The guy I’m dating is being distant - What do I do?

[athenarosexxx]

I’ve been seeing this guy for 6 months and the past 3 days he’s been very off with me. He won’t call me back, it’s not like he won’t text me though. I’ll ask him what’s going on and he says nothing and that he loves me and that he’s just busy and If something was going on with me he’d tell me. Which I do believe because he’s the most brutally honest person I’ve ever came across. He can be painfully honest and not care.

I know what he’s like and if somethings bothering him he usually just calls to tell me so I’m so confused? My mind is jumping to conclusions saying there’s another woman but I can’t say that as we aren’t even together. He told me he’d call me back last night at 10pm and he didn’t, he just messaged me this morning do I ignore it? He’s being very distant the past few days so do I just go distant back? When I ask he just says nothing. I’ll admit I do everything for him I’m so nice and I can see why he’d take me for granted. I don’t know what to do shall I stop calling him and stop responding and see if he actually cares? He has stopped smoking marijuana since last week and I feel like it’s making him go weird since he smoked it since he was 10 years old and he’s now 26 but I don’t know if that could be it! I’ve asked and he says I’m overthinking it and he is busy? Shall I just match his energy and stop calling him.

[itsalyssaagain]

Ah girl reading this has pissed me off because its happened to me before and the gaslighting is nooooot it.


You have every right to be concerned and you’re not “overthinking” it.


You’ve tried to communicate about it with him and he’s shut you off. From your side you’ve done the right thing. It’s never ok to leave you hanging like that.


Ok I’m gonna be real honest with you, coming from someone who’s been in this situation before so many times!!!


First of all in my experience, it never goes well with men like this. So I’d say you have something to be worried about. I don't know what’s going on and I’m not saying there’s another woman I’m just saying men like this are unreliable and will likely break your heart. They’re selfish.


The next thing I’d say is — why are you committed to a guy that you’ve been seeing for SIX MONTHS yet you’re still not in a relationship!!! Why does it take him SIX MONTHS to decide if he wants to he with you? You’re giving him all the benefits that come with a relationship but you aren’t receiving anything in return because he doesn’t want you to. You can’t be worried if he’s talking to other women because “you’re not really together”. Miss me with that bullshit! Six months and you’re emotionally invested. I’d say you’re together. Fuck that.


Secondly - if he said he will call you at 10pm and he didn’t you MUST punish him for that. Don’t let it slide. You should call him out for it or ignore his text until he calls you and apologises for not calling at the agreed time with a proper reason as to why he didn’t. A man who cannot stick to his word is a waste. And let me tell you something — it starts with a phone call but then it will be something else. And he will disappoint you.


What’s happening here is you’re being disrespected. You must set your boundary.

[athenarosexxx]

Yeah he never sticks to his word I can’t rely on him, I’ll make him food and he won’t even turn up to my house and he’ll fall asleep sometimes. I don’t know why I even like him I think it’s because im carrying his child so it’s really hard for me to set boundaries because I feel very vulnerable right now and he knows I’m not really gonna leave. Shall I speak to him about this or do I just ignore him I’m not really sure what works best now a days.

[athenarosexxx]

Normally he’s great on the phone he always calls me first but the past 3 days it’s been me, yeah he calls me back within seconds but he hasn’t called me. I get people get busy but it does annoy me and mayhe I should just stick up for myself and say something about it

[itsalyssaagain]

If you set a boundary and if he likes you, he will change his ways. Show him through actions and not words that this isn’t acceptable. Men only get away with what we allow them to

[athenarosexxx]

What actions do u suggest? I feel like words never get to him because I say it in quite a soft manner. Yeah I do let him get away with a lot

[itsalyssaagain]

For example if you agree to talk or meet at a certain time and he doesn’t show up, don’t make time for him when he eventually shows up unless he apologises. You don’t even need to make it into an argument just say you were busy

[OldWomanBySoul]

Just make sure he knows you'll be there with whatever he's going through if he wants to talk about it but give him space. If he's going through something then it won't last forever, if he's cheating then you're better off without him anyway. But don't jump to conclusions, personally I get sometimes super detached and stray away from everyone for a good week. Nothing is wrong per se but just need down time. Plus the stopping smoking part is definitely a thing, my friend stopped smoking weed and he was moody and pissy for a good month since was a long time user and it helped him relax. No need to match his energy, I think it could make things way worse but just try to refrain from calling and if anything text him and let him answer when he does. Wait around a little while and if things doesn't change and he still acts this way then maybe you can confront him but for now keep calm. That's all advice I can give from side lines lol

[Joker_]

I think you need to try to close the distance. You know, you need to shorten the distance. Get closer distance-wise

[boggboss]

So u trust him and think he is honest but think their is another women?

[athenarosexxx]

I don’t know I just don’t see other reasons that he would be distant? Social media just tells u it’s always another woman. He is quite a distant person as it is but I’m driving myself insane

[boggboss]

Lol so being busy is not a thing it's always he is cheating

[athenarosexxx]

Yeah

[boggboss]

Well u need help then because u clearly ain't ready for a relationship

[Anonymous]

I was thinking he lost interest before I read that he stopped smoking weed after a long time of smoking. Things like that really take a psychological toll on a person. If I were you, I would put in as much effort as he putting out “matching his energy”. The worst thing you could do is over play your part. That will push him away further.

[athenarosexxx]

I always think at first oh he lost interest but I know what he’s like and when he has a problem he will tell me, In fact he’s very mean about if I’ve annoyed him. Until he told me he stopped smoking if kind of all added up, I didn’t add it in the text as I didn’t think it was relevant but I am having his child and the reason he’s stopped is because of that.

[TracyF]

Are you seriously telling me that when your man quits an addiction he has had for 16 years, you can't figure out that that causes the problem? I can see why he's distant.

[poetic_pisces]

Give him and yourself a break

Don't beg for his time or attention

[TheAfrikan]

Basically take it slow and do give him some space it seems he needs time to be with him not you.

[es20490446e]

Use technology only to arrange dates.

[Onashir]

Giving Awsome blow job always help

[WhoKnoes6780]

This guy knows 🧠

[Onashir]

Truth

[shades777]

close the distance

[In_Trance]

talk to him about it