Why is my boyfriend seemingly immune to my compliments?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend is a very insecure man, and I try to ease some of the insecurities by letting him know how much I love him. He doesn't seem to care when I say anything nice to him. This is getting frustrating.

[ohsheeT]

When the boy is growing up he very rarely hears good job or anything that is a positive word to him about something he has done it's usually a negative word and as you get older and you hear something positive about yourself you don't know how to take it you don't even want to hear it because first of all he didn't really do anything except for being himself so he does want anybody to make a big deal about it I mean the best way to do it is lock up give him a hug or a kiss Whispering is here good job and that's it drop it it's done it's over with do that and he will love you a lot better but when you go on and on and on about something or you start bragging to somebody about him in front of him he's really going to just like it he doesn't know how to handle it I hate people complimenting me I absolutely hate it and it doesn't have anything to do with anything except for I wasn't doing it for a compliment I wasn't doing it for money I was doing it because I was standing right there and I was capable of doing it you can say thanks and drop it don't carry on about it I don't know why or what would make a guy even think this but it's kind of an embarrassment really I don't know why I even said that but I mean that's the way I feel about sometimes

[Anonymous]

Hard to say could be a lot of damage left from other women. Also you could come off as very insincere. There's a lot of women that are verbally very complimentary while being the complete opposite with thier body language. It comes off as though she's not only NOT complimenting him. She's deliberately mocking him. Which is actually worse than saying NOTHING. He might think you're just f***ing with his head. You have to understand a guys point of view. We are USED to women LYING to us 50% of the time. We ASSUME when a woman opens her mouth that 50% of the time a lie is coming out.

Hope this helps. Good luck!

[MJackson1234]

You don't say or do nice things for a reaction. You do it because you mean it. It doesn't seem like you mean it.

[Asker]

Of course I mean it. It's hard being the one who does all the emotional heavy lifting. It's hard for me to be vulnerable and open up how someone makes me feel. So not having any cues about impact makes continuing to do it hard

[MJackson1234]

First of all I am so tired of people using hard to describe their relationship. That's what makes a relationship amazing. It's going through the hard times together. You are sick, your puppy died, your momma is mad, you lost your job, but this person the love of your life is right there next to you. My parents were great about fighting with each other. Mom needs half an hour to calm down and dad needs to sleep over it before you can talk to him. They literally can give each other just a look and they know exactly what the other person wants to say. You learn things about your partner and how to speak their language. He is not good with compliments then stop doing it. Just say I love you and let it go. When I am out with my partner and I am sitting next to them and someone attractive that just rubs them off the wrong way starts talking to me, all I do middle of the conversation I just lean over and kiss my partner in the cheek. All of the sudden that person is gone and my partner is on cloud nine. Everyone has their own lines you should not crossed and their own ways to make them happy. Maybe just lean over and give him a kiss when someone more attractive trying to get your attention. It's just small things. But that's what a relationship is. It's having your own secret language that no one else gets. When you just look at your partner and you know what they are feeling or want to say then you got there. Also stop expecting someone to react the way you want them to so your actions can be meaningful. One of the things that I get complimented on is bringing extra food just in case. Hello, do you need anything while I am here. No, ok but I bring an extra sandwich just in case. I can always eat it later or tomorrow. Mind you everytime I did it, I was always told why did you do that. But that's one of things I get complimented on.

[In_Trance]

you'd have to ask him this

[Asker]

I have. The only answer he gives is he doesn't know how to receive love or romantic gestures.

[In_Trance]

So... there you have it

[Asker]

I feel like there might be more to it than that. Even so, I don't know how to help him. I've done all 5 of the love languages and I tell him at least once a day that I love him.

[In_Trance]

There probably isn't more to it than that. I'm not sure why you wouldn't accept his answer for what it is.
This isn't about you doing 5 love languages... smh
This is about something from his past that he needs to work through
You can't help him; unless you're a certified therapist