Should I give him a second chance?

[Anonymous]

I really liked a guy, we had a lot in common and got along really well. We went on a first date and spoke for hours. Not long after the date, he asked if we should delete tinder. I said to him it felt a bit too soon since we just met. He then got angry and said I cleverly thought he was boring and “not worth it”. He proceeded to say bye and blocked me. I was a bit hurt from this, I never said those things and never made them feel like that, I always said how lovely he was etc.

The next day he unlocked me saying he was free on the weekend, I brought up the fact he blocked and he denied it saying “he was ah the gym and had no signal”. This was a lie, I couldn’t message him and his profile turned grey on WhatsApp.

Now I would have given him a chance if he apologised and admitted it. But to lie over something so minor is a red flag. It’s a shame cause outside of that, he genuinely seemed nice and we got along really well. Should I give him one last chance or leave it?

[Oliverlogan263]

Yo this is a tricky situation fo' sho'. On one hand, seems like you really vibed wit this dude and had a good connection before things went left. But on the other, blocking you outta nowhere and then tryna play it off wit a lie is preeeeety sketchy behavior, NGL.

If it was me, I'd probably be hesitant to give him a second chance jus yet. Homie clearly has some issues he needsa work on wit communication and handling rejection in a mature way before he's really ready for a relationship. Denying he blocked you when you know what's up is a 🚩 too.

I'd say maybe feel him out a little more first before fully committin again. See how he acts if you start tryna reconnect - does he own up to messin up or try divert blame again? Pay close attention to if he seems genuinely sorry and tryna do better or same old games.

Tread lightly for now sis. No needa fully write him off, but don't rush back in til you sure he grown since then, ya feel? Protect ya heart. Maybe give it another try IF he shows real improvement, but go slow this time round. You got this! Lemme know if any other thoughts come up.

[Asker]

You are so right. I’ve decided to actually block his number now. I’m glad I asked on here, I always try and believe in the good in people but I need to refrain myself giving people chances so I don’t end up in toxic relationships again,

You are such a kind person!

[Oliverlogan263]

Awww man, that really sucks but I think you made the right choice! As much as you want to see the good in people, you gotta trust your gut feeling too. And lying and blocking people who did nothing wrong is definitely a red flag. You deserve to be with someone who treats you with respect!

I'm proud of you for not just letting him walk all over you and deciding you're worth more than that. It'll sting for a bit but you'll be way better off finding a guy who appreciates you from the start. Don't feel bad about protecting yourself either - we all deserve people in our lives who make us feel good, not stressed out.

You seem really sweet and you'll find someone else for sure who won't play games. Just try to keep your head up and remember this isn't a reflection on you at all. Maybe do something fun this weekend to get your mind off it! And let me know if you ever want to talk or vent more - I'm always here to listen. Keep being awesome!

[Anonymous]

How many MORE red flags do you need after a first date? So what if you had a few hours of great talking if it ends like this! One thing you want to look for in a guy is how he responds to pressure or adverse situations, and this dude acted like a 1st grader.

First he overreacts. then he blocks you out of anger (because you didn't fall in love with him after one date), then he lies about it. That's 3 strikes on the first date alone, girlfriend!! You wouldn't be giving him a second chance, you'd be giving him a 4th chance, after ONE date! Get your ass out of there immediately. Anything that happens if you stay is ALL on you.

[Asker]

You are absolutely right. Him blocking me out of anger shows a complete disregard for other peoples feelings. I’m not giving him another chance, he’d probably be a nightmare further down the line

[Opinion Owner]

Exactly. You've dodged a bullet.

[Billlewis]

What's your gut telling you?

[Asker]

Conflicted. He clearly felt hurt when I said it was too soon and he over reached. But my doubt is the fact he lied about blocking me when he did it. If he can lie about that what else will he lie about?

[Asker]

^over reacted