm not convinced you understand how things work yet...
you are asking a question about how to change a pattern. You'll need to do some discovery and learning...

[Reemaa]

I didn’t understand what you mean. Can you explain that more?

[lightbulb27]

I had to learn over time why I had repeating patterns. It really isn't so complex, nor is it a mystery and can be learned.
You need to watch some videos or read books about the "sub conscious" mind. That is... the deeper inner programming you received when growing up. The emotional programming... whatever it was... and how it was interpreted by you/your personality... and especially things that were repeated, are very powerful! Emotions... you can read books about how these work... but they are there to give you instantinious answers. In short... those "feelings" and such are familiarity you can refer back to in childhood, possibly even passed along generations from others (Bible says that... seems true, don't have facts on it).
So... your childhood... how you viewed love, security, trust... whom your role models were, traumas... that is what is in control. So are curses, oaths and such. Anything emotionally meaningful to you. In the face of any question... those will rule whatever you are "thinking".

So when you see someone you are "attracted to"... part of that... is sub conscious relating to what is familiar in their sub conscious.
make sense yet?
There's something called "development stages of life"... that's helpful to find out where "wounds" and issues occur, so they can be corrected. Children's development can be inerrupted... sometimes that can go late into life, or never be found and addressed.
I'll have to sit and think about what you wrote, what little it is that I know, to see ifI can figure out what is going on. In some cases, I could figure it out with vey little info... because I'm familiar with the dysfunction. Your cases has not been obvious to me as yet.

[MissStrawberry912]

Can I messaged you mister lightbulb? You given me such a light bulb and I want some more psychological insights.

[lightbulb27]

Yes. Keep it respectful.

[lightbulb27]

I'd wonder when you fall in love, how do you interact with them? you say they lose interest but then are upset when you leave. I'd wonder if you are picking "weaker" men and if you have difficulty with intimacy and vulnerability. I'd wonder if your mother was very strong and father weak.

I'm taking guesses based upon little information. But that's how I'd go about figuring out what is going on. I'd also look at your behaviors in the Erickson Clark Stages of Development chart and see if you can find some common problems in yourself. As such, that would indicate at what ages you'd have developmental issues/delays.

Luck does not happen 3 times in a row... there's simply a pattern of behavior in yourself that you need to assess, rise above, and try again, to get different result. It's work though... and hard. What's inside of us is "hidden" from decades past.

[MissStrawberry912]

@lightbulb27 haha I’ve never had a man says that other than myself 😅😂 trust me it’s going to be in regards to relationship, psychological with attachment styles that you mentioned, and how it effect current relationships with others & yourself

[lightbulb27]

@MissStrawberry912 that's good. you just wouldn't believe the stuff men on this site get...

[NathanDavis]

"I fell in love too"

it seems to me, like they didn't fall in love with you in the first place... or at least you didn't mention that

they like why they see (looks) they chase... you go for the chemistry, I get that

but chemistry is not exactly, love...

but maybe you're not explaining it all... or you're just "falling in love" too quick, which is usually a lot less substantial

[Reemaa]

Lol. I’m talking about official relationships! They did fall in love with me

[Reemaa]

Chemistry and being comfortable are one of the things. But of course I don’t fall in love just because we have chemistry !

[Reemaa]

I’m a 15 year old teenager. I know what does love mean

[NathanDavis]

if you are a 15 year old... then you are way too young to be pessimistic

if you meant to say you are NOT a teen... you're still too young to be this pessimistic

just be more selective and more dedicated and stop dating chasers...

[Reemaa]

I’m NOT. *

[NathanDavis]

you're still young... so just be more selective, think about what you really want in a man, and then try to find that... don't just go with whoever chases after you

[Reemaa]

Lol who said i go with every man chased me ! ? . And again i am not 15 years old.

[NathanDavis]

not everyone who did... but all the man you've been with, did...

[ChicoFromThe305]

These men don't seem to be mature from what you are saying, they just don't seem to know how to keep a woman

[AmeerX]

Can't judge anyone on that but if men chase you and then ghost you and you move on.

How long do you want on them? And less contact doesn't necessarily mean they don't love you anymore. Could be due to less time on their hand?

[Reemaa]

They ghosted me for few months and come back

[AmeerX]

Few months? Wow, that is wrong of them. If someone loves you, he should not do that unless they have married you and they were in trouble like maybe out of reach of the world

[Reemaa]

😞. Tired of being alone

[AmeerX]

Do you give in to sex easily? If that's what you do may be they think you are not a good catch. Happens with thee morons

[Reemaa]

No I don’t give sex easily

[AmeerX]

You don't seem like an ugly girl. Why would anyone do it. Do you see a pattern? Maybe before they leave, is it because of arguments or something?

[Reemaa]

Lol. No i am not ugly and I don’t think it has anything to do with look. If so I won’t see many girls who are below average look and are happy and settled with good guys.

[AmeerX]

But still, it's mystery why would any guy be doing it. Do you get in fights or something?

[Reemaa]

I don’t know. I’m also shocked 😟.

[AmeerX]

Something is missing here. Maybe you need to date outwards. Seems like I understand why you like to date white men now

[Reemaa]

Yes 🙌🏻 thank you for reminding me that my society may play a role in that

[dudeinohio]

Typically, a person will go through several relationships during their lives. We can only do our best, when choosing a partner.

[Anonymous]

Love is fine but don't let them take you for granted...
Heart is fine but use brain.

[HouseMoat]

We want what we can't have