I’m 19, would it be ok for me to date a 34 year old?

Question

DenizLikesTennis · Accepted Answer

It is generally not advisable for a 19-year-old to date a 34-year-old, as there may be significant differences in life experience, maturity, and goals. The age difference of 15 years may also raise concerns about potential power imbalances in the relationship.

While there is no hard and fast rule about what constitutes an appropriate age difference in a relationship, it is important to consider the potential challenges and risks that may arise from such a large gap in age and life experience. It is also important to ensure that both individuals are consenting adults and are entering into the relationship willingly and with mutual respect.

If you are considering dating someone significantly older or younger than yourself, it is important to communicate openly and honestly with your partner about your expectations, boundaries, and goals in the relationship. Ultimately, the decision to pursue a relationship with someone of a different age is a personal one, and it is important to trust your own instincts and values. However, it is always advisable to seek the advice and guidance of trusted friends, family members, or professionals before making any major decisions...

BoopBoopBeep · Accepted Answer

You're both adults. That said, and I mean this nicely, you have to consider what type of man at that age would be interested in you when you bring so little to the table other than your youth. Maybe you're super well-traveled and intelligent and supportive, but I've found the younger women that have hit on me, there's a certain point where we only have one thing in common, the desired eventuality of the evening. If that's your thing, have at it, but don't mistake it for "dating."

AmandaYVR · Accepted Answer

That's a bit of a stretch. A lot of disparity there, in so many ways.

Be careful it doesn't turn into a detrimental power dynamic.

I am a proponent of age gap relationships. I'm find with them, and have been in them. But 19 is fresh out of high school, and you've really not got any life experience yet that is untethered by rules and structure set by others (parents, teachers, etc.) A person who is middle aged and wants to be with a 19 yr old is also a bit suspect. Check their motivations; carefully.

Bachorellete25 · Accepted Answer

I would not advise it. He has way more life experience then u and it's not insult to ur intelligence but u can easily get played. Also when u see men in their mid 30 u always got to ask urself why is he stil single and why dies he want a woman so much younger. There good reason to be single for a while and it's normal for men to want younger woman. But a young woman for him would be like 22 -25. This can seem predatory if he looking for a relationship and not a hook up

AviatorTom · Answer

I suspect your question should really replace the word "date" with the f word. Go ahead and have fun if you want, but don't expect a meaningful relationship.

Avicenna · Answer

Of course it is OK- you're both adults

Drooogie4 · Answer

I would say PLEASE do not. It's so rarely a good situation, even with good intentions. There is such an age gap that there is no doubt a power dynamic.

And 9/10, a guy that much older dating someone your age is because he wants someone with less life experience that he can manipulate and "train" into the girlfriend he wants.

I've seen this happen SO many times with friends and my own sister and its never gone well.

Please be careful and consider WHY you guys are a match.

ZXCwWRQWz · Answer

Should be very cautious at least and don't think he's right about everything just because he's older or else you leave yourself vulnerable for exploitation. Don't be a fan resting your chin and listening to everything he says like he's so wise. And if he's remotely decent as a 34-year old, he won't like that anyway; he will want a woman who challenges his ideas if he isn't just looking for someone he can control.

loveslongnails · Answer

You're over 18 and considered an adult. You "can" date anyone you want who is of legal age. However, that doesn't mean you should unless you're really clear and levelheaded about what you're doing. I. E... what does he REALLY want from you? What would you want from him? If you're going to mutually "use each other" for something, that might work for a while. LOL Just don't fall for bullshit or "I love you's", keep it fun and for heaven's sake, don't get pregnant!!

kakaling · Answer

He is probably matured and know what he wants, so he wants someone young for a reason. A young woman is actually less demanding than a matured woman whose got hurt a lot from experienced with what most man always doesn't have.

There is only a 1% chance you will get the man that an experienced matured woman wants. If he chooses a young woman, then he is extremely likely to be not the 1% man.

But that doesn't mean you can't date him, because there are only 1% man that is the ideal one. And 99% man are looking for the undemanding girls.

California_Poppy · Answer

Hey, you're an adult. You can do what you want.

Though, I wouldn't recommend it if he's married or if you are wanting a long term commitment and possibly kids at some point. In that case I think someone closer to your age or at least ≤10 years would be more suitable.

slatyb · Answer

It's legal. How did you meet? What's he doing with his life? Is he appropriately mature for a 34-year-old? It's he financially stable? Does he have a career that he is progressing in?

I'm very leery of men over about 25 who hit on teenage women. They often do this because they have no success with women close to their age.

BCA6010 · Answer

In my opinion, that's too much of an age gap especially at the age you are now. The two of you are in radically different points or your life.

Anything over 5-7 years is a bit much in general, but especially when you're under 25, you should stay within a couple years.

AaronKrieger · Answer

Legally sure, but I really do think a lot or issues could arise from this. He has a lot more experience than you in life and he's likely looking to settle soon.

I'd just make sure that lack of experience doesn't make it unbalanced in the power dynamic between you two. Also, make sure you both are similar places in your life.

Paulalove98 · Answer

You’re an adult and have to decide for yourself but that’s a big gap. It’s not like he’s 24 or 26.. he’s in his 30s which is a whole different stage in life than you. I’d be aware of his actions and take it slow. But if you two hit it off then I guess go for it. My boyfriend is 18 and I’m nearly 25 but I feel like if I was 10 years older, for ex; 35, I wouldn’t have went for a teenager. I guess we just met at the exact time being 6 and a half years apart lol.

MementoMori777 · Answer

sure but im sure it comes with complications, i know someome here was complaining about their sex life cause of health problems and stuff and he will die a lot earlier if its by natural causes, yes dark but true i guess, i wish you well with it all tho

HighValue · Answer

Sure, as long as you have compatible morals, compatible long term life goals, and have some things in common that you enjoy together it can work long term.

Think of it this way, if people really were successful with people around their own age, almost everybody would have only been in one relationship their whole lives and that obviously isn't the case. Same/close age relationships frequently fail.

DiegoO · Answer

It wouldn't be illegal, but I don't see why someone in their 30s would wanna date a late teen. I can understand the meaning of dating with such gap, only for a sexual porpoise. As to dating, to actually going beyond—formal relation, marriage—with such a difference, 🤔. I think the latter is cringy.

Friendlybro79 · Answer

Would it be ok as in is it literally legal then yes. Is it a good idea? I don't know. I think there are a lot of things to think of here. That's a big difference. Tell us more about the both of you so we can give better responses.

If this is all we know. Your 19 and he's 34 and I had to say yes or no just to this, Id say no.

Staximus · Answer

You two are in different places in life. It will be awkward. If he's not a control freak, not a bum, not a drug addict, not a player, not a criminal, then maybe. What do you parents and friends think about this guy and how is that going to effect your life?

Anemone978 · Answer

You can date anyone you want at 19, but I would recommend someone at a closer age to your own..

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

I don't see it being wrong as long no one gets hurt in the relationship, I dated a girl age 18, and it turned out bad because she lost my class-ring, and I was age 35 at the time.

Anonymous · Answer

Yes, it is okay. As long as you aren't breaking laws or hurting anyone. Don't let the negative opinions of others stop you. They are not the judge of good and bad. They are just people who are just as lost as you and I.

Live your life.

inhua · Answer

yeah it's ok whatever this mysterious "power imbalance/power dynamic" people make it out to be only exists if you allow it to exist

Potteplante · Answer

According to people on here. Then sure. Heck if it is legal - then go for it. Adults should be able to fuck kids all the time as long as it's legal.

Anonymous · Answer

wow @ the weirdo comments on here attacking this. I would say it depends on the people involved. Not all 19 or 34 year olds are the same. Different life experiences can make them more similar or less similar. Absolutely nothing wrong with it as long as you're both contributing to the relationship, and bringing positives.

Kaamraj · Answer

It's absolutely fine, as long as both of you are above 18. Of course there will be a difference in power dynamics as he's probably more connective, richer, and experienced than you.

Apple1996 · Answer

Probably not a good idea unless you are just dating for fun and not a serious relationship. Rarely do age gap reactionships work out

Anonymous · Answer

I know someone who dated a girl before half his age. The mother was upset at first but when she saw him in person it wasn't a problem. It's society that's the problem. You hear things like "what if she becomes pregnant?"

It's not like you're targeting someone half your age but sometimes things just happen.🙂

PBandJ_Nerd · Answer

Legal wise you can date them, but I personally wouldn't. It's better to find someone your own age or wait to date.

Simslover92 · Answer

It's certainly ok but you may not have much in common being 15 years apart. But then again you may have a lot in common. Who knows?

humanearth · Answer

That is a big gap I made friends with someone that got married at 20 and his wife was 62 After a couple years he was cheating on her with girls closer to his age

Sasha0426 · Answer

You’re both consenting adults. But, still be careful just in case. Even if you’re of age, some men like him will take advantage of young girls such as yourself. If he proves he’s not like that, all the best of luck to you both 🥰

Yannishka · Answer

In theory it is okay, but that's some age difference. I find it a bit sus. From him.

Anonymous · Answer

yikes... i'm 32 and wouldn't even look at a 19 year old. think of it that way... we have absolutely 0 in common. any 34 year old man that goes for a 19 year old girl is up to some trouble...

4ngelic · Answer

its legal and everything but its weird honestly... you should stick to guys your own age

Static_In_The_Attic · Answer

As long as your local laws & ordinances allow it it’s totally ok.

Mansearching · Answer

Yes. You're an adult. But for advice only, try to get with someone closer to your age.

Sanser · Answer

Its legal but.. is it really ok? For me someone like that looking for a 18-21 yo is such a red flag...

Anonymous · Answer

Yes it would be fine. I married a 30 year old MSN when I was 16.

Karate_Aaron · Answer

You are an adult, so you can date whoever you want. 15 years is a pretty big age gap, but I think it has more to do with how well you get along, common interests, etc.

ProbablyClueless · Answer

It's an awful idea but probably legally okay.

fonduegirl · Answer

That's very creepy. Good chance he's just using you.

Anonymous · Answer

Age won't matter when most of the collective has been brain washed, poisoned or demonically possessed without even realising...

Sparkie460 · Answer

You're both adults. If you're comfortable with the age gap then go with him. You don't need anyone's permission

Shamalien · Answer

Yes it is completely okay, however, it is a bit of a stretch. Everyone is an individual so I won’t shit on this, just take it slow

Naydyonov · Answer

I don't think it is a good idea. You are only really entering adulthood, while he has been an adult for over a decade.

Ironic_Method · Answer

You're going to get a lot of flak for it, but consenting adults is fine with me personally.

iheartwomen · Answer

fuck it, if ur both consenting i think it’s fine

TooHot2Care · Answer

Do what you want. . . . What are THEY gonna do? Arrest you? They can't do SHIT to you. XD

Anonymous · Answer

You can, but you have to question the guy's motives. It is kind of creepy.

HippieVeganJewslim · Answer

Yes, as all You need is love. I dated a 55-year-young at age 18.

Anonymous · Answer

When I was your age I used to do it for sex lol, not sure how this answers your question lol.

EaterPeter · Answer

Whose life will be impacted most by you dating an older man?

Luckycharms12 · Answer

No different places in life for fun ya be okay long term wouldn't work

TiaNour · Answer

You’re an adult, make your own decisions whether you want to or not.

LordOfThePines · Answer

Certainly, you are both adults, I see no issues.

Anonymous · Answer

It's true you're an adult and that you could do whatever you want. But be careful they don't use you or manipulate you.

Sabretooth · Answer

The best part of a relationship is growing together. Are you willing to sacrifice that?

Anonymous · Answer

It's okay guess. But know the odds for long term success are not with you. Good luck!

SadisticSlxt · Answer

Personally I think 2 years difference in age is gross enough

Kaneki05 · Answer

Yeah assuming there aren't any red flags.

Anonymous · Answer

A bit too much most likely... what are your reasons?

Siri137 · Answer

Sure, go for it.

I’m 19, would it be ok for me to date a 34 year old?

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