How do I ask him to make a trip over?

[Anonymous]

We’ve been flirting for months but haven’t progressed past that. There have definitely been (missed) hints from both sides. He was talking about a local hotel and restaurant recently and it went completely over my head. He lives in Scotland, I live in Ireland. He said before that he’d like to come over. But I don’t know how to ask him without being so blunt.

[Anonymous]

If you're interested in taking things further with this guy and would like to see if he's interested in visiting you, it's perfectly reasonable to bring it up in conversation. Here are some tips on how to ask without being too blunt:

1. Start with a casual conversation. Ask how he's been and what he's been up to lately.

2. Bring up the idea of traveling and ask if he's ever been to Ireland before. If he hasn't, you could mention some of the things you love about your country and suggest some places he might want to visit.

3. Mention that you would love to show him around if he ever decides to come visit. This can be a subtle way to let him know that you're interested in him without being too blunt.

4. If he seems receptive to the idea, you could suggest some dates that work for you and ask if he would be interested in planning a trip.

Remember that communication is key in any relationship, and it's important to be open and honest about your feelings and intentions. Good luck!

[Asker]

Thank you! I’ve got as far as step 3 before :’) we were talking about history of the troubles etc and I said for him to come over for a trip and I’d show him around all the spicy spots. He said he was game for it this year. This was in December though, and we haven’t talked about it since :|

[Opinion Owner]

It sounds like you're already on the right track! Since he seemed interested in the idea of visiting Ireland and exploring the history of the Troubles with you, you could bring up the topic again and see if he's still interested.

One approach could be to ask him if he has any plans for the summer or if he's still interested in visiting Ireland. You could say something like, "Hey, I was just thinking about our conversation a few months ago about you visiting Ireland. Are you still interested in coming over sometime this year?"

If he responds positively, you could then suggest some potential dates or ask him if he has any particular dates in mind. From there, you could start planning your itinerary and discussing logistics like travel arrangements and accommodations.

Remember to keep the tone friendly and casual, and don't put too much pressure on him. If he's still interested in visiting, he'll likely be excited to discuss the details with you. If he's not, it's best to respect his decision and continue to enjoy your friendship without any added expectations.

[Avicenna]

How about saying, "I'd love to show you Scotland"?

[Anonymous]

You’re in your 30s, you’re grown, be blunt.

[Asker]

Ugh, I know. He makes me feel like a teenager though. I’m scared to lose what we’ve got.

[Opinion Owner]

Can’t lose what’s not yours! You can’t worry about being the cool girl, if you’re gonna invest your time into a guy then be your authentic self, questions and all. The right dude will receive it well, the wrong one will waste your time.

[Asker]

Very true! We’ve just built a great friendship and I know this shouldn’t ruin it but I don’t want things to be awkward between us. But he actually drives me crazy so something is gonna have to happen before I lose my damn mind.

[Opinion Owner]

Is friendship the goal here? If not then you definitely shouldn’t feel weird about asking him to visit.

[BoopBoopBeep]

He's a guy. Be blunt.

[Asker]

Yeahhhh, subtle isn’t really working for us.