How to improve yourself as far as approaching women?

[Anonymous]

I feel like no guys are like me. I’m so painfully shy that I can’t approach women. More women have probably approached me

Updates

+1 y

Than me approaching them*

[Anonymous]

Yeah I can tell you how to easily overcome that issue. Your issue is this:
"I’m so painfully shy that I can’t approach women."

That is a paradigm problem. You are programmed to be that way. You desire to alter your programming. Let's forget about the skill aspect of this and focus on the programming.

I'm sure you have a basic understanding of habits. They require no conscious effort. However things you are endeavoring to make habit DO require conscious effort.
Are system does not like that. It wastes a lot of energy.

The subconscious mind communicates through feelings. I can translate what your subconscious is telling you. This is what it is telling you:
It's telling you, you are not worthy of girls.

Now is it really saying that? No, it communicates by feelings. But you can translate those feelings into a number of things and that is one of them. I'd have to spend more time with you to know the exact reason.

How do you alter your programming?

Well for your specific problem it's pretty easy; in fact, I've done it. I did it many years ago.

Here is what you need to do:

• Approach girls (now I know that sounds fucking ridiculous considering you have a problem with that)I'm going to tell you how to by pass the conditioning.
  When you see a girl you want to approach, go approach her immediately without thinking. Do not think. If you pause your will activate certain shit in your brain and it will try to stop you.
  
  As you keep doing this over and over the fear will go away. It'll be like you are literally a different person.
  
  I recommend creating a way of process rejection too. Key point being that strangers don't really know you and so they are a horrible judges. Also they may just not be in the mood. You never know why. Don't sit there thinking you're the problem. Don't take it personal. Most people have no clue what they are doing when picking a mate anyway. In fact, I wouldn't even approach girls expecting anything until you alter your paradigm. The skill part will come if you just analysis you interactions and get come comfortable.

Don't go looking for any other answer. This is the answer. I did it myself on this exact problem and I've studied the science of this stuff for years. It works.

[Telekinetic-Potato]

Go up to woman, start a conversation about anything, even if it starts off awkward, it doesn't really matter. This is a skill and needs to be practiced.

If she's attracted to you, she's probably going to look past some awkwardness. The important part is to connect on a friendly and somewhat sexual level.

The more you do it, the more your confidence will go up.

[Nikki1989]

Step out of your comfort zone and fix yourself. No one can do it for you.

[FilmGuy93]

You do it by approaching women with the sole intention of enjoying your conversation with them. I don't approach women with romantic intentions. They can sense that that will relax themselves around me. That relaxation, ironically, makes a romantic connection more likely down the road.

[Asker]

Well if your looking for a relationship and there’s a girl you like then romantic intentions are okay lol

[FilmGuy93]

That adds a ton of pressure though, and you don't really know if you want to date the woman until you've gotten to know her better in that context.

[Asker]

Yeah I wait until several months in most cases

[Curmudgeon]

Oh my, LOTS of guys are (or were) like you (it takes a former one to know one), but the question is: what are you going to do about it? Because your strategy (or lack thereof) is not working.

[LiamJHayden]

You just do it and get used to hearing "No." a lot. Some of us have to take a lot of swings to get a hit, but if you don't swing you don't get any hits.

[slatyb]

Try getting some counseling for your social anxiety and low self-esteem.

[Anonymous]

practice i guess? you have to put yourself out there and try