How can I ask a guy out in my early 20s?

[Anonymous]

I've asked a guy out in high school by walking up to him and tapping his shoulder and saying “I hav a crush on you.” I feel like there's a different approach to asking people out as an adult. How would I go about it? In what setting? (Grocery store, mall, resturant etc)

[Anonymous]

I commend on you on actually being bold enough to do that, maybe say hi, and introduce yourself and ask his name and that you find him attractive and wondering if he is single

[In_Trance]

Do it just like you see in that picture

[Asker]

Would it work with u? 🤔

[CarolinaJones]

I guess you can approach them in a friendly way. And ask them out for a cup of coffee or something from the food bar/ truck. You can initiate conversation during this meal. Later you can ask for their phone and ask them out. Or some girls I've seen in social media, do a simple thing if the man is busy or is walking off somewhere. They say, "I think you're cute, may I have your number?"

[Asker]

Thank you, very helpful

[humanearth]

Do the same thing, it still works for people of any age

[Asker]

Interesting take! I have been interested in u for the past couple of days, do u want to get lunch with me sometime?

[humanearth]

That's perfect

[Asker]

It a date 🌹

[MysticDevice]

Well, when you learn the secret to dating in your 20s be sure to let me know

[Asker]

😂 i dont wanna come off as desperate when asking them out. Nor, do i wanna interrupt them when they r busy. Do u think its easier for girls to ask out guys then guys asking out girls? 🙂

[MysticDevice]

I'm willing to bet its easier for girls to ask guys out.

I don't mean that its any less nerve wracking just that you're more likely to be successful when doing the asking

[Asker]

Yeah i agree.

[TheSpaceGnome]

No, you can still do the same thing as an adult. The setting should be anywhere where no one else is currently close by, and you should know the person well first.

[Asker]

Knowing them first, as in walking up to a stranger with small talk. how are you, age?, where u from? Cuz if i see an attractive man, the type u will think about for the rest of the day, i probably wouldn't pass on that lol

[TheSpaceGnome]

Hitting on strangers is dumb, and small talk is boring.

I meant knowing them first as in you are already friends or were at least observing them talk about stuff they like long enough to know their personality, hobbies, interests, etc.

If you are just going based on looks alone, don't even bother hitting on him unless you are a walking billboard for his personality type (wearing clothing showcasing your hobbies and interests that also happen to be his).

It's very offputting to any guy who is wanting a serious relationship, to be hit on by a stranger they know nothing about, it makes her seem like the whore/slut/high body count type, because of how she isn't bothering to learn about a guy before wanting him (ie she just has sex on her mind and nothing else).

The only guys who are accepting of women doing that, are the type who will get you pregnant and then run.

[TheSpaceGnome]

You could be e-girl cosplayer level gorgeous, and if you asked me out without knowing a damn thing about me, I'd see you doing that as such a huge red flag, that I'd reject you on the spot, just to avoid a future of getting cheated on, divorced, having to pay child support, or catching some kind of disease.

[Asker]

Buddy u dont even know me and u got
Me mixed up with other girls u smashed. My body count is less than two. How do u think u make friends? By walking up to someone u dont know and initiating a conversation 😂 it is a chance to ask out someone to get to know them ✌🏼

[TheSpaceGnome]

I haven't smashed anyone, still a virgin, I don't trust bc or condoms and I don't want kids.

No sane person hits on someone to get to know them, thats just weird.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Also I make friends by doing social hobbies.

[Asker]

36 virgin speaks volume

[TheSpaceGnome]

I'm sure to you it does, and likely is way off the mark as to why.

[Asker]

Definitely. What are you doing after this? I was wondering if we can get coffee sometime?

[TheSpaceGnome]

I don't drink coffee.

Also I don't know anything else about you other than you ask out strangers you know nothing about, and had sex at least once, both of which are not helping your case.

I also only date women who are atheists, don't want or have kids, don't drink, smoke, or do other drugs, and are artistically talented, and are good at video games, and like animals, anime/cartoons, sci-fi, science, and fantasy, so if thats not the case, I'm not interested.

[Asker]

I only asked out one stranger in my
Life and it went well. So u clearly have me misunderstood. You missed out on an opportunity TheSpaceGnome

Love, anonymously

[TheSpaceGnome]

No I didn't.

If it were actually an opportunity and not just a trolling, you would have made some attempt to prove that, because you would have seen a male version of yourself in the questions and answers I provided on the site, or at least in the list I posted, then you would have DMed me about yourself or mentioned it here.

You did none of that, you did not even confirm nor deny if you fit anything on the above list. You can't remain anon, provide no information about yourself, ignore a "are you any of this" list, and then tell a guy he "lost his chance", and expect to be taken seriously.

[slatyb]

Just say hello. Talk is he engages, invite him for coffee or lunch or whatever

[Asker]

Its the simplest thing, I got to work on my anxiety.

[slatyb]

It goes away quickly if you just start saying hello.

[Asker]

I agree slatyb, say, what is ur name? I was wondering if i could get ur number?

[Static_In_The_Attic]

In life if you never try you will never know & as for you well done.

[Anonymous]

Good question. I don't get hit on by many women so hard for me to say.

[Anonymous]

Buy using your mouth. It's pretty simple. Letters make words. Words make sentences. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Why do I get the feeling women like this will forever be at the minority

[Anonymous]

i just go up to girls in public and say i got a boner

[Asker]

Is that how u ask out women

[QWXWXQ]

2Are you going to high school at 20?

[Asker]

No. 😂 im just saying asking out people is way diff in the real world then in school. Remember in middleschool when boys would pass a note with “yes” or “no” 💀 😂 it was cute back then, but i an’t so sure if they were 20 now