The guy I’ve been seeing for 4 months slept with someone else. do I have a right to get upset?

[Anonymous]

I feel like I can’t be mad because we’ve never had a chat about being exclusive it just hurts. I haven’t slept with anyone else even though I’ve been living abroad the past month because I knew how much I liked him. I kind of feel insecure knowing he has because it makes me feel like he has doubts about me. Or am I being dramatic? Did he just sleep with someone because he needed a sex fix and not because I’m not good enough? Also to add to it he never told me until tonight but it happened weeks ago. I’m not sure if my reaction is valid or if I need to be more understanding to him

[lollypop2003]

You have a right to be upset because you like him but I don’t think he necessarily did anything wrong as you guys didn’t clear your boundaries with each other. How did you find out he slept with someone? If he told you then i’d say that’s a good sign as he’s open and honest and maybe feels a little guilty about it. Just ask him where he sees this going because after 3 months boys normally know what they want and if he’s not thinking of being in a relationship with you then he’s gonna keep it casual. Don’t waste your time if you’re looking for more and he can’t offer it.

[provokeesmokee]

Clearly, you want an exclusive relationship.

But you realize you didn't specify. That's a misstep.

I asked about exclusivity 3 weeks into my last relationship, and respected that request of exclusivity from my then-gf.

Have that talk, now, and maybe that'll alleviate your insecurities.

But you can't be mad he didn't act exclusive when you've never brought it up.

Now you know to bring it up earlier, next time.

[Wise4myage]

Yes you do, but apparently he thought this was an open relationship?