Can you really be just best friends?

[Anonymous]

I’m curious to have other men’s opinions.
If your best friend is a female.. is it really possible to be just that and not actually have feelings for her? Or do you typically fall in love with them?

[PizzaDaddyo]

Oh, I was recently in a situation, kinda. I’m a dude that’s not really flirtatious at all, 😑, suck with talking to women interested in. Don’t know why but, I tend to always have a crush on mainly one girl for long periods of time.


Let’s say I got a job at a food market over 5 years ago. I was 24yr starting out… she was in high school… HEAR ME OUT… I WASN’T INTERESTED AT THE TIME! Honestly, even at 24 I knew what I was looking for she didn’t really catch my eye at first. Funny side note, too me at least, she claimed to be a lesbian and kinda was bit a year but, I feel like that’s like half of every girl out there today, nbd.


Took time, but the past couple years I’ve gotten to learn more and more as she got know more I liked that and started developing feelings. We’re on social media and after a good hand full of messages she claims that we’re “best friends?” in person. I really think I friend zoned myself in that moment. I said yeah at the time but inside it was annoying to hear bc it sounds like a maybe, when I wanna hear “baby, I love you”😘. This was just me over thinking and want to share how we overthink.


Weeks later it was just after Christmas and at work she stops me and ask me if she can “ask me something”.. My heart thumping, I said ,”Sure.” She starts with, “So there’s this guy named John Doe… (I died inside while hearing the rest)… John Doe drunk texted me… I wanna have “fun” with John Doe even tho he’s got a girlfriend … (I visited hell for a second) At this point I don’t know if she knew how I really felt on the inside but I must assume she can’t read minds and she was asking me for help as a friend but how could I be in any service for advice advising my crush to bang horny cheater. I remember stumbling away from answering this one which is easy to do at a busy work environment.


Sorry for the long story this is all with one girl too but, as a single man. It’d would be uneasy for me to have a strong platonic relationship with the opposite sex as a 29yr male. I mean I want both platonic and romance and it’s so difficult to try the platonic thing first as a man because I guy is, I assume, expected to do all of the initiating. I think for any human being men or female, it’s not going to be easy to risk losing a friend for a romantic partner. But sometimes that risk is worth fighting for. Be both a lover and a fighter (I stole that last part from Keanu Reeves.)🤭

[Anonymous]

It is possible to be just friends with someone of the opposite gender without having romantic feelings for them. Many people have platonic friendships with members of the opposite gender that are fulfilling and enjoyable without any romantic or sexual attraction.

However, it's important to recognize that every friendship is unique, and feelings can develop over time. It's possible that platonic feelings can turn into romantic ones, and vice versa. It's important to approach any friendship with honesty, respect, and clear communication to avoid misunderstandings or hurt feelings.

If you're concerned about developing romantic feelings for a friend of the opposite gender, it may be helpful to establish clear boundaries and communication around your friendship, and to be honest with yourself and your friend about your feelings as they develop.

Remember, every friendship and relationship is unique, and it's important to approach each one with an open mind and a willingness to learn and grow together.

[Finchie40]

Yes if their is No Attraction involved , sadly that usually isn’t the case one usually likes the other more or they both start having deeper feelings for each other , I had girl friends that I looked at just as friends but one thing lead to another and we ended up in bed , so that’s why it’s complicated to have opposite sex friends , especially when you are already in a relationship with someone , it’s best to limit your friendship with the opposite sex when you are committed to someone because it can cause havoc in your relationship

[Keyboardkat]

I think it's very difficult for a man to have a close, but platonic, friendship with a woman over a long period of time. A man's sexual urge is very strong, which is why men usually chase women, not the other way around (there are exceptions, of course). There will always be at least some sexual tension the air, unless he loses interest because he found another woman who excites him, and he can remain friends with the first one.

[WindAtMyBack]

It's completely possible.

However if he already had a crush on her, and gets friend zoned, that's a whole different story. In that situation he would probably never be satisfied with just being friends. Those guys are not capable of just being friends and need to move on.

[ChillaxingLove]

The only way for you to just be friends is this:

• you both are in a relationship with someone
• Both of you don’t find the other attractive

if it don’t fall under these circumstances it’s going to happen one day you or they will want more then friendship. That’s is someone don’t come along first before it happens. This isn’t news lol I don’t know why this is so hard to know.

it’s not a bad thing friends before lovers is actually a strong foundation.

[exitseven]

I did have a female friend and for a while she really was my best friend. I was in a relationship with someone else at the time. Truthfully sometimes I wondered if we could be more than friends and sometimes she would wonder the same thing. We never wondered at the same time.

[AdithyaR]

So here's the thing, I'm pansexual, aka I can be attracted to someone regardless of their gender.
So if the opposite sex can't be friends were true, I wouldn't be able to have any friends due to risk of developing feelings. Yet I have friends who are guys, girls and non binary, have maintained perfectly healthy platonic relationships.
So yes it's possible.

[Jamie05rhs]

That's impossible.

If a man is heterosexual -- such as myself -- we want to have a romantic relationship with a woman. One woman. And SHE will be my best friend.

So I can't be best friends with some other random woman. Because that would be being disloyal to MY woman!

[Anonymous]

Yes. But you can't cross the line. Women are generally exploitative. They start off being friends with a guy then at some point she tries to exploit the friendship for her own personal benefit and that changes the dynamics. Then she may try to go back to the way it was and that typically not possible. Women that have trouble being friends with guys typically have the problem because they simply don't know how to have a platonic friendship with males without exploiting them.

[richardcory]

Honestly.. its sort of possible. I have good female friends, but there is some romantic even sexual attraction hiding there in the background. I'd never act on it, but its there.

[TheSpaceGnome]

It's very rare that a woman who shares a guy's hobbies is physically attractive enough to not get permanently friendzoned. So falling in love in that situation is the exception, not the rule.

[Vikkrram]

I would definitely would be a best friend for her. If i would have feelings for her then i would have definitely try to tell her.

[zagor]

Yes you can. I know a number of instances where this is the case. So don't believe those who claim otherwise - that is like claiming that no one has been to Disneyland just because you haven't been there.

[MysticDevice]

It is definitely possible to be just friends. While yes it can be tricky and usually one ends up falling for the other, That simply hasn't happened in my case.

[clampfan101]

Guys who say it’s impossible simply aren’t trying. Some guys can, and some people are ok with their partner having a casual friend of the opposite sex.

[RavVid]

Can do. But as a friend you get to know them and that is usually enough to kill romantic thoughts.

[Ben487]

It's possible. I'm sure he would hit on you on occasion but you can make it clear its friends or nothing.

[MysteriousDarkness]

Regardless of sexual orientation or romance orientation it is possible. Anyone who disagrees with what I said then prove me 100% wrong.

[Anonymous]

You can be best friends with the opposite sex. Unfortunately, you can't do that AND be in a relationship at the same time, because it's gonna cause problems.

[Matt5349]

Yes a guy can be just friends although a lot of times we are just friends till we have the opportunity to move in n in most cases it's just for sex not a full relationship but other guys can be just friends

[gorydetails]

I've had very close friends that were women. I would have had sex with them if they initiated.

[LiamJHayden]

Yes it is possible, but we've been best friends since I was 4 and she was 5, so we are more like siblings.

[Luopio27]

It onlyworks if neither one is not or won't get attracted to other, or sevelope higher level feelings.

[In_Trance]

When she says "we're just friends"

[Jamie05rhs]

The nose ring says it all.

[Surely]

I wouldn’t say that I would not have that thought. But I do have female friends that I respect and would not try anything sexual with.

[Anonymous]

Only women believe this.
Men (even those who tell you differently) know that no straight male EVER make time in his life (outside of forced social context) to text or hang out with a female he isn’t sexually interested in.

[Freyke]

It's possible for me. And my girlfriend is okay with it.

[HippieVeganJewslim]

We can be just best friends, no problem. About half of my comrades are women.

[AydenHazor]

Most of my closest friends are female and we are absolutely only friends.

[Greenbins]

Yes absolutely. I have done it many times.. I have 2 female friends that we are just friends and nothing more.

[Anonymous]

Yeah I can, had this best friend we would do everything togheter, even massage ourselves, she never minded my errection I never acted on it we would just be happy and had amazing energy between us