I’ve started meal prepping for my boyfriend and my sister found out and texts me saying she’s mad and thinks he’s sexist? What do you guys think?

[Anonymous]

[NamerOfStars]

That her line of reasoning doesn't make much sense- not given what you've told us here, anyway. Doing something nice for someone you care about is hardly abusive, and relationships live and die based on your ability to make your partner feel loved. Feeding them usually works for women, but it almost ALWAYS works for men, and why ignore an easy solution that's practically guaranteed to work?

Now, it's certainly possible that stuff your sister's seen that we (and maybe even you) don't know about makes her think that he's using you, but that's easily enough dealt with: think of, then show her, the things HE does for YOU.

[Asker]

She says she’s being protective and she says that it’s a red flag. There’s no really other backstory. My mom told her I was cooking for him and that’s all I really know she hasn’t met him. She doesn’t know anything about him so I don’t know why she brought it up in a bad way.

[NamerOfStars]

Then it sounds like she's very much overreacting. It might be out of genuine concern, but still.

[xColinx]

Do you enjoy doing it?

Not that it's a super fun activity but is it something you feel like you're good at, that he appreciates, and so it makes you feel good about doing it?

If so, that's awesome. And hopefully there are things he helps you with that you appreciate. That's kinda how relationships are designed to work... mutual sacrifice and trust and everything balances out to make both people better than they'd be on their own.

But if the vibes are more like "yo, make me a sammich, woman" and it becomes something where he just expects you to do it, that's not cool.

[Asker]

It’s OK it’s not something so exciting but I do like hearing if came out good or not and he is very appreciated of it and I think he's done a lot of things for me so that’s why I accepted making food for him and I don’t know my sister made it seem like it was this horrible thing and she said that I’m not “ his bitch” and she’s never met him. We’ve only been dating for a good 6-7 months but I’ve known him for a little bit over a year now he has asked to meet her and my other family, but she lives an hour away and he’s invited her out to eat, but she declined because she was busy

[Asker]

She also wanted me to test him and say that I don’t want to cook for him just to see how he would respond but I don’t want to do that

[xColinx]

Has your sister been "protective" of you with other guys you've dated in the past? Sounds like she's just skeptical of a guy treating you the way she wants you to be treated.

Has she had any bad relationship experiences herself, and maybe she's projecting that to your current relationship?

[xColinx]

But yeah you could try her idea. Don't make it awkward like "yo i ain't yo b*tch, make yoself a gd sammich!"

Instead maybe something like "hey I've got a busy week ahead and so are you cool with handling your own meal stuff for a little bit?"

And then see how he responds?

[Asker]

No because this is my first serious relationship ever and none of my family or her know any of my exes or guys I dated he’s the first guy I was introduced to my family and he wanted to meet them but has only met my mom, my siblings just know he exists. But she is projecting because I pointed out that she’s done way more crazy stuff for her past partners and current that I would never really do and so that’s why she is saying that he is a red flag because of her experience.

[Asker]

I already told him what my sister said, but first I did ask him if he would be mad if I stopped making food for him and he made a joke that he will not be mad and that he could live without my salty spaghetti and to be fair, I messed that spaghetti up because I made a bigger portion than I ever have so yea put to much salt… I did not want to test him I think it’s kind of dumb. We can just communicate.

[xColinx]

I did not want to test him I think it’s kind of dumb. We can just communicate."

I think that last part you said is the most important. What MATTERS is the communication and dynamics between YOU and him. It's cool your sister cares about you, and she will have some good advice to offer at times so the fact you're asking this question is good that you're giving her advice consideration, but ultimately you gotta trust your own instincts and know what's best based on the specific information that you & only you can understand.

[MementoMori777]

its not like he's telling you that you belong in the kitchen mostly if you willingly are doing it out of care so i guess it depends if he gives off the vibes that he's entitled believing you have to be in the kitchen making him food or not

[BlackJeep]

If he appreciates it he's not sexist. If he expects it he is sexist.

He should be doing all he can to keep you. It's really nice to have a relationship where you can make each others lives easier

[Vikkrram]

I didn't get it so your sister thinks that he is sexist coz you preparing meal for him?

[Asker]

Yes, she thinks it’s weird he would ask me to do that

[Vikkrram]

So one day tell your boyfriend to make a meal for you and you let know your sister

[Rockstarrrrr]

From a third person perspective , it can be a little degrading because it's an act of service... So , her reaction is quite understandable..

[boobliker]

she just wanting to put you off him, was he her ex?

[Iron_Man]

Who cares what she thinks it’s about you and him don’t worry about it

[Iron_Man]

Because you’re cooking for your boyfriend, that’s sexist your sister thinks, your sister doesn’t have it together mentally

[Anonymous]

He is a guy, so he probably is sexist.

[Shamalien]

I wonder if you are aware of the irony here

[Wise4myage]

Tell your sister to mind her own business.

[Yansix75000]

Je m'en tape