My boyfriend and I have been on and off for almost a year. We’ve spent more days arguing rather than talking to each other, but I’ve noticed that our arguments stem when we are away from each other. We argue through text. However, I feel as if resentment has built up that it’s hard to see myself in a relationship with him again, although he guarantees me, and he promises that things will be different. I’ve never had someone who has loved and cared for me the amount he has, however I don’t feel the spark for him anymore. We have very different viewpoints on things and even though I tell him that’s where we clash, from our differences, he always tends to disagree. I understand his past his a reason for him not being able to trust me fully, but I felt as if his lack of communication and trust had affected or relationship; and everything I encountered him on ways we can strengthen our relationship, he wouldn’t take it seriously as he said he would and the same cycle will repeat. But as I’ve hit rock bottom, he tells me that he assures I will be the happiest girl in the world and has made efforts to make it show. I know I’ll never meet another guy who accepts and cares for me the way he does, but I’ve literally lost attraction for him. I don’t see myself enjoying to see him, nor wanting to kiss or have sex with him. So I don’t know what to do — I feel lost. I told him there’s things he needs to work on before we can be in a relationship together, but he disagrees and says we should be by each others sides if I claim i love him the way I do to help each other grow individually and relationship wise.
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Should I give him a second chance?
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You probably both have points. What do you have very different views on? How to squeeze the toothpaste, politics.
You can both just decline to argue. A deep breath and think it is not worth it. A lot of couple form short cuts to arguments. An outsider doesn't hear anything amiss but the couple start arguing in front of the guest. You might need to work on things as well as him.
My thought is that you seem to value each other and if you didn't have the negativity of fighting then the spark could well re-emerge. Worth making sure it just doesn't before trashing the relationship.
No, it is time to move on. There are so many red flags to deal with here.