Just wondering what people's thoughts are?

[Anonymous]

At what stage into a relationship would you consider moving in?

And how do men who have their own homes manage that situation if their partner is younger and doesn't have their own house?
Does it affect you wanting to do such a move?
Asking because I've been with someone for a year and 2 months and I want to live together in the future, but it's not looking like a possibility as he doesn't look to want to move or relocate etc

[BoopBoopBeep]

I think "when" is really dependent on the people. 3 months? A year? Depends on where they are in life.

Why do I care if my partner is younger and doesn't have a home if she's moving in with me? I don't understand that part of the question.

I'm where I'm staying. If she wants to move in she's welcome to, if she doesn't want to live here then we can part ways and I wish her well. I don't see an issue.

[Asker]

My partner is 40, and I'm 29. He makes a point of me living with family and not being able to see me in my own environment.
He refuses to visit my home and hasn't met my family.
He makes a big deal where as I'm the same as you. Why does that matter, he makes out like I don't have my own space

[BoopBoopBeep]

Hmm... does your family have an issue with the age difference? Do they know about him? Do they like him? have they invited him over or shunned him?

He does have a point that if you're living with your family it's not the same as on your own, but I don't see that as an automatic deal breaker.

[Asker]

No my family don't have an issue with the age difference. I'm actually not close to my family. Don't see my mum an dad often, infact over a year now. Don't see my siblings, and my brother (the one I live with) is never home. So technically I have the house to myself. My bro has been home twice in the past month for example. I plan to find my own place, but he's even being funny about my location. Wants it to be in a city like half an hour away rather then driving 40 mins which is what I always do to his.
If me an my family where closer an I lived with them, then he would've been invited over. But that's not my reality, I live a secluded life without much input from friends an family

[BoopBoopBeep]

What's the difference between the city 30min away and where you are now at 40? That hardly seems like much a difference. He'll drive 30 minutes but not 40? Or you're saying he wants you to move into his place, which is 40 minutes away? If that's the case, why do you care, by your own admission you aren't anchored to family where you are. Move to wherever. I'm not trying to be dense I sweat, I just feel like I'm still missing something.

[Asker]

No he hasn't asked me to move in with him. He wants me to move to the City, as there's more to do there. Where as, I'm a small town girl. Prefer to be away from noise etc.
I don't know why the distance matters. But since I've always travelled to him, I find him a little lazy an can't imagine him travelling to see me often. For example, when I didn't have a car for a week. He said we couldn't see each other even though he could've offered to meet me or pick me up. I think he is set in his ways with things sometimes

[BoopBoopBeep]

I think he's trying to relocate you to a place you won't run into his other side chick.

If he's not asking you to move in with him he's got no say in where you move. I'm not a city person either, so I gotcha. I'm not going to live in one with my S. O. i'm sure not going to live in one without them because they said so.

[Ben487]

My brother got serious with his girl friend and moved her into his home. She stayed a few nights a week and then overtime she was just there all the time. Then they got married and now she lives with him obviously. Same thing happened with my Dad.

My Sister moved into her boyfriends house and then shortly after that they too got married. I think eventually the guy is just going to invite you to stay. If that doesn't happen then he is just having a good time with you and doesn't want a wife.

[Ben487]

In all of those situations the transition happened quicker than two years

[Xoxocutekitty]

Most people that I know move in roughly 8 -18 months of knowing each other. You're probably not moving in with someone you're dating 6 months, but if your lease happens to be up 8 months into a very regular secure relationship, that's when people are pretty okay making the leap.

If you're dating seriously and basically at each other's house 5-6x a week, then it just makes sense to pay 1 rent instead of 2.

This assumes there are no kids in the mix.

[jst4fun]

I met my boyfriend when he was visiting my city, and he stayed. So he basically moved in with me the second day we knew each other. Sounds strange, and it is, but we knew right away we were meant to be together. So far so good it’s only been a couple of months tho.

[Fireguy17]

@jst4fun as long as it is working out for both of you that is all that matters.

[WanderingLoveWizard]

I did almost the same thing (but it was 2 weeks) with my girl and it lasted 7 years.
Like you said, you were meant to be. When you know, you just know.
It would've lasted forever if she didn't die, but that's beside the point

[Anonymous]

When I know I want to marry her.

If I don't know 100% yet then I'm not moving in with her... Why would I do that?

I'm just speaking for me.

I know other people like to move in as a test run. That is nonsense to me. You should know a persons habits, the ones that actually matter, before you move in.

I can know a persons habits and notions well before we've been dating for 1 year. Plus I'm only looking for specific habits anyway. The rest I don't care about because they don't matter at the onset. Gl finding a perfect young person. A lot of people try to do that. I think your man understands that. That's why he is with you. You don't got it all figured out yet but you must be a good person.

[WanderingLoveWizard]

You really don't fully know someone until you live with them, but if worse comes to worse you can always move out.
A good rule of thumb I'd say is to at least know them well enough to know they're not gonna fuck you over.
I wouldn't let a girl move in until I knew she's not the type to turn into a controlling bitch then try to claim squatters rights

[WhoKnoes6780]

💯 most I feel the same way they all turn controlling I ain’t dealing with that again

[WanderingLoveWizard]

Yeah fuck that

[Asker]

Sorry to hear you had that experience. Sounds awful

[WanderingLoveWizard]

I never did, but if you were talking WhoKnoes, I feel bad for him too

[RavVid]

I think it sort of occurs organically. Bras start accumulating on door knobs etc. Seriously if guy and gal spend most of their time together and start coming home to each other then you have reached that point.

What would scare a man with a house is if you can potentially make a claim on it after x period of time.

I would suggest offering some prenup type agreement.

As he has a house I don't think you can expect him to move/relocate and it would be a bit silly in fact.

[richardcory]

Its not crazy to move in after 2 months, but be sure you have a workable "exit strategy". If things start to go badly, make sure you can leave when you want to. Also be sure you have some fair arrangement for paying for housing.

[imfreeze95]

I would only move in with someone if I was married to them.

[lorenzomichael]

I would say a year at least, and as a guy it wouldn't bother me at all, or I wouldn't have asked you to move in.

[WhoKnoes6780]

Move out on your own dependent on your self. What if you guys move in together and things don’t work? at least you know you can move out by your self

[Asker]

Yeah I agree tbh. It's the sensible adult. like thing to do. I am an independent person an spend 98% of my time alone... and I enjoy it

[Anonymous]

Maybe after a year or more and you better be sure about it

[itsalyssaagain]

I think it depends on the couple

[LivingExample]

Marriage!

[TrillXHippy]

Marriage

[LiamJHayden]

Never.

[In_Trance]

Give it 2-3 years