Why can't my boyfriend take a compliment?

[Anonymous]

I always thought that guys loved hearing "how hot they look today" or "You have the sexiest smile" and whatnot, for an ego-boost. But whenever I compliment my boyfriend, who's twenty, on how handsome I think he is (which is totally true!) he's always like "No. I'm not. I know I'm ugly and I'm okay with that." And he absolutely isn't! At least to me anyways. And one time after sex, we were all cuddly and he was telling me how beautiful I am, and when I told him he was handsome he pushed me off and I said I totally ruined the moment. We quickly got back to cuddling, but I was definitely left very confused.

Does he just seriously have a low self-esteem, or is he just looking for more compliments? He also said a while ago that I was the only person who had ever made him feel so good about himself. So what is going on!

[Poseidon17]

He sounds like he has serious self-esteem issues. This reminds me of one of my best friends. He says he wants to meet girls and always talks about wanting a hot girlfriend. But he is always saying the same thing, "I am too ugly/fat/balding for a girl to like me" I try to boost his spirit by telling him that most girls want a confident guy, and if you get that down most will care less about anything physical. But he still is always so negative, he doesn't get that his attitude is what is hurting his chances way more than his looks.

Your boyfriend needs to work this out himself, you can only do so much for him. I'd love to be with a girl who always told me I'm sexy/handsome, that is a very affectionate gesture. Someone who can't take a compliment definitely has self-esteem problems, especially if it is coming from their girlfriend/boyfriend.

[NMMan]

I think he has some things to work out regarding his self-esteem, it sounds as if he genuinely doesn't believe your compliments, even though they are 100% sincere. Perhaps there was a time in his past where he was regularly put down or had his confidence shaken in some way. Let him know with a smile that you're saying these things because that's how you really feel, and hopefully he will "get it".

[nurseTeddy]

he's very unconfident about himself and his appearance(even he's really handsome but he doesn't think so, vice versa some ugly people always think they are beautiful and handsome, this is overconfident). So I think you should stop give compliment to him, he can be upset and feel worse and be pressured, and if you continue to praise him, he will think you are steasing him, that's not good at all. Um, not sure but try this one, you and he stand in front of the mirror( help him to shave his beard or brush his hair...) but don't say anything , you can hold 2 hands on his cheeks, then touch gently on his face, his eyes , nose, lips then kiss them, remember don't say anything, this way tells him that you love his body and with you , he's best, time by time, he will feel better I think. :)

[stevo]

Hard to tell. He sounds very undecided if he doesn't like compliments, but yet, said that you are the only person in the world that makes him feel the way he does.

[Jaysan714]

he has the worst self confidence ever I think he has deeper issues than you think he does

[sweeterthansuga]

ditto to what Jaysan714 said.

[Anonymous]

He probably has low self-esteem.