Why is my father controlling of the length of my hair?

[Anonymous]

My hair is none of his business. He wants me to have my hair longer and I would rather not have it longer. In fact, I want a haircut. I have what is known as a pixie cut. I just wonder why men are so controlling over things like hair. Often men in my life have said things like "oh, you had long hair before. why did you cut it?" as if me cutting it was a bad thing in their eyes. Mind you, these men are friends, who I would never date.

[RavVid]

He wants you off his hands and to get married. He's doubtful a pixie cut will do it. Do you have a pixie face?

We aren't controlling. We just say what we like is all.

There is some basic biology to this. We all get our hair cut sure. But if you took x nbr guys and girls in a statistically valid sample size and made sure they were banned from barbers and hair salons with no access to scissors would they equal length hair or would either the guys or girls have longer hair?

The girls will have longer hair of course! Guys hair sheds quicker stopping it getting long as the girls hair. Blame it on estrogen.

So in our 2 Million BC sex brain we just like girls with long hair because
1. It is femme thing.
2. It probably says to aforesaid 2M sex brain you are in good health and can be knocked up given you have enough estrogen to have long hair.

In contrast the pixie cut is saying your hair is falling out to our 2M sex brain is and we won't be able impregnate you..

[Asker]

Well, to me this just comes off as controlling.

As a man, a separate entity, how does my hair bother you? Or any other men around me?

Aside from that, I made sure to do well in my career, so my father 'handing me off' to some man for marriage is not really needed. The way you phrased this makes it sound like women are a burden to fathers, so fathers are tempted to hand them off to another man when they are of age. That thought is.. depressing.

I get that it does not have to be my reality. I can always say no if my parents ever want me to get married to a guy. They said they are not going to force me into a marriage. Arranged marriages are becoming a thing of the past, although, I know it still happens.. I'm all for marriage if both the woman and man are happy, if it's what they truly want. Not because of some societal pressures or anything like that.

[RavVid]

It doesn't bother me or any other man how girls cut dye or dress their hair at all. We all have better things to do than to try to control random girls hair length.

What you might think/find controlling is that men are more likely to honestly call it it as they see it - unlike girls. You go to the salon get it cut and dyed whatever and every girl will tell you what you want to hear - it suits you, looks so good, ask for the stylist name etc etc. Girls always reinforce what ever a girl has done regardless of what they actually think. When that girl goes to the bar, the other girl might say to the guys 'I don't know what made her do that'.

Even guys know not to make adverse comments but might go so far as saying why did you cut it because they are honestly calling it as they see it.

It is just a gender difference between guys and gals but I can see why girls might find that controlling. Some questions generate realizations and this is one of them. Thank you.

[IceCreamSandwich]

I'm not positive, but it seems like some sort of power thing for them. If you do something they don't like, even if it's not a bad thing, they see that as you challenging their authority. As if the only reason you would do something they don't like is to make them mad. It's silly but I've experienced it too, luckily I was able to move out as a teen. Before I did, my dad actually bought an electric razor and shaved my hair off because I refused to get it cut.

Both him and my mom always took things that had nothing to do with them as personal attacks against them, just because they didn't like it. It may be a similar situation with your dad—or even your friends. Even though you do it not even thinking about them, it sounds like they're taking it as you intentionally trying to upset them just by cutting your own hair.

I'd recommend distancing yourself if you can, if you notice this kind of attitude often and if they don't try to understand when you explain to them that you just did it because you wanted to. People who think like this often feel justified in hurting those they believe have wronged them either out of "revenge" or to "teach a lesson," although I don't know how they would do that in this case since you can't force hair to grow.

[Finchie40]

Are you paying for the hair cut? If so then it’s none of his business what you do with your hair , If you are expecting him to pay then you are shit out of luck lol. Most men prefer long hair on a girl , mainly because it makes her look more like a female then a male , Men are very visual when it comes to looking at girls’ so your new hair cut might not look good on you to them , they probably thought you looked better with long hair, so that’s why they are making comments , Some girls’ can rock short hair and some can’t , I knew girls’ that had beautiful long hair and then they cut it and it didn't even look like her anymore , so it’s always a 50/50 chance if someone is going to like your new appearance or not , if they love you, they will accept you for who you are and that’s what’s most important, So Rock who you are , fuck what every one else thinks , Our whole lives we are criticized and judged by others , That’s their problem not yours.

[DextroShade]

Short hair on women is not only unattractive it's also a red flag for men. Your father probably just wants you to be taken seriously by men instead of being used as a cum dumpster.

[Asker]

Why is it a red flag for men if I do not want to deal with the hassle of having longer hair? Especially if I'm not looking to date the particular man or men in question.

If a man likes a woman with long hair, it's simple, he can find one to date. Men can have the woman they want and I can have the haircut I want. One does not necessarily need to push their desires on someone who is not wanting to fulfill such desires.

Is it a red flag to you if a female friend of yours has short hair while your girlfriend/wife has long hair? That female friend is not harming you in any way, and you are still with someone you are attracted to.

[slatyb]

You are an adult. Why are you allowing him to do it?

[Sparkie460]

It's your hair, do what you want with it. You're not a child anymore. You don't need anyone's permission to cut or dye your hair if you wanted to

[In_Trance]

Aren't you a little old for this

[Ryfyle]

Move out, its really the only way.

[Iron_Man]

Talk to him about it

[Luckycharms12]

Tell him fuck off