Been dating this guy for 6 weeks. Seen him 5 times. We haven’t had piv sex. Lots of kissing and hugging. But he doesn’t text me as much as I hoped for. This is our most recent chat. He hasn’t planned a date for over a week now. I want to see him but he is always so busy.
He told me when I asked, that he’s not in a rush for a relationship. Does that mean I should give up on him?
Updates
1 y
Also he doesn’t really text me that often. It’s usually at the end of the day. And very brief. I’m obsessed with him now, but he doesn’t seem to feel the same. He’s always online but never messages me :(
What does it mean if a guy says he’s not in a rush to get into a relationship?
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Anonymous
(30-35)
1 y
I think you’re eager to be in a relationship already, not obsessed. The problem with this attachment style is that as a result, you are brushing off the red flags and that’s so unhealthy. You are also preventing yourself from making smart decisions, like knowing when to stop. From an outside view, this man does not sound romantically available. He’s very busy, not engaged and doesn’t seem interested in investing in you outside of the occasional check-in. Keeping your standards/boundaries in tact, you know this isn’t the sort of dating style that works for you. After only a month, you should be able to accept this and walk away rather than settle. Patience will not kill you and he won’t be the only man you feel connected to, so wait for the right one. It’s not him.
He may have been hurt by people in his past relationships, likely because he rushed-in. Maybe, he feels as though you and he have something really good, so he wants to take his time and not make the same mistakes as before?
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Asker
1 y
He did tell me that he has some trauma from a previous long term relationship. So maybe your right
As far as the texting goes, some guys prefer actual conversations over the phone or in person as texts can be taken out of context and then people become disconnected.
I know I can only text maybe a few times, if it looks like a conversation piece starting, then I always prefer to hear her sweet voice.
@Asker calling is not the same of talking by person, expecially for men (it's mostly girls who use the phone). I have never called my ex, we preferred to talk by person everytime, or by chat.
He sent a kiss emoji. As the other guy said, he's probably scared to rush due to previous relationship trauma. If he was not interested in you he would have not send that simple kiss emoji.
We haven’t really discussed our interests in detail. I doubt we share the same hobbies. I’m a fashion designer and I like being active and dancing. He’s a workaholic. He hasn’t discussed his hobbies with me.
I think I just find his aura and looks really really attractive. We’re very drawn to each other physically. But emotionally I’m not so sure.. :(
Interests and hobbies have to be similar or the relationship is doomed to fail.
You cannot connect emotionally well enough to stay a couple if you can't relate to them and you don't spend most of your free time with them. You need similarities in interests/hobbies to do either.
Auras don't exist, you need to base your relationship on reality, not mystical garbage.
Lots of people look good, if looks alone were enough, I'd have been married at 18.
Dancing is not a hobby, hobbies are personality defining activities, good music can make just about anyone move to it, dancing to x type of music would be personality defining though, so for that liking the same music is the personality definer.
Fashion design is an artistic hobby, so an artistic/creative person would see it as interesting provided you aren't boring about it (basic model fashion tends to be boring, cosplay would be an example of not boring, basically less creativity = boring).
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