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My best guy friend wanted me to meet the girl he’s been seeing. I said I didn’t want to but he pushed the issues and pleaded for me to meet her. I caved and said Fien, then when the day came to meet her he backflipped and said boss not the right time because he doesn’t know how he feels about this situation anymore. I asked him what he meant but he just went silent and said he doesn’t know what he wants anymore. We have a very close relationship and he said she’s jealous of the relationship with have together and is confused about our situations My best friend tells me he loves me and we fight like an old married couple and recently he’s said he’s overwhelmed by his emotions. I feel so confused because it feels like he’s feelings for me have shifted from just friends and he’s just coming to realise it?
Why would he backflip on me meeting her?
Anonymous
(30-35) 
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
3Opinion
Sounds like they had a argument and that's why he cancelled
They didn’t my friend and I had the argument. That’s when he said I wish you’d both just consider my feelings for once.
Wait what u had a argument with him about what
About the fact he made a huge issue about me meeting her and then cancelled last minute. I asked him why and he said he doesn’t know why and that he thinks she’s jealous of our relationship. Then we argued about what our relationship is and got nowhere
Thats my point he wouldn't just randomly think she is jelouse clearly something happened to think that so my money is on them either bickering or having a argument over his friendship with u
All he’s ever done is friendzone me so that’s he’s problem to sort out with her. He can’t expect me to calm her down and make her insecurities disappear.
Ni but then equally if u know your in the feiend zone why are u asking him questions about what your relationship is with him when u claim u already know
Because I don’t understand d why she would be jealous if I’m ‘just a friend’ if he’s made it clear we’re just friends then she’s shouldn’t be confused or jealous.
Yes because thats how insecurities work I'm not sure if u are being petty or silly making that statement if u are not able to handle friendship with him I'm not sure why u are staying in this situation equally I don't know why he is being friendly with you if he treats u as more u both seem to be trolling
What do you mean by trolling?
You are both not being truthful with what u want
Maybe. It is certain the girl didn't want to meet you. That might have made him see you in a new light.
Why wouldn't you want to meet her?
I mean you are 'just friends' right?
I just don’t want to get involved with his relationships. It just gets messy when the other girl is jealous. He told me that I’m his number 1 and if she isn’t happy with being number 2 then she can leave
Number 1? Wtf does that even mean? Yeah, he says that you. You really think he tells her she is #2? This is a FRIEND, remember? You don't come before his girlfriend. For you to think you do says a lot.
Then why is he saying all this to me, he’s not a friend if he’s lying and playing me.
Playing you? You obviously are not just friends, so maybe we can drop the pretense. I can't believe you bought him saying you were his #1 and he loves you. He is full of shit, he's trying to keep both of you thinking you are his top priority. He doesn't sound like a real good dude to me. To say that shit to someone who is not his girlfriend is fucking garbage. I don't care how close you are. I don't blame his girlfriend for being pissed. She doesn't even know the shit he is saying to you, but she can see how he acts when your name comes up etc. He needs to make up his mind at some point, because playing both sides is not cool and makes him look like a shitbag. As far as you, by refusing to meet her you have positioned yourself as the friend who wants to be the girlfriend. Also, not cool.
They’re casually dating according to him so I didn’t think I needed to meet her.
Apparently she’s pushing to meet me because she’s confused about our situation and he talks about me all the time. I’m not trying to sabotage anything or be rude.
'According to him' you noticing anything here?
He’s telling us both lies to keep us both around, for all I know he could be telling her the same thing about me.
No one is saying you are trying to sabotage anything, but look at the optics here. Your reasons for not meeting her are quite honestly really lame. If he is your 'best friend' you should want him to be happy.
It’s frustrating and I don’t know what to do now
What would you think if you were her? If he was constantly bringing your name up can't you see why she would be a little pissed. Her wanting to meet you is actually a mature gesture on her part. And this guy... he just sounds like a slimeball... but whatever.
That’s why I said I’d be happy to meet her , but then he backflipped and told me he’s not ready for us to meet yet because he doesn’t know how he feels.
I had a similar situation happen when I was engaged to my ex. I was friends with an ex I was with for five months? Completely not like me, I'm not the opposite sex friend type of guy. Anyway my then fiance was long distance at the time and she was uncomfortable with that friendship. Understandable. When fiance came to visit the next time I set up a casual happy hour at one my favorite establishments for the three of us, and guess what? They got along great, everyone loved everyone... beers all around
So you both have flip flopped on it... ugh.
You had to be browbeaten into meeting her though.
I honestly hope you aren't giving this guy a pass for this fiasco.
Exactly, and him telling me he doesn’t know how he feels confuses me more because if he knew how he felt about everything he wouldn’t be so flaky. But all I’m getting from him is “we’re just casually dating” “it’s nothing serious” .
And hen he’ll say to me “I love you “you’re my best friend” “I don’t want to commit to us because I screw up relationships and I’ll loose you”
I’m not giving him a pass for this , I’m ignoring him and he won’t stop calling me now
Can't hide from it forever. I don't usually take what girls say too seriously with type of stuff because they think with only emotion. HOWEVER this dude is fucking with you head big time. Do you want to be together with him? by the way casual my ass... he lies.
If it was casual she wouldn't care enough to meet you
He’s made me feel too exhausted to even consider being with him now. He’s caused all this drama around a time where I’ve had two massive life changes. He knows i haven’t been well and he knows I feelings for him so him doing this has been a slap in the face. We used to spend everyday together but recently I’ve had to travel for work so I haven’t been giving him the same amount of attention I usually do, that’s when he started bringing up this person and pressuring me to meet her. It feels like he’s doing it to make me jealous.
He’s immature and a commitment phone and has admitted to sabotaging relationships when it feels like he doesn’t have control anymore. It’s so he doesn’t get hurt
Everything was fine before I started my new job
Such bullshit. Doesn't want to get hurt? Part of the deal dude. Sounds like a candy ass.
I know so it feels like he’s keeping me on a shelf until he can get his shit together
Newsflash: that will be never.
Yeah I don’t think he’ll ever change at this stage. Everyone to him is a “friend” , it never progresses any further.
Yeah, no thanks.
That’s why I also want to keep my distance from his life. I don’t want to get in a weird open situation. It’s selfish but I don’t have the nerve for the drama
The last time we spoke he said he’s confused now and that it’s best if we all just do our own thing and maybe someday down the track we can all hangout
I'll add high maintenance to his impressive list of character traits
Very true, I’m thinking of adding ‘needy’ aswell considering he just wants to feel like he’s being ‘taken care of’ by me and that he’s overwhelmed by his emotions from all the changes that are happening with my life and job. His routine has been disrupted
Wow... add selfish
Yeah and now can you see why I don’t understand his games and his reasoning for it.
Apparently she’s now cool with being casual and both of them seeing other people.
I feel like this should be a sitcom/drama.
Sounds exhausting and I don't know any of you
Exactly. So now I’m attached to a man that is dating other women. I feel like he’s got me exactly where he wants me and I’ve played into his whole stupid game.
Find another moron to date.