I'm 20 is it okay to date a 34 years old guy?

Question

Is 25 girl and 40 year old guy works in a relationship?

SteveSmith1985 · Accepted Answer

I'm afraid it doesn't work out quite so simply.

You're right... an age-gap becomes less significant the older two people get. But really, a 25 year old and a 40 year old is more-or-less the same shit.

I'm 37, and, in general, tend to be attracted to younger women. Now, keep in mind, I'm not saying I try and date younger women. Especially not someone in her early 20's.

But, I would be about as 'open' to dating a younger woman as you're going to find.

I also have a good friend who is your age, and she's also inclined to be attracted to way older guys (in general). I'm definitely coming from a "older brother" perspective with her... but I've actually thought and talked A LOT about this exact question--just as it pertains to her... thankfully, mostly hypothetically.

However... that is NOT how I saw it when applied to my friend, who I care about and feel protective over. Suddenly 21 seems so young when I remember that's how old she is now.

So I think it really does depend on "what kind of 20-year-old" you are. My friend, for example, is awesome, but she really doen't have a lot of relationship experience. She's never truly had her heart broken. She's never experienced a guy go from "amazing" to "an asshole" overnight. She hasn't done any of that "hard living" (relationship-wise).

You might be very different for all I know.

There are guys your age (any age) who are "sharks." The charming, sweet-talking, manipulator who does an excellent job of hiding what a monster he is. You already know that.

A 20 year-old 'shark' you have a chance of possibly catching something 'off' before you really get in a bad situation. It's hard enough to fend those fuckers off.

A guy like that whose 35... would run circles around any 20 year old. They're just more sophisticated. That's the "worst-case" scenario fear.

But what it comes down to, mostly, is that you are in two different stages of life. You very likely are looking for different things from a partner. I think that's the main stumbling block.

To be perfectly honest with you: If it were myself... thinking about getting involved with a 22 year-old, my worry would be that she wouldn't be taking things as seriously.

I've always been a monogamist, long-term-girlfriend kinda dude. I've always taken my relationships seriously. Nevertheless, there really IS a difference in how you look at a relationship when you're 20 vs when you're 35.

If a guy is dating at 35, he's either looking to "have fun". Or he's looking for someone to settle-down with. You may be looking to find "your future husband" too. The problem is the difference is what "settling down" actually looks like (and whether that's congruent with your life... as you go into your early-mid 20's).

Conversely, I would worry that a 35 year old getting involved with a 20-year-old would be doing it for the wrong reasons. Because of the exact same thing I said above. It's hard to imagine that you COULD be looking for the same type of future considering the age difference.

At least the 35 year old SHOULD be weary about getting involved with you. If he doesn't have 'concerns' then that's concerning.

Unless you're both just looking to "have fun", in which case... yea, no problem with the age gap (although you might get some looks out in public).

But for a real relationship. It's not that it CAN'T work (it does work on occasion). It's just that there are a lot of potential problems on-top of all the usual potential problems with any two people working out. But it really does depend on the specific two people in question.

UmbrusNightshade · Accepted Answer

There are always exceptions but statistics suggest that anything beyond 10 years is more likely to fail than succeed. Ideally a partner will be within 3 years of your age either way as that age range has the overall highest chance to workout, but anything up to 10 years is within a more likely to work area.

catiecatie · Accepted Answer

As a girl that was in a relationship that had a 14 year age difference in saying it doesn’t. I was with mine for about 6 months. He ended it over Snapchat and we had to see each other at work. I’m out of that workplace but I do have a crush on an old coworker out there. He’s my age and I hope he comes around. Fingers crossed! But again no it won’t work out and for the people that do they get teased and bullied most of the time.

SeriouslyFunny00 · Accepted Answer

If you want him, you can break the rules. I've done the same thing and I don't regret it. Just choose wisely and of course, know the person really well. Age doesn't automatically mean maturity, but for many older men, they knew how to treat a woman right.. even like a queen.

Apple1996 · Answer

If he's old enough to be your dad then you shouldn't date him. I'd say 14 years is too large of a gap to work out long term

Guy13 · Answer

That’s to far away in age.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

For that to work, the older person would need to look and feel as young as the younger person, so that lifespans match up, and their hobbies and interests would need to be the same.

Such a scenario is very rare when age gaps are that large.

TacosRAwesome · Answer

Ignore what people say because everyone has that one story of that one couple who were married for a 100 years despite their 50 year age gap...

Ask yourself..

Is he a good person?

Does he respect your opinion or does he use your age as an excuse to make all the decisions?

Are you into him?

Is he into you because you're you not because you're young?

Gibbons44 · Answer

The only time those age gaps are important is whilst one is a minor and there are restrictions on age allowed to marry/start a pregnancy.

Dating, itself - any age. Marriage -> as long as it is legal (over 14 years old in Germany, 18 in the UK, 16 in the Netherlands etc)

Keishio · Answer

It won't work. As soon as the relationship becomes official you'll start to rapidly age to catch up with the new partner. In some cases the younger of the two has been known to overtake the elder in age thus forcing rapid aging on their partner. If this continues to spiral out of control you'd both at best have 8 days of life left.

lightbulb27 · Answer

you are considered an adult and free to do what you want with your life. you accept responsibility, rewards, and consequences of your choices. It can work, sometimes it doesn't

inhua · Answer

it's your relationship. not other people's relationship if you're looking for social approval, you're never gonna get it 100%

Straight2thepoint · Answer

Obviously you know it's wrong. Your age range question got even worse in the description after the title question. I say go for it, and don't get mad when ur asked if it's a daughter and dad night out. Or people ask about the relationship.

jshm2 · Answer

Sure, you won't be arrested for it. You're both adults.  What's your whole story though?

FilmGuy93 · Answer

That's a great way to get the ever-living shit used out of you, but if you like the idea of having your heart disregarded; feel free.

KrisKris81 · Answer

Ultimately, love knows no bounds. But, extreme age differences can be more than just an age difference. By your thirties you have an, almost, completely different outlook on life.

Astarlessnightsky · Answer

Why would this not be okay. If this is okay for you and your partner, its okay for everyone.

Berethor · Answer

Not uncommon for men to go for young girls, you think that you can date a man at that age?

LiamJHayden · Answer

Okay to date, yes. Likely to last? Sometimes. Ritchie Blackmore and Candice Night were 44 and 19 when they got together, and are still together 32 years later.

Dorian451 · Answer

It's okay, but some weirdos will tell you no. If you love someone, just be with them.  Who cares what I think? Don't let anybody take your joy, not even me.

Iron_Man · Answer

Is 25 girl and 40 year old guy works in a relationship? Yes it will work if you have things in common

Anonymous · Answer

Have your fun while it lasts, but it's all temporary. And why would you want it to? In 20 years, that same girl will be 45 and still prime time if she stays in shape, and the guy will be a 60 year old buzzard!

Rockstarrrrr · Answer

Maybe it's just me but I find it gross lol... I'm talking about 20 and 34... I think 25 and 40 is kinda okay... It's about age groups really

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

When I was age 35, I dated an 18-year-old girl.

exitseven · Answer

You are both adults, if you want to date, then go for it.

Dreamer_xo · Answer

I’m 26 my boyfriend is 40. Sometimes I can shut down under stress and he struggles with that since he’s very direct but other than that we don’t have issues.

Anonymous · Answer

I’m 35, girlfriend is 19. Dated for a year now.  Things will work if both of you want it to work.

HippieVeganJewslim · Answer

Perfectly fine. Young + old = love. Dawn Marie is 22 years older than I, and nothing bad happened due to our age gap.

TheFlak38 · Answer

dating is modern prostitution and you're just another whore

Hardworkingguy · Answer

Sure. What's wrong with that? If you like each other go for it. At least try. Give it a chance

Redhawkedancing · Answer

If two people are over the age of 18, whose business is it who dates who? My opinion.

UncleBilll · Answer

I would date any age from 18-29, I've dated a few of my daughter's friends and others

noohair · Answer

I would not let cultural norms keep a person from someone finding love.  Anything is ok if children or animals are not harmed.

LimitedBenefits101 · Answer

Yeah its ok, only women in their 30s and above are against it since men their age don't want them at all.

bamesjond0069 · Answer

I'm 36 and my girlfriend is 20. Been together two years. Yes ofc it's ok. Why wouldn't it be?

riverrat3 · Answer

why would they need to ask anyone, it is their choice

Anonymous · Answer

It working. Probably he think u have fresh pussy 😏😋

serious · Answer

Too much of age gap

Razp_Sorbet · Answer

If you have to ask then no

Danny_dan92 · Answer

Be prepared to get stares from people.

NostalgiaSenpi · Answer

It's fine, you're adults.

driven159 · Answer

you date who ever make you happy.

PatriceONeal · Answer

34 becomes 40 with the magic of women.

KostasKouvalis · Answer

Sure. Why not?

Anonymous · Answer

Yes it is U will learn a lot from him

Hellraiser1984 · Answer

Yes. They can.

In_Trance · Answer

Yes it is

shortster · Answer

Yes.

Anonymous · Answer

OK for who?

Jmmmfi4 · Answer

Yeah

I'm 20 is it okay to date a 34 years old guy?

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I'm 20 is it okay to date a 34 years old guy?

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