Why do my female friends tell me to never ask out guys?

[Anonymous]

Honeslty if I never did I wouldn't have any boyfriends because it's not often guys will ask me out

[VanillaSalt]

Women asking men out is like them paying 50/50 on dates… it’s a compromise. If you accept the compromise you give up and allow yourself to lose what you really want.


So the question is… do we accept datings changes and compromise so that women get men with no balls and men get women with more balls then them or do we strive for what we want?

[Asker]

I feel like I'm always going to be single alias not that often guys will go further to ask me out

[VanillaSalt]

Why do you think that is?

[Asker]

I have no idea why I wish I knew

[VanillaSalt]

Do you feel it’s you? Maybe your not pretty enough, feminine enough, approachable enough? Perhaps you get asked and say no cause their not your type? Maybe it’s men arnt brave enough, maybe men don’t think their allowed to approach you? Maybe it feel like men ain’t interested in any women including you.

[Asker]

I don't feel like I'm ugly I get a lot of attention and they have stopped me to tell me I'm pretty

[Asker]

I've had a guy in Toronto run after me and a guy on the subway absolutely begging for my number, literally everywhere I went but they were probably just after sex

[Asker]

I also remember at the airport these 2 guys looking me up and down hitting to have sex in the bathroom

[VanillaSalt]

Thanks for MHO. If every guy is looking at you like that it’s either something your doing or wearing making you attract these guys or it’s the guys you notice that are doing it cause all men do not look at women in the way you mentioned. Well actually you could be assuming what these men want based off your own personal expectations.

[Asker]

I wasn't wearing anything slutty at all

[VanillaSalt]

The only way your perception has you thinking men are like that is if you give off that kinda aura. All men are not like that. Most men are not like that. Only some… a very small percentage of men in fact are like that.

It’s your fault. I don't know what your doing but it’s your fault YOU THINK men are like that. Your perceptions off… your experiences are skewed… your expectations as to what men are or should be are wrong… It is mathematically IMPOSSIBLE that any significant percentage of men think of you that way… if the problem is always everyone else then it’s really you.

[serious]

Let them tell whatever they want too. In my view there is nothing wrong if a woman wants to ask a guy out.

On the contrary a guy would appreciate the woman's courage and effort.

[Asker]

Yes why wait around for the guy all the time

[serious]

Yes. That is a good attitude you have

[Asker]

Haha I just hope he will come he is really nerdy type also but I liked his personality

[serious]

Yes, if you can handle and tolerate the fact that he is nerdy, which means he will not be a typical extrovert, he will be a homie, indoor type of guy who will mostly be content being inside his house and watching movies, TV, reading or playing games on PC, iPhone etc.

However, nerdy type of guys will be knowledgeable so he can help you understand things if you need.

If you can handle the fact that he will be who he is and not expect him to change his ways for whatever reason then nerdy type of guys are one of the best type of guys to be with.

[Asker]

Im wanting to message him but not sure what to say really 🤔 🤣 I'm tempted to just say "hey we should meet up got any idea what to do in this city" I'm fairly new here

[serious]

I think that is a good message to send him.

[mermaidcancermoon]

Because they prefer Dominant assertive men and believe that ALL men should ask women out to prove their interests.

Just do as you please and ignore

[Asker]

I never get guys asking me out although i get a lot of attention when I'm out

[mermaidcancermoon]

I get asked out in public a couple times a month. However, those guys aren't much different than online dates, so you aren't missing out. Do what you want, some men prefer assertive women.

[Asker]

Yes I the same as you not much different from the online ones... mostly a waste of time in my experience. I'm just gonna go for it I always get told he's a nice guy so

[one1wild00]

They are the old school gals thinking guys always have to ask gals out. it can work both ways, You are fine.

[Asker]

I mean I met this guy through a friend so I'm going to ask him as we don't normally see each other often

[one1wild00]

Then go ahead and ask him, see what happens.

[Asker]

Yeah I'll be single for ever more if I don't tbh

[one1wild00]

I'd be kind of curious what you are like.

[Asker]

Why is that

[one1wild00]

Because I happen to be looking for a 20's or 30's gal, and am curious what you are like, and where you'd be located but would rather DM

[athlete_7]

Women want to be spproached dont they