Is it a bad thing if a guy says you are extremely sexy on a 2nd date?

Question

Let’s say you’ve been into him a lot and he’s undeniably very handsome, nice and successful, on a 2nd date, he makes remarks how he recognized you from a far as soon as he looked my way and he also said I am extremely sexy a few times.

I liked him a lot but I didn’t like that he said I am very sexy instead of beautiful or pretty, he has said that very often on a first date as well. Because I know his past and he was quite a womanizer in the past.

I stopped dating him because I figured he was mainly interested in sex or at least having sex pretty soon, because I am not interested in rushing things.

Do you think it’s not a very good compliment to be continually complimented on your sex appeal instead of your personality and cuteness on a 1st or a 2nd date?

DaveJord · Accepted Answer

So, I would say if you do not think sexy is a compliment then, do not pursue this man.

For most men pretty and beautiful go hand in hand with sexy. But if you are offended when a man tells you that he thinks you are sexy... then I would say don't pursue this man. I have said it often to woman, and I have never been told it's not nice. But in the moment its not about what they said sometimes, its just they way they said it.

I always say to men, to be honest and upfront with woman about how you feel. They will either like it or they will not, but that's on them to decide and better to figure it out soon than later... but never lie to them or misguid them about how you feel. So beyond the words, it very possible that he was sending you a message... and you picked up on somthing that makes you uncomfortable.

So this guy has been honest with you, so eihter you appreicatet that or you don't. But honeslty if made you feel uncomfortable at this stage in the process then you should be thankful to him for being honest with you. Because now you know and you can make that choice for yourself. At end of the day, if this bothered you at the time, you are probabbly right for feeling the way you feel and you should listen to that voice in your head and trust your instincts.

hahahmm · Accepted Answer

You're making the mistake of thinking that males & females think the same way. From a male POV sexy is a synonym for beautiful & pretty. I mean actually, guys never even use the word 'pretty'. That's a woman's concept. And what do you expect? For him to want to go on a date with someone he finds unattractive/fugly/boring? This isn't how life works. Sexual attraction is a thing. Yes, there's a higher value/level of attraction that has to do with character/personality.

It could also be that this guy ignored women who look just like you because they don't have some extra character traits that you do. But this is unpredictable & totally depends on the guy. In that context his comment is not just about the physical.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

No, just honest. I knew my husband was into me because we weren't even dating, i didn't even think he liked me that way, just he he was friendly. I met him coming out of the gym in the high street and we got to to talking. It was a lovely day and I had this cute little sundress on that showed some cleavage and leg, really showed off my figure. So we are talking and I glance down and he has the most massive erection in his shorts. He being considerably taller had been looking down my cleavage rather than staring into my eyes.

anon1903 · Accepted Answer

A guy would fuck anything that moves. Remember that.

AviatorTom · Answer

It's a compliment, not bad.

Pinay_ako · Answer

If you don’t feel good about him, then move on.

OfMiceandMen · Answer

It's a bit early in the relationship to get into the sex appeal comments.

Complimenting that early in the relationship should focus on other qualities, like:

- how quick/witty/smart they are,

- beautiful/pretty they are,

- how you like what they are wearing, etc.

You leave the sexy remarks till later, when she chooses to be come more intimate.

BoopBoopBeep · Answer

I think it took an impressive feat of mental gymnastics to turn this into a bad thing, and you would do well to explore why you felt the need to escalate that to the point of breaking up.

My mother is very beautiful. The stuffed lamb my rescue kitten sleeps with is very cute. I'm not dating either of those.

EricSummer · Answer

The compliment is fine I think. It's probably also honest.

You are worried that he may want sex very soon. This is possible, but you can act on it when it comes up. For example, you can soon say that you do not want to rush things. You can also talk about exclusivity and being true to each other.

It's a bit of a test, too. If this spooks him he's not suitable for you, anyway.

Still, I would not break it off only because of a compliment.

richardcory · Answer

It does seem to imply that his interest in primarily sexual. If that isn't your primary interest, then breaking it off was probably best for both of you.

I much prefer various forms of "interesting" to "sexy".

Screenwriter · Answer

You are precisely right. Saying you're attractive, or he likes your style, personality, intelligence bodes well. If all he's talking about is how sexy you are, that's his bottom line. Sex. Good riddance.

therealricksanchez · Answer

No, it's not a bad thing in principle, he was complimenting you. If he used the word "extremely" sexy, not a good move, sounds like he wants sex, specially if you're sure he was a womanizer. Is he known for only wanting, like, one night stands, not being able to commit to a relationship, or being unfaithful?

msc545 · Answer

I doubt very much if it really occurred to him to discriminate among the various things that you were talking about. Her most men the difference between pretty and sexy is minimal or non-existent.

ProbablyClueless · Answer

That's not bad at all, it's a compliment. He finds you physically appealing. Isn't that what you wanted?

Billlewis · Answer

I wouldn't think so, as long as he's polite about it.

Sharkstealth · Answer

I can't call a woman beautiful without it meaning all I want is sex from her? Of course I want sex but never all. Same as the woman. A guy getting an erection doesn't mean he wants sex no way.

Sparkie460 · Answer

Some guys think sexy is a better compliment than beautiful and gorgeous. It means that you have it all. You have good looks and good sex appeal

Anonymous · Answer

Note to self, "tell a woman she looks beautiful even when you think she looks sexy because the wording makes a difference to them".😆😆😆

Andres77 · Answer

No, as long as he didn’t expect anything for it.

Friendlybro79 · Answer

I feel like you've answered your own question within your explanation. Trust yourself.

Anonymous · Answer

You said he was a Womaniser in his past, That should be a big enough Red Flag in itself.

The fact that he said he was a Womaniser in his past, That should be a big enough Red Flag in itself.

The fact that he said you are extremely Sexy instead of Cute or Beautiful you should of expected.

Why is it you Girls cannot see these Red flags?

RavVid · Answer

I think sexy, beautiful, pretty, cute, and bubbly personality are all synonyms for I want to have sex with you.

RHK36 · Answer

You know he's a player, but you still dated him? Either people are really that thick or they sure like playing dumb.

tzdc21 · Answer

If he didn't find you sexy, then there wouldn't have been a second date lol. So I don't think so.

Is it a bad thing if a guy says you are extremely sexy on a 2nd date?

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Is it a bad thing if a guy says you are extremely sexy on a 2nd date?

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