Girls never ask me out?

[Anonymous]

Im an average looking guy, I have never been asked out by a girl, i never had a girlfriend. Am i too unattractive to get a girlfriend.

[Effably]

From one guy to another, while looks is the absolute strongest cheat-code there is, most guys look okay. Not oh-my-god-so-hot or oh-god-what-is-with-his-face but okay.

If you, like most men, are somewhere in the okay range what matters most is no longer your looks but your appeal and demeanor. Be interesting, intriguing, exciting, an enigma! Yes. Those are the words that actually matter. You're meant to be someone she is curious about. That is what it takes.

Of course dress, groom and present yourself well anyway, it helps A LOT and because many men don't we get absurd payoff for little effort.

But do not get stuck on your looks when most likely a smile you practice 15 minutes in the mirror, paired with a suggestive hello and glancing over her unabashedly is likely to be all it takes.

[Asker]

i will just start asking people out

[Effably]

Nah. That's starting at the finish-line. You'll get demoralised if it backfires.

Start flirting instead. Innocently and then with more nuance as you get comfortable. When that all feels fun and safe, when you've figured out how being desired really feels, then start asking girls out.

Or you know, if it feels right. Instincts are always boss.

[chrissykerdock]

you sound like a woman... did you ever think of asking out a girl yourself... you always write about waiting for a girl or looking at a girl but you don't talk to them or ask any out

[IAmAzzurra]

You’re only 19, I wouldn’t worry about it.

Also, for a girl to ask a guy out, she has to have seen enough about you to want to spend time with you

[Asker]

should i just ask girls out instead

[IAmAzzurra]

If you want to. It’s not something people should overthink.
If you like a girl, you should go and talk to her. You have nothing to lose and it’s not like you need to find one specific person. Get to know lots of girls if you want.
Nobody can wait for life to come to them. It doesn’t work that way.